Brady Humiliates Belichick

SuperTom’s botox image

DATELINE:  Botox Notwithstanding

You cannot put any fancy spin on this: Tom Brady has willed himself into another Super Bowl, his tenth, while his nemesis coach will be sitting home watching on TV.

On a bad team, the Buccaneers, where everyone claimed Brady would flounder, he took his TB Tompa Bay mentality to the limits. He raised the dead and cleansed the lepers. Tom is heading to Super Bowl LV at age XLIII. He sounds like the ultimate pope to poop on the Patriots.

There will be no nachos and parity party at the Belichick house where his fake coach sons and he will stew in their own juices. Brady will adorn himself with youthful passing whilst bypassing Belichick.

Belichick had no use for Brady and threw him out with the trash. He refused in the final few years in Foxboro to pay any receivers or keep any that Brady liked or preferred. He had a hit list, and the last name on it was Tom.

This is not to take any humiliation away from Robert Kraft, the baloney-ridden owner of the Patriots and his awesome and legendary (in his mind) franchise. With the lowest payroll, it finally bit the dust.

Maybe we will hear that Kraft has taken solace in some seedy massage parlor and Belichick has hired new videographers for next season.

New England looks like a frozen tundra next to Tompa Bay.

It doesn’t matter when the New England Patriots said Tom Brady was ready for the knackers yard.  It appears the tables have turned, and the Russian roulette bullet chamber is squarely spinning on Belichick’s brain-trust. “In Bill we trust”  now seems to be the mantra of idiots.

Tom Brady at 43 has turned Belichick into a man who might well consider his Social Security as the soft landing spot to blow out his overblown legend. This has not been a good year for Trump supporters, rioters, or Patriot coaches.




Ivanka’s Wacky Future

Next Door Neighbor and Political Ally?

DATELINE:  Like Father, Like Daughter 

Where will the President’s First Daughter go after four years of delusions? She said she won’t go to the Biden Inauguration. She has that right: she wasn’t invited.

She has burned the New York Brooklyn Bridge to her former home.  She and hubby Kushner have bought property on Indian Creek Island, a billionaire playground in Florida.

She plans to build a new mansion, worthy of her. What’s interesting is that she purchased the land within days of Tom Brady also buying into the 30 manse island, with security that US Capitol would envy.

They both will build as neighbors. In fact, Brady once was the marriage partner choice of Daddy Trump, but Brady knew better. His wife is a genuine billionaire.

And, Giselle has social contacts that will open up the private golf course for Tom. It seems the residents are rather cool to Trump and his family. Ivanka and hubby Jared are not golfers, and they likely will be shunned by the community.

However, Ivanka is thinking politics. She may be on a crash course with Tom here too. Rumor has it that she wants to be a US Senator, and will challenge Rubio in 2022.  

Tom will have to wait for the next seat. They both will feel more comfortable with the conservative, senior voters of Florida than anything in the Northeast where bad weather and bad politics go hand in gloves.

By the time Tom Brady is ready to venture out from his Indian Creek luxury life, Ivanka will be running for president and Tom can step into her senate seat.

Poor Marco Rubio. All that loyalty to Trumps will end with ashes in his mealy-mouth.

Tom Brady Petition: Give Back That $$$

Brady’s Disgusting Loan from Trump

DATELINE: TB12 Fake Loan

 We complained in several blogs, but only Dillon McMahon has actually done something about it. He now is approaching 75,000 signatures on a petition that protests the SBA loan Tom Brady received out of need to meet his payroll of one.

Tom Brady, multi-millionaire and his semi- billionaire model wife received, as Trump supporters, nearly a hefty loan for their small business, TB12, which sells copper-infused pajamas, and various vitamins.

Now a petition on is demanding they give back that money, repay it, or do something to help the millions of poor with no rent money or food money.

Brady, slimeball that he is, took the loan and promptly went out and bought a yacht for his new Indian Creek Island home. If that weren’t galling enough, on Xmas Eve, he sold his Massachusetts mansion for about $30 million.

