Oak Island Progress Report, Season 6

DATELINE: Episode 8, Unearthed

cpt kidd gold filling Captain Kidd’s Gold Filling?

With another episode in the sixth season of Curse of Oak Island, it is unquiet on every front. There appeared to be much progress made after so many years of tedium.

However, the onerous tones of narrator Robert Clotworthy appear to have amped up: reminding us more cynically that the entire premise of the show is that someone else, a seventh victim, must die soon. Forget that a teenage son of one investor has already passed away and this season an old woman researcher died and left her materials to Rick.

The unseemly curse of death is an appalling and fearful assertion, akin to something Trump might say to keep the government closed. We almost expect one of these weeks to have a group vote, in the style of Shirley Jackson’s “The Lottery,” to occur and to witness someone being stoned to death by the rest of the fed-up community.

In short, you know there was progress this week because the big guns (the old guys with the money) took center stage again, pushing out the next generation. No, teenie-bopper Peter Fonetti and heart-throb Alex Lagina were not to be seen; they are usually billed as “producers” of the series, a real laugh riot notion. The youngest stud on the block is Jack Begley, a tireless worker of every grunt duty.

The Lagina Brothers took center stage. If there is to be a discovery, even the affable Gary Drayton must accede to their primogeniture, but he has his own website. Dave Blankenship has been rendered redundant, even as comic relief.

Oh, there seems to be something with Roman numerals emerging from the muck at Smith Cove as Dan Blankenship said 50 years ago. Yes, there is some kind of light laser ready to read the mysterious and long-missing “90 foot stone.”

And Laird Nivens has secured permits from the Canadian government with alacrity after years of stalling on most other points. Big money talks big.

But, please, we feel like we are living paycheck to paycheck on Oak Island, despite finding someone’s gold filling this week.

Whether we can live with all this progress or be shot down sometime before the latest season ends, only the Laginas can tell: there is tighter security about their findings of the summer of 2018 than you find at the Mexican border.

Which reminds us, all these interlopers are violating the borders of Nova Scotia. They have been for a thousand years.

 

Tom Brady Wins the Lottery!

DATELINE: HUMOR!Image

                                          One Good W Deserves Another!

Surprise endings are nothing new in literature, and they worked again in the literature and lore of the New England Patriots.

Later in the night another bedtime tale would unfold with fans watching the Red Sox face the Lady of Victory or the Tigers. Which door would they open? David Ortiz chose the Big W over the man-eating Tigers.

At Gillette Stadium, the Patriots preferred to play Shirley Jackson’s “Lottery.”  It looked like Drew Brees had called Tom Brady’s number and TB12 was headed for the glue factory.

We have always had a lottery of victories in Gillette. At the end of the game, you can could on fans either throwing accolades or bric-a-bracs at the team.

This time Tom Brady made the Hunger Games look like a pale version of “The Lottery.” Once again, the hero was faced with untying the victim who was pinned to the railroad tracks by the sneering Sean Payton. Tom dismounted his steed with only seconds left before the locomotive ran over the Patriots’ season.

In this lottery, however, when you call TB12, you have Bingo!  When Tom called #85, you expected maybe Ochocinco or Brandon Lloyd to walk through that door and drop the ball.

Not this time! Kenbrell Thompkins (who?) showed up in his best uniform to step into the end-zone with nano-seconds left on the clock.

Tom Brady took the lemons of being on the tail end of a loss and made lemonade with a victory TD pass. The Saints came marching in like undefeated Thor and went out like they had been hammered on the head.