Oak Island: Curtains to Curses

DATELINE:  Weekly Update #3

Rick lagina

Time for Just for Men?

As season five progresses, the series Curse of Oak Island seems in jeopardy.

From the off-season storms that decimated roads and other parts of the island, to the tragic death of the 17-year old son of Craig Tester we have had already sufficient warnings and dire omens.

The latest episode begins optimistically enough with the discovery of coins from the 1600s in a pile of dirt uncovered 60 years ago and never searched with a metal detector. We almost feel that the show will conclude successfully this season.

However, the good news became muted when the Canadian government sent a “cease and desist” letter to the Lagina operation, claiming they were vandalizing cultural artifacts after five years of digging.

After 400 years of hunters and hiders tunneling and bulldozing, and ravaging the little Nova Scotian island, this johnny-come-lately interference from some nitwit cultural ministry of do-gooders seems a day late and a dollar short.

In order to assuage the governmental cretins, the Lagina brothers agreed to hiring an archeologist to oversee their work. He promptly stops their digging when they overturn tree stumps and find indications of an old settlement.

We thought the troglodytes of do-good deeds only hid in the bowels of the US government, but the virus has spread to Canada’s guts for real adventure.

Rick Lagina seems crest-fallen. He might have to take that job with Just for Men for Beards. His jet-black hair mismatches his white beard—and he could make a fortune coloring both for an endorsement contract. He can draw on a big gay market, based on the number of people who ask us to find out if he’s gay.

Our other solution is far simpler. We suggest that Rick Lagina sacrifice himself by jumping head first into the Money Pit. This will end the curse instantly by giving the Island its seventh victim and reveal the treasure instantly—in our humble opinion.

 

 

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Not Much Ado on Oak Island S5, E2

DATELINE: Slow-Going

heartthrob Alex Lagina

Heart-throb Alex Lagina

At this point, the biggest curse of Oak Island may be its tendency now to catalogue every tiny point, ad nauseum. As a result, even the Lagina Brothers are having a hard time showing enthusiasm for minor details that would have sent them into ecstasy two or three years ago.

So, when Gary Drayton finds a bit of coin from the 1600s, they smile and try to muster exuberance, but the big fish still eludes them.

If the second show of the season had any excitement, it was in the dating of a large spike found 170 feet below the surface. If it dates to the 1600s, it might be part of the original Money Pit. Who put it there and why remains elusive.

At a local university on Nova Scotia, the brothers and their partner take the spike to a couple of metallurgist professors who put it under a microscope.

Sure enough, the spike is of the type manufactured in the 17th century. Small steps lead them to the firm belief that there is something hidden on the island that was not “officially’ settled until the late 1700s when treasure hunters descended upon Oak Island.

Heart-throb Alex Lagina takes a side-trip to a descendant of one of the land-owners in 1788 renders a dull search of a sea chest with papers stowed away that indicate the captain of the Betsy was charged with treason by Virginia’s Governor Thomas Jefferson before he became President.

The other tie-in is that we have yet another member of the Masonic Temple, which always leads to the next jump of logic that he must be tied into the Illuminati, the Knights Templar, and in on the secret of Oak Island.

On top of that, continued drilling causes tunnels to flood, yet again, like in so many previous searches over two centuries. The treasure hunters have grown accustomed to the delays and set-backs.

We are not sure if the audience will continue to exercise patience at the snail’s pace.

Curse of Oak Island: Season 5, Starting Gun

DATELINE: On the Money

oak island

Our cruel skepticism has been dumped on its head into the Nova Scotian Bay of Fundy. The Curse of Oak Island is back–and better than ever.

As Season Five opens with the death of young Drake Tester, off Oak Island of some unfair seizure, the pall of mortality hangs on everyone—from 94-year-old Dan Blankenship to the younger generation of treasure hunters. Young men of good character are not supposed to die before old, cynical adventurers.

Yet, this season on the show, there is finally something tangible and within grasp. We are still left with anguish over the enterprise that boasted a seventh person had to die to solve Oak Island’s mystery. The Lagina brothers never expected the youngest of their treasure hunters would be the one.

In the meantime, safety went to the forefront with the notion of sending a diver down 170 feet into a small shaft. With the bends and hypothermia likely dangers, the diver nearly exceeded his safety limits. It made for dramatic reality television, but also made obvious how the obsession for treasure is dangerous.

Metallurgist Gary Drayton, Australian expert, found another artifact that could be as much as 400 years old on an island no inhabited back then—making this season compelling television viewing.

The two-hour premiere seemed to be the most professional in the history of the search. This gives the quest some highly charged foreshadows.  However, at the end of the night, as it has for all their efforts, technology fails for reasons unknown. Call it a curse.