Yes, he needs a loan like the Kansas City Chiefs need a young quarterback.

If you have a moral scruple, you will go to and sign the Brady petition. It may not have much power except to embarrass a slug.


Tom Brady: Oh, Say, Can You See?

 DATELINE:  Charitable De-pants of Brady

 Splitsville for Tom? Pulling an Elvis?

Tom Brady’s golf game has brought a split decision. It was a new low for the Super Bowl man without a pocket.

The big televised charity golf tournament with Peyton Manning, Phil Mickelson and Tiger Woods, came apart at the seams during the match.

It seems Tom Brady bent over and found himself flying by the seat of his pants. How could a man so thin break the laws of physics? Or maybe he just broke the wind speed for a tee-off swing.

We haven’t seen such roughage to a wardrobe since Janet Jackson pulled her prank. Yes, Tom, we see you for all your worth. He needed his copper-infused pajama pants to play the rest of the game.

If we recall clearly, Elvis used to regularly split his pants in his final concert tour. Some believe it was sewn into the act.

Tom needed a diversion, and a pair of Sponge Bob’s pants fit the bill, harry, and tom. Underneath it all, there came a subpar moment in sports history. This seemed to parallel Spygate, Deflategate, and the general run of fake news.

Now this has nothing on Trump on Memorial Day, swaying in the breeze like the American flag. Supporters wanted to support the unsteady President who played golf the day before and showed his handicap: standing still.

In front of the Unknown Soldier during a ceremony, Trump looked like a man who had a few too-many swigs of Clorox before the game. He needed his club to act as a walker. We expect to see Trump split voters and pants, but never Tom Brady, his ardent supporter friend.

We gasped to see what color Tom’s undies might be: at least he wore undies, unlike some NFL players on Sunday games day.

Tom’s world tour of torn pants and broken promises will continue in Tompa Bay where the sea breeze will send a cooling cool to the Elvis stunt.

On the Death of Kobe

DATELINE: Another Legend’s Reaction?

On the heels of one horrific and unexpected death of a sports legend, all too soon, we were left wondering about immortality and life here and now.

We were not alone in this philosophical moment. Among the many testimonials to the life and energy of Kobe Bryant, we were struck by the heart-felt message of Boston Celtic Jayson Tatum. He posted a picture of himself, as a mere six-year-old with Kobe. His latest mentoring came only before the season began.

He is devastated and perhaps will be for the remainder of his days.

The second figure who jumped out of the plethora of sad comments were those by Tom Brady.

Perhaps they never met, but in all likelihood, they did. Legends have a way of crossing paths—even for a moment.

Brady now 42 is a year older than Kobe. He is still playing and Kobe had retired to spend time with his family.

Talk has centered on Brady’s free agency—leaving New England, finding big money, and starting anew and renewed. Yet, now, we wonder if he saw photos of Kobe with his daughter who also died in that senseless crash.

If any incident can alter the future, this one may have an impact on Brady. He had dismissed retirement—but now it looms as the omen, augur, and warning. He too has a small daughter. He too is sacrificing time with them to play his game.

Now, he may have come to the crossroads with Kobe again. Should Brady retire and spend time with his children, not knowing what the future will offer him?

That serious and sobering thought may now be weighing heavily on another legendary sports star.

Tom Brady Not Ready for Prime Time

DATELINE: The Arrogance Game

Rodin's thinkerThe Thinker, Fan-Version

If you are among the throngs (yeah, millions for defense, but not one fan for tribute) who await the final episode of the Tom Brady self-congratulatory TV series called Tom Versus Time, you have to wait longer.

It appears Tom and his producer Gotham Chopra have to scrap the final episode and come up with a new one. They finished the series with Tom winning the Super Bowl. Reality bites. His team lost, though he came close to pulling it out, but horseshoes is not football.

