Ancient Aliens: One Big Commercial

DATELINE: A Barrel of Lunacy?

 Ubiquitous Travis.

We know that History Channel is utterly shameless in its promotion of other series on the channel. This week another show from the producers of the Oak Island treasure show will start their examination of Skinwalker Ranch.

So, of course, Ancient Aliens cannot let the opportunity pass without horning in on the sensation.

So, we have yet another hour-long commercial announcement for a new series from the producers of the Cure of Oak Island, and lo and behold, that old History Channel staple, Dr. Travis Taylor will be host.

UFOs. Weird creatures. Poisonous ground. “Disneyland of the Paranormal,” according to Giorgio. Skinwalker Ranch is named after an indigenous shaman who was Navajo. The natives were driven out in the 1860s by the U.S. military. Yep, we are talking about an evil force in the world. Not exactly the Creature from the Black Lagoon.

Heavily armed guards take care of the property. It sounds like Area 52.

Of course, Skinwalkers are tricksters too. They shapeshift into something else or even invisible and interdimensional. There is rock art in the canyons to show creatures from another world. Many drawings show them coming out of vortexes.

It’s also known as UFO Alley, so we have here a smorgasbord of paranormal treats. Fireballs fly overhead. There are 100s of reports.

Others have seen a Dire Wolf, which has been extinct for 10,000 years, likely meaning time and space is traversed.

Another weird billionaire, Robert Bigelow, bought the place to support his ET searching efforts. He put surveillance everywhere, including security. He won’t reveal his findings.

Ancient Alienstheorizes that there are rips in the fabric of space, allowing odd and dangerous things to enter.

Are there underground space portal bases? Bigelow bailed for unknown reasons. Well, everything is there except the kitchen sink, but maybe the new series will show us that.

 

 

Shapeshifting Shifts Ancient Aliens

DATELINE: UFOs & Dracula 

 Dracula’s Church?

Can it be an accident that History Channel has a new series starting about shapeshifters? And, just by coincidence, Ancient Aliens devotes a show to the bizarre suggestion that visiting aliens have now taken new forms to hide among us! Isn’t that a bad sci-fi movie from a decade ago?

They can become bats like vampires! Or they can pretend to be your family member. These legends seem to have a new connection to shapeshifters from another planet!  Oi vey.

This does give us a chance to see Travis Walter again: you know the famous missing person from Fire in the Sky. He claims the aliens shifted their looks to calm him down during his abduction.

Human looking extra-terrestrials? This is a shapeshifting conspiracy theory. These spies are a new version of a Fifth Column. Ancient Aliens says this is a historical idea right out of your favorite Bible. These changes in “gods” like Zeus want to fool some of the people all of the time.

Yes, shapeshifting is the new date drug. They show up to make time with those babes on the Florida beaches.

This is not hypnosis, but technology—according to our favorite Giorgio. And this technology is the best trick since Halloween extracted candy from neighborhood households. These are your trickster gods.

The greatest shapeshifter from another dimension is the octopus with his multi-brains with weird DNA from another planet. Not indigenous?Oi vey!

Yes, even the cloaking device from Star Trek is a kind of shapeshifting. They also trace the jinn to the Koran—and now we find out that Barbara Eden in I Dream of Jeanniewas a shapeshifter.

Even more interesting, a painting of a UFO over Dracula’s hometown church is 700 years old. Fee-Fi-fo-fum, these creatures eat blood. That’s not all:  the Wolfman, half-man and half-wolf at the full Moon is right out of your UFO.

If you are confused, maybe Ancient Alienshas turned into Skinwalker Ranchbefore our eyes!  Yup, Nick Pope can barely keep a straight face while shifting his shifty argument.