Skin of Their Teeth Ranch, Drilling Down

 Dr. Travis Taylor

DATELINE: Digging Shallow

Despite all the hoopla about no digging on Skinwalker Ranch,there will be drilling down.

We suspect Travis Taylor would have walked off the show in a huff if they didn’t drill. Of course, we put nothing past the drama queens on these reality series.

Of interest was the visit of a Native American high priest or shaman. He says a prayer over the area where they will do some core samples. Dr. Travis Taylor was quite respectful because he believes that the magical approach may calm some fears and worries. The shaman was the guest of Dragonfly, the hostile security chief.

There was only a little comfort given by the guest who said, if there is trouble, they should not dig.

Sure enough, when the experts come to do core samples and check the radiation levels, there is nothing particularly sinister. However, a strange wind seemed to shake the telephone poles along the road. Taylor suspected earthquake. Tom Winterton took a powder rather than face any anomaly.

Previously Taylor received radiation burns from his work on the ranch, but all that was strangely absent when testers arrive at the same location.

The most disturbing element of the show was the cruel decision to bring two alpacas to the ranch. Exotic and adorable, they are largely silent—and were put into a pen that was not secure.

Sure enough, something attacked them in the pen. On security cameras, they are chased and are screaming. The photos are not clear and there is no way to know what was there. We blame the people who brought these defenseless creatures into the show as guinea pigs.

Guinea pigs are experimental victims. Once again, this is a unsympathetic group.

 

Skinwalker Waste of Time

DATELINE: Limited Series 

 Tom Winterbound.

Bless us and save us from those who are a day late and a dollar short. That’s saying some when you happen to be the billionaire owner of the Skinwalker Ranch.

What a dummy with an attitude.

With one of his young roustabouts hospitalized, Brandon Fugal was on the phone, ready to hop right over to the Utah site. However, it took him two days to arrive in his private fancy helicopter. Before he lands, young Tom Winterton is back from the hospital and ready to rejoin the team, health be damned.

When Fugal arrives, he has a metal case and has brought six Apple watches, or something akin, that will alert the wearers that they are under radioactive stress, or have a headache. He hands them out and is off again in his copter. He did not bother to bring watches for the ordinary workers, security guards, or even the production team for the TV show. Oh, well, it’s sort of like having coronavirus.

Next comes in a Terminator lookalike with dark glasses and a bad ass attitude with his fancy drones to look over the property and do ground radar penetration. He is so devoid of human feelings that we were tempted to suspect he was an alien skin-walker. However, when his fancy equipment had no battery connections because of the ranch overload, we had to laugh.

This show has now rendered Dr. Travis Taylor speechless and unimportant. That is not an easy task to perform. This series will be over before it can sink its hooks into you—and if History Channel has any brains, they will tell this show to shape up, or shift out.

 

 

 

 

 

The Skinny on the Skinwalker, episode 2

 DATELINE: Skinwalking on the Wild Side

 What a twit.

It’s a short trial series: but the series is offering a box of chocolates to paranormal/UFO fans. You have a true sampler. If it catches on, we might have another season. Right now, you can pinch a bunch of candies to see what flavor is hidden under the creamy covering.

Dr. Travis Taylor is hamstrung by the people who ask him to do research and come up with findings. That’s always one way to infuriate people who come to see what all the hubbub is about.

Once again, the Achilles’ heel of the show is the blowhard billionaire Brandon Fugal. If viewers are turned off and the show is stopped dead in its paranormal tracks, it is this arrogant prig’s fault. His toadies on the ranch are falling all over themselves to kiss his ring and the hand that signs their paychecks.

When the team goes out for an overnight measurement of microwaves and other electro-magnetic effects, they see on infrared beams of light over the mountaintops. There is no explanation of where or who is sending these.

Abruptly, Tom Winterton, the youngest and heathiest of all, comes down with a bad headache. It is reminiscent of something that happened a year ago out in the wilds, a mysterious head injury. He is taken to the hospital emergency room.

Taylor blames himself for setting up an experiment that could have caused injury: but there is no evidence whatsoever that there is a cause/effect related to the experiment, microwaves, or any phenomenon out there.