You may see a pattern of arrogance in the series that denotes Tom Brady as a wise, old philosopher, on the lines of another problematic Bostonian, Henry David Thoreau.

Gotham Chopra self-admitted their problem with a statement that puts a smiley face emoji on the situation. “Everyone keeps asking me about Chapter 6 of ‘Tom vs Time’ and when it’s going to be ready. The truth is we had a plan, but unconsciously, it was tied to the Pats winning the Super Bowl and, when that didn’t happen (congrats, Eagles!), I felt like we needed to pause and recalibrate.”

Yeah, losing’s a bitch. Having to re-interview Tom Brady for an hour to find bon mots is not pleasant. They had to re-calibrate Tom’s happy-go-lucky philosophy with a reality check. That’s the unfortunate side of “reality TV.”

Chopra ends his emoji apologia with: “So, Chapter 6 — ‘Coming Soon!'”  It sounds like the next chapter of Batman.

We actually would like to see the pre-Super Bowl, arrogant, mad-as-a-hatter Tom Brady. but that episode will be lost forever to history.  Please Note: we said  hatter, to all you haters who have trouble reading.

Obligation for Tom Brady to Pass Along a Reward

DATELINE:  Super Bowl Hero Revealed

dylan wagnerWho’d guess that Tom Brady’s most important fan lived in Seattle, home of the Seahawks?

It just goes to show that Patriots Nation is indeed a national group. The biggest hero of two Patriot Super Bowls is 19, fresh-faced, and deserving of some true Patriot appreciation.

Dylan Wagner is a lifelong fan of the Pats and a collector of memorabilia in his young life, as he is accomplished as a teenager.

He belongs to a collector network that often shares its prizes with each other online. Indeed, a Mexican journalist named Ortega proudly sent Dylan photos of his Super Bowl 49 Brady jersey.

At the time Dylan thought nothing of it because Tom Brady never went public with the theft of his Seattle Super Bowl jersey.

Ortega never explained to the young man how he came by the shirt.  In fact, only when the SB LI jersey went missing and was valued at $500,000, did the info come out that the other blouse was also stolen.

As Dylan counts an ATF agent as one of his friends in Boston, who also collects, he shared the story about Brady’s jersey, providing authorities with a big lead.

The ATF agent contacted the FBI—and the rest is Super Bowl trivia history. So, you can discount the Texas Rangers riding to the rescue. You can laugh off the idea that the NFL security forces did their job.

No, it came down to a vigilant and personable Patriots fan on the other coast who solved the riddle.

We strongly urge that someone whisper in Tom’s ear that he needs to send an autographed jersey to Dylan Wagner post-haste. Bob Kraft ought to be sending a couple of tickets to the opening game of the season to this honorary Patriot.


Brady & Gronk Chase Their Tales

DATELINE:  Dumb Opening Acts

 re-stolen jersey

When an aging 40-year old superstar QB chases down a superstar tight end coming off back surgery, you have the potential for a Super Nova.

This is the kind of tale told when you sit around a campfire and explain it to your grandchildren at the end of the 21st century.

In space terms, that’s one Big Bang.

If you see stars falling out of Super Bowl LII, you may think Belichick’s mantra of “One More,” could take on all the elements of Greek tragedy.

If you like your bangs with medical accoutrements, you may be in a body cast up to your earlobes with a cast of super stupid stars.

Instead of the Alpha, jock humor will be the Omega of the Patriots firmament.

Many fans, and Bob Kraft too, must have looked aghast upon the Great Chase of Brady after Gronk who re-stole the infamous Super Bowl jersey. Only Bob Kraft saw millions of dollars going down on the Fenway short right field.

If you want to steal the fire from heaven, you could end up in Hades.

The last time we saw a chase like this, it was in a Buster Keaton silent film about the Civil War called The General. The old locomotive went into the drink—and that was that.

