Rondo Fire Sale is On—Again!

DATELINE: FOOLISH THINGS RondoBeard

Danny Ainge of the Celtics front office is backing down from trade rumors yet again. And, for those birdwatchers that wait for the swallows to return and the cicada to emerge, the Rondo trade machine is revving up.

Boobirds and Rondo haters are plentiful this time of year when thoughts have turned to holly and draft lotteries. Without Rondo the Celts could lose 50 games, so say the experts.

If you don’t have a tiger out of your tank, you aren’t tanking fast enough.  Fans on the bandwagon are claiming you had better trade Rajon Rondo for a turkey fryer or at least a George Foreman grill before the snow flies. Just dump him.

This time Rondo was allegedly being shopped for Amare Stoudemire and several unused floats in the Macy’s Parade down 34th Street. Suffice it to say Danny needs more than a giant inflatable Bullwinkle for another Celtics duckboat parade.

Those of us who make a living off Rondo’s life in Boston are anxious that Rondo is like a glass of milk and cookies you leave out for Santa Claus. We worry that the milk will sour before he arrives and will give Mr. Claus gastroparesis.

If Rondo is out there for sale, someone in Houston will offer Jeremy Lin for him—and there you go. Linsanity will trump Rondomania every time.

We can only hope that $24 worth of wampum and beads will not lead to a deal similar to buying Manhattan off some locals as did the Dutch 400 years ago. Rondo is worth more than a string of Oyster Bay pearls. You could probably get Kevin Garnett back from the Brooklyn Nets in a trade if you drive a hard bargain, Danny.

Fans of Rondo may not want to read RAJON RONDO: SUPERSTAR or its sequel RAJON RONDO & THE GREEN NEBULA. Both are suitable Xmas gifts for Rondo haters and can be found on Amazon.com.