Whatever Oak Island is hiding, it has a deep and abiding reluctance to reveal itself to the nosy eyes of the camera—or to the adventuresome spirit of a team of adult “boys” as they call themselves.

We won’t miss an episode.

Oak Island Curses Postponed Till Next Season

DATELINE:  Finally!

oak-island

oak island

Eureka!   Or what passes for it on Oak Island. If you’re waiting for someone to die from the task of treasure hunting, tune in next season.

We have to offer our apologies again to the Lagina brothers of the reality show Curse of Oak Island. After four seasons, on the finale, they appear to have struck pay dirt, not mere payola from the ratings.

We don’t want to give away all the spoilers, but we can assure you that plenty of digging is left for another season.

Women finally showed up on Oak Island, and they proved to be most interesting.

In particular, we loved Dr. Lori, an archaeologist who knows her stuff from Penn State University. She brought good news on several occasions and brightened the show with her sharp energy. She dated material brought up from the dregs of 170 feet below the surface to the 1575 to the 1675 era.

It looks like Spanish galleon stuff stolen from Central American goldsmiths and lost empires.

You probably will get some pleasure out of seeing what they dig up after suffering many frustrating episodes over four years. We felt happy that the theories of 93-year-old Dan Blankenship have been supported –and he was there as a witness.

A few others, like Alex Lagina, son of Marty, were absent despite all his work for the past four years. And Marty goes all out to commend brother Rick if no one else will. Take that, you skeptical bloggers.

There’s nothing sweeter than self-congrats.

The amazing discoveries put a strong denial on our past charges of fake news.

Yes, it got quite interesting at the end of season four. We are left hanging from the yard-arm until next year, matey.

 

 

Apologies to Oak Island Treasure Hunters

 DATELINE: Revising the Original Review

 

Unlike a bad penny, the Oak Island treasure never turns up.

When last we reviewed Curse of Oak Island, we were in a less than kind mood. The onerous tones of the opening remain, telling us that six men have died searching for the pirate treasure in Nova Scotia. And legend insists that a seventh will die.

We now suspect the seventh victim will be the audience, dying of old age.

Yes, the show remains intriguing. We feel like an addict, called back to the bad stuff by enabler Rick Lagina.

The best parts of the show always are the detective work, often leading nowhere. Don’t let that stop you. But most of all, we enjoy the old-timers who were there 50 or 60 years ago—and still are caught up.

Dan Blankenship is now 93 years old, but is spry, witty, and the best part of the series. He lives on Oak Island and brings a unique perspective to the American searchers.

The Lagina brothers have always been smarmy, but this season Rick is overdone by his younger sibling. Once a tightwad, Lagina is now prepared to dump millions into digging up the money pit.

The show must be reaping more revenue than we suspected. The real treasure is cable TV ratings.

We must confess we are hooked. Bring on the snake oil. Show us another murky video of gold glimmering 150 below the surface. We have signed on for another season, enjoying it like a return to boyhood.

 

 

Oak Island Curses Viewers!

 DATELINE: Brothers Lagina Cursed

We stuck with The Curse of Oak Island for one more season.

It appears our faithful allegiance has not paid off—again. Maybe it’s just inadequate technology that fails us.

The ugliest truth we have discovered is that Rick Lagina, leader of the search and object of a fan club on Facebook, is an obtuse twit and former mailman who will stop at nothing to sate his delusional searching. His brother Marty is more down to earth, but even more secretive, though rumors circulate he is worth a couple of million bucks.

Treasure Hunter obsession has gripped many a man over 200 years at Oak Island, and we are not surprised to find someone willing to spend millions of dollars of other people’s money to continue his pointless search.

We do object to spending any more of our time.

This season noted diver John Chatterton, who has hosted many search shows of his own, went into the notorious 10x hole that other divers refused to attempt.

He returned with sour news: it was a natural hole with a naturally formed tunnel, a big rock, a metal pipe, a depression shadow that looked like a dead body—and absolutely no treasure.

That momentarily took the wind out of Rick Lagina’s sails. He looked like a man ready to punch Chatterton in the nose for his arrogance. He gave the intrepid diver a limp handshake and thanks for nothing.

As for us viewers, we were tossed a couple of hooks on which to bite: a tiny gold cross allegedly found at the Money Pit, but with no proof. And the walls of another hole, 170 feet down, seemed to be lined with a shiny gold.

Will that bring back disenchanted viewers next time?  Promise of something important!

We have revised our opinion of this show and the work done by the Lagina brothers. We hope they do find something of great significance.