Imagine losing your two biggest NFL stars at an MLB ceremony. It would be like Hertz giving Avis a bunch of flat tires. If you want to kick the tires on Brady and Gronk, you might wonder how they manage to run the field when Tony Romo retires the same day at a median of their ages owing to injury.

On the other hand, you might like the feistiness of the young pup Brady, having discovered his second childhood, and the quick, nimble recovery of a man prone to back pain. You may like to live dangerously.

Fortunately, the Great Fenway Chase was about as scripted as a Three Stooges skit about a week back.

Belated April Fools in Boston

DATELINE: Weird Sports & Fake News


April in Boston sports is a dubious time for the most part. For example, this past weekend the city dodged a springtime snowstorm. And, we are preparing for a spate of human interest stories centering on Boston Marathon bombing survivors.

Yet, Opening Day for the Red Sox was pleasant—and all the dubious elements converged on Fenway Park.

We weren’t sure what would arrive and when.

Take, for instance, Gronk who’d been in Florida where he incensed football fans by jumping into the middle of a wrestlemania match, jeopardizing his bad back.

The Lombardi Trophy under the care of the Patriots again found itself involved in a storm related accident in Maine over the weekend, where Bambi’s descendant met an untimely end.

Tom Brady’s stolen Super Bowl jersey was returned from international intrigue and media duplicity in time to show up for the Red Sox to inspire them.

And, we aren’t even mentioning the former Patriot who was not at the game because he was in a courtroom being tried for murder.

However, almost all was good. Brady and owner Bob Kraft were there with the QB ready to throw out the First Pitch of the season with a check for $14million in his back pocket, his latest lump earnings for football work.

Then, as Brady held up his jersey at the game for the crowd’s edification, a purse-snatcher ran past and grabbed the shirt. Not to worry: it was only the mentally challenged Gronk into his latest lunacy.

Like a Wrestle-mania performance, we suspect this was staged. Brady had to chase down his tight end to retrieve the jersey before 40,000 fans in ecstasy.

Oh, by the way, the Red Sox won the game. It’s never easy to write humor blogs in Boston.













Tom Brady & Deer Hunter

DATELINE: Super Bowl LI Trophy Kills One

Brady & Deer Hunter  Brady & Killer Trophy

Not one day after Tom Brady received a $14 million signing bonus, delayed money from the past season, he found himself almost the 20th ranking, lowly paid quarterback in the NFL.

Brady made no allusion to his windfall on his Instagram account, but rather took a shot at the liberal, anti-Trump Boston Globe with a picture of their too early headline flub at the Super Bowl. Brady cited “hashtag fake news” as part of his April Fool joke.

Yes, self-righteous and incorrect Globe had put out an edition, reading, “A bitter end.”  Of course, the Pats won that game with its historic comeback.

Brady obviously has a copy of the errant Globe—and like Harry Truman holding up a newspaper showing his defeat to Tom Dewey, Brady is lambasting the Globe on the Fool’s Day for little faith in the Patriots.

Yet, the high price of the NFL for the Patriots reached its zenith on April Fool’s Day when a major, late-season snow storm hit New England. It was a day when we covered it all: snow, deer hunting, Trump, fake news, Aaron Hernandez, and the Lombardi trophy.

The coveted and prized Lombardi trophy that Brady held high at the Super Bowl Victory Parade in Boston a scant few weeks ago, in a raging snowstorm, met an untimely accident in Maine.

Yes, a Patriot security guard, and a Maine State trooper, were involved in taking the trophy to its public appearance on Saturday. Alas, another state mascot came to a bitter end when the car carrying the trophy struck the deer. Oh, dear, the deer is no more.

The Patriot trophy is now emulating killer Aaron Hernandez.

All involved were more worried that the car accident in Maine might delay the trophy from its next big pit stop at Fenway Park on Monday. It is scheduled to make an appearance at Opening Day.

No word if any Patriots ever show up with the trophy or whether it reserves its own life, even at the cost of wildlife.