This calls for the billionaire owner to drop everything and show up for the next episode. If all of this seems like an overblown tempest in a teapot, you have Fugal telling viewers that all previous study info was classified and unreleased: by him? By the previous owner? By the government? Your guess is all you have because this series isn’t telling you the whole story.

 

Ancient Aliens: One Big Commercial

DATELINE: A Barrel of Lunacy?

 Ubiquitous Travis.

We know that History Channel is utterly shameless in its promotion of other series on the channel. This week another show from the producers of the Oak Island treasure show will start their examination of Skinwalker Ranch.

So, of course, Ancient Aliens cannot let the opportunity pass without horning in on the sensation.

So, we have yet another hour-long commercial announcement for a new series from the producers of the Cure of Oak Island, and lo and behold, that old History Channel staple, Dr. Travis Taylor will be host.

UFOs. Weird creatures. Poisonous ground. “Disneyland of the Paranormal,” according to Giorgio. Skinwalker Ranch is named after an indigenous shaman who was Navajo. The natives were driven out in the 1860s by the U.S. military. Yep, we are talking about an evil force in the world. Not exactly the Creature from the Black Lagoon.

Heavily armed guards take care of the property. It sounds like Area 52.

Of course, Skinwalkers are tricksters too. They shapeshift into something else or even invisible and interdimensional. There is rock art in the canyons to show creatures from another world. Many drawings show them coming out of vortexes.

It’s also known as UFO Alley, so we have here a smorgasbord of paranormal treats. Fireballs fly overhead. There are 100s of reports.

Others have seen a Dire Wolf, which has been extinct for 10,000 years, likely meaning time and space is traversed.

Another weird billionaire, Robert Bigelow, bought the place to support his ET searching efforts. He put surveillance everywhere, including security. He won’t reveal his findings.

Ancient Alienstheorizes that there are rips in the fabric of space, allowing odd and dangerous things to enter.

Are there underground space portal bases? Bigelow bailed for unknown reasons. Well, everything is there except the kitchen sink, but maybe the new series will show us that.

 

 

Invaders from Skinwalker Ranch

DATELINE: Blue on Blue 

Skeptical Star as Dr. Hyneck

 If Project Blue Book knows what it needs to do to be renewed, it is playing a cagey game as we wound down for the season 2.

The latest episode seems to be a throwback to the old chestnut classic movie Invaders from Mars wherein a young boy is terrified by space aliens living under his rustic home. His parents are soon part of the delusional dream. You may recall the old William Cameron Menzies classic movie.

Then, we discover that the Utah setting for the family homestead is related to a new series that will replace Project Blue Bookat the end of the month!

If you watch the History Channel previews, you already know that the timeslot will be taken over, not by zombies, but by a close second:  The Secrets of Skinwalker Ranch, produced by the same folks who give you The Curse of Oak Island.

And a mysterious millionaire has purchased the property and is now opening it up for Dr. Travis Taylor. Gee, how do we figure out Marty Lagina is in the picture? Perhaps when he son Alex is part of the new show’s cast.

Yes, Dr. Hyneck and Captain Quinn are learning that the paranormal ranch is where Navajo saw shapeshifter and spirits. Nice segue, if not too obvious.

Yes, the dream sequence is caused by some neural gas being pumped in as part of an Air Force experiment. Well, at least they were not feeding the kid LSD, like the CIA.

On top of that, our two comic generals have discovered Captain Quinn’s Soviet agent girlfriend and they are immediately suspicious whereas Mike Malarkey’s pipsqueak officer is in the dark.

Hot Time in Chile for Ancient Aliens

DATELINE: Move Over, Peru 

 Greetings!

Oh, don’t say you’ve been there, done that. Those Nazca Lines you’ve heard about for years are 500 miles north of the Atacama Desert in Chile. There, Ancient Aliens has found dozens more carvings into the bone-dry earth. This is the mother-lode of UFO messages.

Bigger and better, as they say. Missed by UFOlogists for years.

Rain hasn’t fallen there in centuries, and NASA uses it as a substitute for Mars. It’s just like home to those spacemen from Mars.

It also happens that Chile is the hotspot for UFO sightings in the world. More are seen per square mile there than anywhere else. It seems the ancient astronauts can’t go home. Chile is home.

