Roswell Relics on Ancient Aliens

DATELINE: Crash 50,000 Years Ago

Foot in Mouth Again?

You know you are scrapping the bottom of the barrel on season 15 of our favorite Ancient Aliens show when you send Giorgio and Linda Moulton Howe out to the desert to scrape the ground for any leftovers. Next time they will start going through dumpsters at Area 51.

With an inexpensive metal detector, Giorgio goes out into the desert, like Moses, and finds the amazing metal of a crashed flying saucer. Linda has possession for 20 years of strange metal that is impossible to make on Earth.

Now we hear there were not two, but three UFO crashes.

She has been give mysterious materials from the grandson of recovering soldier who kept the samples from the government’s coverup. These are called metamaterials.

The materials are brought to Fort Worth about the crash, but he is stopped. Gen. Ramey dumbly held a document that forensic analysis revealed that there were victims and a disc.

Linda uses white gloves at the start, later they handle these materials in bare hands. So much for care for the artifacts. The use a small detector to find a needle in a haystack or a piece of metal in a vast desert. You guessed it: Bingo!

Giorgio and Linda find two pieces of wire in the famous Gouge area.  When tested, the material could have been lost bobby pins, but the stuff is weirder.

We find that UFOs are crashing everywhere, even in Russia where nono particles have been found. It is a debris field that could be 50,000 years old!

Our highpoint is always when Giorgio misues a big word, like tertiary.

Ancient Aliens: an Elemental Approach

DATELINE:  Return of Bob Lazar

out there

“Element 115” was once a fantasy of UFO metal worker Bob Lazar, but now it has come true like a Cinderella story.

Giorgio sort of falls by the wayside for this show, and more attention is given to Nick Pope and David Childress as commentators. However, the latest addition to the expert gang is some producer of a Bob Lazar documentary. They clean this guy up, but he is still creepy.

So, Ancient Aliens recycles footage from Bob Lazar’s recent new documentary interview, which featured a raid by FBI/NSA/CIA and other alphabet acronyms. It appears he suggested he had kept a sample of this highly unstable element.

According to Ancient Alien theorists who have been taking the road to the stars for over a decade, this stuff was deliberately given to mankind to help join the member community of space patrols across the galaxy.

The notion is posed that two UFO crashes in 1947 were staged in Russia and the US in order to magnanimously bestow each with another reason to compete.

This allegedly will lead to peaceful exploration of outer space by providing humans with a fuel that alters the time/space continuum.

Ancient Aliens gives the show over to author Mike Bara and Travis Taylor to visit a Hollywood special effects lab and analyze some recent UFO footage released (suspiciously) by the Pentagon. They contend the government is giving us the drip by drip information that we are not alone.

The upshot is that, if the new Element 115 can be made to remain in a shot glass for more than a gulp or two, we can conquer the solar system and beyond.

We’ll drink to that.