Shirts Off Tom Brady’s Back

parade-6 T

DATELINE:  Shirtless in Houston

The louse who took time Brady’s blouse has been caught.  The Mounties get their man, and so apparently do the FBI. It appears that the thief is from below the border with real journalist credentials.

Hats off to the guys who found the shirts off Tom.

What’s worse, he seems to be a serial jersey swiper. FBI reportedly found the missing game jersey Tom wore in 2015 with its 2017 counterpart.

In an age when the FBI is investigating Russian ties to President Trump and Russian hacking of the recent presidential campaign of Hillary Clinton, Hoover’s minions have found time to solve the biggest sports mystery of the century.

It also and apparently pays to have friends in high places. This could be the biggest triumph of the Trump administration so far. It’s been a month since somebody put their mitts on Tom Brady’s half $1 million blouse—and we have answers before we have evidence that Obama bugged Trump. (Well, he bugs Trump every day.)

Brady’s stolen jersey is a victim of international intrigue. We aren’t sure whether to blame Goldfinger or Jason Bourne. It used to be that you had Interpol going after international jewel thieves, but today the James Bond mentality lives among our local law-enforcement.

The FBI has found Tom’s jersey on “foreign soil. ” No doubt, it was soiled too.

Our first suspicions went to the culprit of Bob Kraft Super Bowl ring, which was taken by Vladimir Putin in Russia several years ago. Now suspicion falls again on the Kremlin, or their minions. Did the Russian mob pull a bag job? Did they farm the crime out to the Mexican drug cartel?

We suspect Trump will say we need a wall more than ever, not to keep aliens out but to keep Tom Brady’s equipment in.

That two Brady blouses were discovered means that we have an organized and serial criminal operation that loots the bounty from the sacred locker rooms of America. This is worse than terror; it is sacrilege.

We expect to see President Trump holding the recovered blouse and handing it to Brady at a press conference soon. Right now Trump needs all the positive publicity he can find.

Tom Brady Despised in Denver

DATELINE:  Isaiah Thomas Unrecognized in Denver

Thomas & Tom 

Tom Brady was not there at the Celtics game in Denver against the Nuggets, but received a hostile reaction worthy of being in green pajamas.

According to hothead star Isaiah Thomas, Brady sent him a tweet that stated it’s your turn next after that improbable Super Bowl LI victory. He also sent Thomas an autographed #12 shirt that Thomas wore to a Patriots game earlier.

Wore it?? Doesn’t he know that Tom’s blouses are worth half a million bucks?

Failed Celtic leader Thomas this week said his boy wonder coach, Brad Stevens, was guilty of “experimenting” late in the season.

Forget the circumstance that two star starters were out, injured. Thomas joins the list of so-called team leaders with such an attitude. He was spoken to by head honcho Danny Ainge for his disrespectful air.

So, it goes without saying that his leadership is not inspiring away-game fans. So, in Denver last night, they posted a photo of Tom Brady on the jumbo screen and encouraged the fans to boo the Celtics.

We recall that Tom did join a Celtics recruitment delegation last summer to try to bring Kevin Durant to Bean Town. It failed. But, Tom seems to have won a few dedicated fans among Celtics players like Isaiah Thomas.

What a shame that Thomas cannot inspire the opposition as a foil and bad guy. For that you need to bring in images of Brady, physically not at the game, and not even at a Celtics game this season in Boston—so far.

Tom may be waiting for those playoffs next month. Bill Belichick was at a game recently (there to meet LeBron James apparently).

In the meantime, Isaiah Thomas still is looking for respect, though he seldom gives it.

Jerseygate: Tom Brady’s Stolen Game Shirt

 DATELINE: Case Closed?

putin  Memorabilia Collector

In practice, Tom Brady’s #12 jersey is always red. That means you can’t tackle him, or hit him, or breathe on him if you have a cold.