This week for a change, none of the regulars make a vacation trip to Chile, which says it all. All commentaries are done remotely, and the local experts are brought in from local studios.

Erich van Daniken is around too for this episode, telling us the flat stone plates in the desert made for good landing spots. And nobody knows how they got there.

A few indigenous tribes were later wiped out by European settlers, and they may have had plenty of answers. However, the Chilean government is more than cooperative with Ancient Aliens and the bureau of tourism.

Of course, this is a three thousand north-south country, skinny with lots of desolate hiding places.

They bring in Dr. Travis Taylor for a visit to see some infra-red photos of a strange UFO invisible to the naked eye, but leaving some kind of exhaust trail behind. Could it be some kind of secret project out of Area 51? It’s enough to make Dr. Taylor a believer.

 

 

 

 

Another Oak Island Fake Documentary

 DATELINE: Kidding the Kidder?

The second attempt to whet the appetite of the fans for the seventh season of Curse of Oak Island proves to be a phony countdown. Here are the 25 most likely theories about the what explains the mystery on the island.

This list of “top” items has no particular logic to it.

How does it differ from the top 25 moments on the series? Well, it all covers the same ground, atop and underneath.

This gives the series host a bunch of short bridge moments between three or four-minute segments. These rehash topics are not in any sense of urgency or chronology, as presented by Matty Blank, er, Blake.

In fact, the oldest theories about what happened on the Nova Scotia island may be the earliest and oldest items: like this is the treasure of a couple of dubious pirates: Captain Kidd or Sir Francis Drake. As we recall from our 33rddegree Mason great-uncle who went up there every summer from the 1920s to the 1960s, this was the common belief of residents.

To lesser extent, there was a belief that Marie Antoinette’s jewels may be there, or Shakespearean folios hidden by Sir Francis Bacon.

Recently the show has bought forth a bunch of neo-experts, including Travis Taylor (he brought the star map theory), or people who believe that the Aztecs reached up to Oak Island where Spanish conquistadors put the Mexican treasure,

Don’t expect answers: after all, they want you to tune into their best kept secret shows that begin in a few weeks. You will be teased with Columbus and Washington as potential treasure plotters.

Hang in there, fans, (or as Matty Blake calls you–“Acorns”) but these alleged hook shows are really counter-suspense and point-killers.

 

 

Astrology Over Astronomy for Ancient Aliens

DATELINE: Return to Oak Island

   Crossover Taylor!

It’s Labor Day weekend, and Ancient Aliens is about to wrap Season 14 with its 13thepisode on how a “Constellation Code,” may prove that aliens gave secret information to humans through messages in the stars. This also is another misleading episode, differing from  the one advertised for showing all week.

For several weeks Ancient Aliens has engaged in some bait-and-switch tactics when it comes to keeping the contents of the new release private. Again this week, the episode is not what they claimed it would be:  why? The series may be more secretive than the National Security Council of the Trump Administration.

Well, if Ancient Alien theorists are to be believed, our academic intelligentsia is about as dumb as the rocks they cannot turn over. Though many scientists debunk the fortune-telling that comes from reading the stars to predict the future, Ancient Aliens revels in it.

Now, they say the mirror effect that puts star constellations as part petroglyph buildings and monuments is proof that aliens gave early culture a heads up about who they were and where they came from: two places seem to be the most frequently copied on earth as ground-level star maps—and these could be the origins of alien life that seeded earth.

They even trot out Travis Taylor’s visit earlier this year to Oak Island (featuring the Lagina brothers) where he showed how the island is actually a place with key stones aligned that are stars in the heavens. What does it all mean? Why is this evident? He has no idea.

Robert Clotworthy’s voice-over is on familiar ground this week. He almost seems to be doing a promo for the upcoming season of Curse of Oak Island.

Giorgio visits Italy to look at monuments that again seem to indicate constellations in the night sky. The only reason for this, the theorists insist, is to show that ancient people knew their gods were actually space creatures. They even go one step beyond this twilight zone to say 90% of people know their zodiac sign, more proof that the message “we are not alone” is writ big in the sky.

Un-X-splained!

DATELINE: History Channel Unchanneled

 Shat Upon a Time!

