Tom the Biscuit Eater, Thanks to Grandmama

DATELINE:  Doughboy

Brady the Biscuit Eater

Count’em

GOAT QB Tom Brady has a revolt on his flour-encrusted throwing hand.

Having bragged about his grandmother’s secret recipe for biscuits on the Internet, he has unleashed a problem as big as Russian election interference for Trump.

Tom posted a photo of him making dozens of these tasty morsels. Apparently, he promised Gronk that he would bring some into the office next day. However, Tom reportedly told Gronk they were so good that they were all eaten.

This did not sit well with the giant tight end who demanded that Tom make another batch and bring them in to his favored receiver.

If not, Gronk promised “serious trouble.”

This international incident may require the intercession of Giselle or some other neutral party.

Tom can’t catch a break, nor a biscuit.

We know that close associates of Brady over the years, like Troy Brown, and lately Julian Edelman, have also been denied the treat of catching a biscuit from Tom’s larder.

Gronk has come a long way from the tongue-tied rookie who was dumbfounded when Tom would speak to him. He is now demanding his share of the Brady secret recipe—and he is not willing to settle for avocado ice cream or any other item from the TB12 cookbook.

Baseball may have the hot-stove dealings of winter, but for the man who always comes to the Brady household dressed as Santa Claus, the price may be more than one biscuit.

Tom may have to trade off with Gronk, giving him three TDs instead of slaving over a hot stove this weekend making a fresh batch of doughboy biscuits.

From Sunset Boulevard to New England

DATELINE: Gloria Swanson’s Late Career as Artist

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This year’s holiday treat was to discover a 1974 painting done by legendary screen actress Gloria Swanson, hanging in the parlor not far from our Thanksgiving dinner table.

If you recall, Miss Swanson made one of the all-time comebacks in movies when she starred in 1950 with William Holden in Billy Wilder’s classic tale of Gothic Hollywood, called Sunset Boulevard.

Her final scene remains chilling and pathetic, as she descends the grand staircase of her old Hollywood Hills home in final madness and tells the director, “I’m ready for my close-up, Mr. DeMille.”

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Who knew that nearly 25 years later, Norma Desmond was painting acrylic oil scenes as a hobby?

We encountered her 1974 rendition of an old, faded gray barn on this holiday 43 years after she painted it, hanging proudly in the home of an art collector and movie fan where we enjoyed an invitation to dinner.

How intriguing that the creative juices of Swanson, a macrobiotic diet advocate, emerged from this sad landscape. It is a giant picture, three feet in height and four feet across. The colors are muted, like a silent movie depiction.

Dilapidated in the snow, fallen in disrepair and probable despair, the old barn stands proudly alone. Its carriage door is ajar, broken open, letting whatever creature wanders by to enter its cold and empty interior.

It seemed to us to be a place along the “Road Not Taken,” that lovely poem by Robert Frost who lived a few miles away in New Hampshire. Miss Swanson presents us with a scene that comes right of out Thornton Wilder’s Our Town (which was also set a few miles away, in fictional Grover’s Corners).

Miss Swanson’s picture, painted while she lived in New York, a dozen years before she passed away, now has a special place in the home of a long-time fan. We think she would be happy to hear how much this work from the last days of her life, largely unknown, is appreciated.

We felt privileged to stand before it to reflect on life and the passage of time.