Red, White & Boo Sox

DATELINE: Trump Hits for the Cycle!

King John Henry & King Trump Kings: John Henry & Trump!

Donald Trump did not disinvite this team from his chicken-wing fast-food White House. That’s likely because the Red Sox self-determined that players of color (who actually were the heart and soul of the World Series) chose to avoid the ceremony.

Unlike other times, Trump did not blanch white at the idea that players of color showed him disrespect. He seemed pleased.

So, who did show up? The team insists that these winners are not losers in the race divide of America. Yet, we begin to wonder if the team we see on the field this season will amount to a hill of white fava beans.

Sean Spicer, Sox fan and former White House official, was stopped at the door for being a media member. So much for the goldfish memory of Trump’s team.

You cannot have half the Red Sox team in discord against the other half—well, you can, but these are not repeat winners. This year they appropriately stink up Fenway Park.

These are the whiter than white Red Sox from the town where black players have repeatedly complained about racist taunts from the fans.

The billionaire ownership has dismissed these failings in the fans. Indeed, one owner, named Tom Werner, was the man who hired Bill Cosby and defended him against all the charges made by women whose legal redress sent the Coz to jail. The other supercilious owner is King John Henry VIII whose elitism may rival Trump. You’ll never catch John Henry in a massage parlor like his fellow billionaire owner, Robert Kraft.

Trump did not breathe the name of Alex Cora, the Puerto Rican manager, who has lambasted the racism of Trump. You’d not find any White House credit given to the man whom Boston media and fans lauded as the reason for the World Series victory in 2018.

Red Sox white nationalist supporters claim that baseball is apolitical. The question is what exactly is an apolitical sport? As we recall, the origins of baseball were that it was a game for “white gentlemen.”

Black leagues were separate and kept unequal for 100 years. The Red Sox, we remind you, were the last major league team to integrate. Pumpsie Green was their first black player—and he sat on the bench for years.

Welcome to the White House, you white suck-up Sox.




Red Sox Owner Tom Werner & Bill Cosby



Once again, the Boston sports media has fallen down on the job.

Over the past year or so, there have been ample opportunities to ask owner Tom Werner, the media expert of the Red Sox and co-owner of the largest share with John Henry, about his dubious association with Bill Cosby.

You might better remember Werner as the man who decided to fire Voice of the Red Sox for years, Don Orsillo, for no reason except trust in his own good judgment and disregard of fans.

Now it’s come back to us in the age of #MeTooism, that Tom Werner was one of the first great enablers of actor and sexual predator Bill Cosby as a Hollywood TV producer.

Werner was the producer of the Cosby series from 1984 to 1992, making both men rich and giving Werner the opportunity to buy the Red Sox in subsequent years.

Tom Werner is not to become confused with Werner von Braun, the space scientist. They are heavens apart.

No member the media has asked Tom about how he enabled Cosby. No member of the media has asked him for his opinion on all of the charges against his former star and pal of the series.

Unlike the previous owner named Tom (that’s Tom Yawkey, folks), Tom Werner had no problems with hiring black people and using them to profit. Tom Werner has been instrumental behind the name change of Yawkey Way in Boston near Fenway Park, with its racist connotations, to turn back the clock to the original name, Jersey Street.

But, we digress.

What did Tom Werner know and when did he know it about Bill Cosby? No one seems to have asked him the question. So, we will.

Tom, did you have any idea about all the women that Bill Cosby was accosting?

Cosby was the Harvey Weinstein of the Dark Ages in Hollywood. Werner was apparently the man behind the curtain in those dark ages. For years he helped Cosby become a success.

If there are any Red Sox fans who belong to #MeToo’s movement, they should be asking about Werner too.



Don’t We Already Have Enough LeBron James Remorse?


                       Laugh-In for LeBron: New SitCom

Red Sox limited owner Tom Werner gave us the Cosby Show and Roseanne and now wants to give us the LeBron Laugh-in Show.

Yes, LeBron James wants to stew his creative juices into a television series, ominously titled Survivor’s Remorse.

When a TV series is billed as a situation comedy on a cable network, you know it won’t have the high literary caliber of Mr. Ed or The Beverly Hillbillies.