We decided to take in an episode of the new series on History that is hosted by William Shatner. it’s on the same idea of In Search of.... that starred, first, Leonard Nimoy, and last year, the Nimoy clone of Spock, Zack Quinto.

Now, we have Captain Kirk taking over a limited series.

Of course, we had trouble finding it because we thought, silly us, that the name of the show was The Unexplained. Well, that chestnut was on several years ago for several seasons.

We readily admit we were dumfounded. We could not find the show on alphabetical listing, in search mode, or anywhere. Then, it dawned on us that we know how to spell–and heaven help us, it is now a disadvantage.

You guessed it: the show’s title is misspelled (deliberately. we suspect) in order to use the word, but keep it different from other series titles. You see, they took out the “e” from Unexplained. It’s Un X plained, all one big wrong word.

That is only the start of the battle. The host is remarkable: Shatner is now pushing 90 and seems unstoppable. There is a problem because he is stuffed into his expensive suit coat like a prize stuffed turkey, ready for Thanksgiving.

He is appropriately histrionic about various issues, and his delivery would make Khan blush.

We watched the show about Nature gone mad.

The show featured segments on the fire under ground in Centralia, PA, and the idea that trees communicate through their root system, and on and on.

It was amusing stuff, and the experts looked like the cast of Ancient Aliens and their resident experts. No, Georgio wasn’t there–but Mucho Kakookoo and Taylor Travis were giving their expertise.

All in all, it’s an amusing time-killer, but we doubt it is burning up the cable wires. It will be gone after a few more episodes.

Oak Island: Rocky Roads for Season 6

DATELINE: Bring On Dr. Travis Taylor!

Gary with Peter Gary & Peter.

We’re back to Oak Island with a two-hour extravaganza called “Rock Solid,” but there is quicksand everywhere as 2019 starts.

The million-dollar boondoggle at Smith’s Cove has sprung multiple leaks. Was this not foreseen? It’s so bad that the two nephews, Alex and Peter, are sent by Uncle Rick to go to the outside and use silicone sealant along the seams of the steel barrier. Young and dumb always wins the dirty work.

We saw that TV commercial where the guy sprays sealant on a screen glued to his boat bottom and he sails with the sharks visible underneath. Alex and Peter have to work quickly, lest the tide and time take them.

With Gary Drayton finding another hole filled with goodies, they bring back the drudge government archeologist Nivens, who immediately takes a garden trowel to the site. Come back in a few years to find out what’s there.

Alex Lagina and Charles Barkhouse return to Halifax, Nova Scotia, to look in an old business for the Rosetta Stone of the pirate treasure. Guess what? Two years ago they couldn’t find it in the dingy basement tunnels of a city business.

However, this time, eureka is not just a Latin word. The long-lost stone with odd hieroglyphs from the original dig has been located: 200 pounds that needs laser treatment to recover the messages once on its surface.

So, they called in the big gun:  fresh off his series on History that was canceled about Nikola Tesla, the notable PhD star, Travis Taylor enters. He immediately shakes up the team with a new theory.

You never know what will eventuate when History Channel transports old stars to a new setting. Dr. Travis Taylor notes that the island is actually a star map—and blame those pesky Masons yet again.

We seem to be revving the engine for something in the coming weeks. Curse of Oak Island has never looked more promising.

 

 

Tesla Paranoia Grows on Tesla Files

DATELINE: History Channel Series

 Old Man Tesla Old Man Tesla!

The conspiracy theory is not just in old man Nikola Tesla’s mind during his last decades. It’s clearly in the brains of the series stars and producers, as the Tesla Files moves closer to other conspiracy theory shows on History Channel.

We expect a guest appearance from Bob Baer and the guys over at Oak Island next.

In this week’s thrilling episode, one of the researchers rides in an original Tesla car while the other watches. Neither is allowed to drive it.

They also don military camo-fatigues and fly in an Osprey based on Tesla’s designs. We are meant to be thrilled for them.

Our intrepid researchers seem to be working in this show for Tesla biographer Marc Seidel. No one told him that they’re the stars of the show. So, he meets with a government leaker and discovers that there was a mole among Nikola Tesla’s research friends.