The white game jersey he wore in the Super Bowl has been infamously reported as stolen. However, now, unconfirmed reports, aka fake news, are indicating the Texas Rangers have hit a great wall in their investigations.

No, not the Trump border wall: the evidence wall.

Cynics who decry the Patriots as cheaters have contended that a teammate of Tom took the jersey for his own aggrandizement. And, now, without an obvious lead, the story may die—unless a new theory proves accurate.

Tom ought to call Interpol about famous Patriot collector Putin.

Texas Ranger detectives claim now that the jersey was packed, quickly and unceremoniously by an unknown party, into an equipment truck that is not yet unloaded in Foxboro.

Can the Sherlockian case of the Missing Jersey already be solved? It would not be the first time a mysterious situation is being handled “in house” as they usually say.

If the truth is embarrassing and undercuts the legendary camaraderie of the team, you can bet your #12 Bobblehead that the culprit’s mea culpa will never reach the media.

It seems a violation of the natural gas law to discover Tom’s jersey disappeared into thin air.

When the story of a $500,000 sweat-equity jersey goes into lockdown, you know someone has buried the evidence.  When the mealy-mouthed media grow silent, and the Texas Rangers bail out, you know this case is closed.

Boston Holds Massive Trump Rally

DATELINE:   Not an Anti-Trump Protester Seen


A million New Englanders came out in deplorable weather to cheer on the Patriots during the Victory Parade.

There was no evidence of an anti-Trump backlash among fans, despite the claims of wayward Clinton supporters in the weeks before the Super Bowl.

Gronk, of course, stripped down to the waist and rode through the streets of Boston. If Paul Revere had done this, there would have been three lanterns in the church steeple.

Fans did not wait to see the whites of Roger Goodell’s eyes before firing. The subtle and not-so-subtle shots at the NFL commissioner were omnipresent—from Tom’s “Roger That” T-shirt on his duck boat, showing a fifth ring on the middle finger.

Gronk later led the raspberry cheers against Goodell in a Providence, Rhode Island, party.

The victory in Houston, in its miraculous and stunning movie end script, has emboldened Patriots and fans to call for the firing of Goodell.

A few diehards now speculate that Tom’s stolen game jersey was taken at the orders of Goodell.  Roger, that.

In related news, there is now a movement to start the quest for #6 in the Lombardi series. Belichick led the clarion call at Boston City Hall by exclaiming, “No Days Off!” in his best coaching style.

The catch-phrase “One more,” has indeed caught on. Gronk told fans he wanted to be there for another championship. At this point, all those free agents may want to take a home field discount to stay in New England.

Usually teams lose one-third of their players from champion year to the next. They also lose the flavor that brought them to the Super Bowl. It may be interesting to see how this plays out.

As Gronk said, they gave Matt Ryan the gift of “Trey Flowers.”  Yes, they said it with Flowers.

One wag from the Clinton camp tweeted how confused he was by the rolling rally, “Is the Queen of Narnia visiting?”

Fake News & Real Champs

FORTHCOMING BOOK on 2016 New England Patriots

Available on as ebook for smart readers and in paperback for traditional readers!


We never expected our Patriot diary would be more than another exercise in Tomfoolery.

When we began recounting episodes on and off field in the summer of 2016, we had a glimmer of hope that Tom Brady might show his resolve toward the unfair treatment by the NFL and its suspension of him by winning ruthlessly.

We never imagined it would end like a Rocky movie.

Here is our datebook with high and low burlesque, funny and mean-spirited parody, all the ups and downs of a season of football with a group of disparate athletes moving toward one staggering goal.

In a way, this compendium of oddball exploits and commentaries will always return us to the memories of a season begun in adversity and ending in glory.

Like any comic book, this tale has superheroes and nasty villains. There is much stuff here of the Patriots with feats of clay. However, the ultimate measure will be chiseled in marble by the memories of fans.

Let us start this fairy tale with the immortal words….

“Once upon a time in a football galaxy near Foxboro….”roger-brady