Yet, LeBron wants to portray a weekly laughfest about two men who make filthy millions and go back to their poor neighborhoods to flaunt their success. In the James world this is funny stuff.

Though LeBron will not act on this show (his flopping will suffice for drama critics), he will serve as Executive Producer. For those unfamiliar with the title, this is the guy who never does any work. That’s the executive producer. The Executive Producer simply pours all his money into the pit.

To avoid autobiographical parallels to LeBron’s sordid life as a traitor and turncoat, the story will be set in Philadelphia, not Akron. The main character’s mother will not be a harridan chasing the hero’s teammates, though it could be the funniest premise on the show. Someone call Whoopie.

The NBA character may sell out his hometown in this series, but the laugh-track will have to work overtime to fill in that plot hole.

Fame in the 21st century likely means LeBron will have to put in a cameo appearance on his show to give it a boost in the ratings. The Starz network generally has viewers numbering in the hundreds.

Publicists say that the Werner touch will likely mean the show will give fans a bumpy ride, but if you have followed LeBron’s career, you know that he is the NBA version of Margo Channing.

And, no, that is not Tatum’s old lady.


Tom Werner to Produce ‘Red Sox Acres’ with Arnold the Pig


Millionaire owner Tom Werner of the Red Sox read the book by former manager Terry Francona, and his insight into the Red Sox in 2011 in particular.

Werner expressed pleasure that he did not have to buy the book, which would have set him back $20 when the Red Sox sellout streak is about to come to a crashing boring end. You have to save every penny when you have blown millions on ungrateful players.

Not exactly a literary critic, Werner who produced the highly fictional Cosby Show knows a fake when he sees it. As an actor, he plays an owner on television.

Whether it is Moby Dick showing a megalomaniac ship’s captain or Gone with the Wind depicting a scalawag’s rise and fall, Werner can see the forest from the trees.

Unfortunately for him, he is the one treed by the Francona epic of revenge and sweetness. Werner insists the sexiest Red Sox player he insisted Ben Cherington sign is Vicente Padilla.

The bloodhounds don’t bother Werner as he knows that Mickey Spillane won’t catch him. Lucchino also did not read the book and won’t until the chickens cross the road. He won’t take to the bully pulpit again while anyone is looking.

The third victim of the Francona firing squad, John Henry, noted that he only read the passages that related to him.

Out in sunny Phoenix where the new Dodgers are lining up to take potshots at the Red Sox, Carl Crawford and Adrian Gonzalez spared no rod, taking Red Sox owners to the woodshed in a corroboration of Francona’s “fiction.”

Red Sox Acres will make a hilarious TV series. But who’d play Arnold the Pig?



Tito Francona Bites the Sexy Back of the Red Sox


The French Revolution caused heads to roll, but that may be nothing compared to the new book by Terry Francona, the former Red Sox manager done dirt by ownership.

King John Henry VIII, principal owner of the Red Sox yacht called the S.S. Minnow, is to be cast adrift by Boston fans like Captain Bligh.

Tom Werner, another of the Three Stooges Owners and Cosby Show producer, wanted sexy back—and urged the team to find good looking players to please the fans, which no doubt led to the Red Sox marketing department to say Jacoby Ellsbury had a large gay fan base.

Larry Lucchino, the enforcer of the threesome, may need to break the legs of any one at NESN who mentions the new Francona book. Francona noted that the owners’ TV network required more exciting ways to win baseball games for better ratings.

With a handful of excerpts hitting the sports media market, the Sox ownership has found its wish-come-true: they have a soap opera story to appeal to fans.

Boston sports media has an uncanny ability to smell one drop of blood in an ocean as big as Red Sox Nation—and right now the Sox franchise is hemorrhaging through every orifice. Mack the Knife could not have done a better job on John Henry’s crew.

If ever there was an impetus to sell the Red Sox, the ownership has found themselves in dry dock while the ship searches for leaks.

Expect a new reality series, exclusively shown on the Sox cable TV network in which good-looking, pleasant guys in the locker room will take lots of showers. It’s getting their sexy back.