Yes, someone named Bloyce Fitzgerald, an MIT student during WW2, befriended Tesla in New York and was feeding the Office of Strategic Service all kinds of info on Tesla experiments. That was the proto-CIA.

Indeed, Bloyce will be bloys and may have helped organize the raid on Tesla’s New Yorker Hotel room, taking all those missing files at the moment the old man croaked. President Trump’s fake news uncle is featured prominently here.

Our researchers have a fascinating detail, but don’t seem to do much with the info—except cluck over it.

Doc Travis Taylor does give himself credit for suggesting that the entire New Yorker Hotel was a replacement for Wardenclyffe—and was in and of itself a giant communication device.

We are either heading toward a death ray weapon created by Tesla in the 1920s and 1930s, or we have cross-purposes and cross-pollinate with Ancient Aliens and end up with Martian communications via the Nazi Bell on next season’s Hunt for Hitler.

Stay tuned as the research heads back to the New Yorker next time. We expect to hear that Tesla and Orson Welles co-produced the radio broadcast of War of the Worlds.

Off the Wardenclyffe: Tesla Files 1.3

 DATELINE: Bell Tolls for Tesla

Stapleton Stapleton 

The Tesla Files continued to impress with the latest episode in the series.

Several investigations followed the pattern Tesla took after he returned from Colorado in 1900. At this point he went to the New Yorker Hotel as his new headquarters. An interesting trip three floors below street level revealed a major tunnel system.

The hotel also had its own power source, which likely convinced Tesla that his experiments might be better served by the proximity to a major city. Around this time, he also made a deal with J.P. Morgan that floundered and caused the tycoon to lead a movement to discredit Tesla and his inventions.

It was out on Long Island that he used much of the funding from Morgan before it ran out. Here he built a tower for communications or power, no one knows which, and perhaps too an elaborate tunnel system, over 100 feet below the surface and extending out to the ocean.

The show cannot investigate the shut-down lab because of deadly mold, but they can send in a drone, giving insights into the workplace of Tesla.

Also intriguing is the parallel to the German World War II “Bell,” which might have been a time machine or anti-gravity device. The footprint of Tesla’s tower on Long Island matches exactly the footprint shape of the Nazi experiments in Poland.

Our journalistic investigator, Jayson Stapleton, with tattoos and a down-payment/goatee (known as an imperial in some circles) has become a man quite sure of himself. Having both a goatee and down-payment is sort of like wearing a belt with suspenders.

Who said TV wasn’t educational?

 

 

 

 

 

Tesla Files: 1.2 in Colorado Springs

DATELINE: Tireless Wireless

 camera shy Eby    Camera Shy Drew Eby

The Tesla Files continue with a second episode trying to locate dozens of lost trunks of experiments and notes. One expert has already questioned the show’s veracity, as the stuff was supposedly taken from Nikola Tesla’s storage facility upon his death in 1943 by agents unknown.

Dr. Travis Taylor, beau hunk of academia, and star of other cable adventure shows, including Ancient Aliens, exerts his formidable ginger presence and scholarly credentials to dominate this series.

Few of us with doctorates have a website with adoring fans, effusing over a ten-year old photo. Indeed, we are noted for posting a picture with our head in a bag with an eye hole. We won’t be hosting any History Channel documentaries. Our former students are loath to watch or to listen to our pontifications.

Taylor surrounds his investigation with fellow boyish assistants who look like former students. At least one, Drew Eby, will likely give Alex Lagina a run for hot supporting character in a limited series. As the show’s Vanna White, he pushes electrical buttons and lets the charge rip.

A secondary journalist/investigator goes to a local museum to learn that Tesla’s possessions went up for auction in 1906 for failure to pay his electric bill. Talk about poetic justice.

Upon locating a copper ball that allegedly sent out vibrations to ancient aliens, he discovers it likely is not genuine. It’s the stock-in-trade of shows like this: whet your appetite and feed you to the critics.

Meanwhile, we are intrigued with leaked material from unnamed sources, and name-dropping of Trump connections.

There are many colorized pictures of young Tesla, which may be worth the price of historical History Channel viewing.

We will continue to watch the series and wireless experiments on our wireless smartphone, to keep in the spirit of Tesla.