Trump Wins Pedophile Voters

DATELINE: Well wishes for child molester!

 Trump & Dear Friend.

If he’s not encouraging assassins to shoot Obama appointees to the judiciary, President Donald Trump is sending his best wishes to accused pedophile procurers. His old friend Ghislaine is rotting in jail for procuring hundreds of girls for a sex ring with Jeffrey Epstein.

Yes, you heard him on national TV as he offered jailed Jeffrey Epstein co-conspirator his fondest (frankly) wishes for a bright future. You may wonder why. But Trump told us that too: he knew “them” in Palm Beach. They all lived there in cozy proximity.

Trump admitted he met “them” many times. So much for Clinton meeting them four times. Them, in case you are curious, usually refers to a couple or a married couple. Whatever Trump knows about their private lives, he knows Epstein and Ghislaine were a team.

He professed to know nothing about the pedophilia case involving hundreds of teenage girls. Yet, his Secretary of Labor was the prosecutor who let Epstein off the hook in Florida and was later rewarded by Trump with an appointment in the Cabinet.

When Azar resigned, he did so because of Jeffrey Epstein and mentioned it at a press conference with Trump standing next to him. Apparently, your POTUS has memory or mental acuity troubles.

A few fake investigative journalists like Mother Jonessaw nothing odd about this. We beg to differ (of course).

What dog whistle tune is he sending to Ghislaine Maxwell?  She is about to blow the whistle on Prince Andrew (Trump is like Sgt. Schultz, he knows nothing), and President Clinton. The third member of the jeopardized triangle is Trump.

He is sending best wishes to let Ghislaine know that a commutation is in the works if she keeps his name out of the shenanigans and felonies.

Oh, please, Trump has already commuted one felon (Roger Stone) and Ghislaine would sit pretty if she kept her mouth shut about certain famous, powerful people.

So, best wishes to child molesters from Trump. He needs their votes in the upcoming election. From Trump’s lips to every 14-year old victim.




Tom Brady for President

DATELINE: Voting Early & Often

For all those nay-sayers, Tom is old enough to be POTUS.

Others think he hasn’t a POTUS to plant flowers in. Sports fans probably don’t have a clue what a POTUS is, thinking it may be a Japanese flower floating in a pond.

No, Patriot fans who are not in the Tea Party, it means President of the United States. An acronym by any other name would still confuse American voters.

Yet, on primary Tuesday in New Hampshire, where we spent our holiday down the street from the Trump party headquarters in a local Manchester hospital while on a downhill slide, we can tell you that Brady’s support crosses all party lines.

Tom received bi-partisan support in the Granite State where they miss the treasured profile of the Old Man in the Mountain when he crumbled a few years back. Tom has shored up all parts of his face, and we do not expect him to crumble for decades.

Brady’s bi-partisan support does not mean he pulled in the transgender vote to all you sports fans who don’t follow politics. And, no, he does not go both ways–only toward the goal.

Like his mentor Donald Trump, Brady doesn’t have to pour his wife’s billion into a race. Apparently he spent nothing and received two votes in the Democratic ballot—and two more on the Republican ballot. Yes, there are literate write-in voters in New Hampshire.

Someone up there isn’t doing his homework. Tom went to the State of the Union as a guest of President George W. Bush a few years back and is perceived as a Republican among pass receivers.

However, this is good news and an omen for the future of Brady’s political aspirations. Tom crosses all lines, especially in the red zone and in red states.