Unreal Men in Black

DATELINE: Ancient Aliens Goes Black 

We did not expect a hard-hitting look at the legendary Men in Black,subject of a couple of ridiculous comedy movies with Will Smith among others.

Ancient Alienstackles the topic to give us a history of the encounters—and how they grew from one black-suited man of some unknown government agency—to a plethora of sunglassed, fedora-hatted scary figures who seem to be on the side of space men.

The usual raft of Ancient Alienexperts show up to comment on this topic. From Nick Pope to Mike Bara (who goes on assignment to Maury Island where the first man in black showed up in the 1940s).

You will also meet Paul Hynek, son of Dr. J. Allen Hynek, now listed as a consultant on Project BlueBook tv series. AA also uses clips from that other History Channel show.

What is intriguing is that these imposing and intimidating figures seem to go after the nobodies who see UFOs. They never pay a visit to the journalists, investigators, or leaders of the UFO movement. Not one host/narrator of Ancient Alienshas met a man in black, apparently not even one pretending to be in a fedora. The episode calls these mystery figures “The Real Men in Black.”

What respectable villain would appear in anything other than black, unless he likes to pretend to be a gray.

Are they official government agents? It’s not confirmed in early FBI documents. They did not work for J.Edgar.

A piece of the crashed ship (not another one) was destroyed in a plane crash with investigators who were killed. Twenty years later a piece was located on site in Maury Lake, but has never been tested (inexplicably).

Of course, this leads to conclusions that the Men in Black are either extra-terrestrials or working with top secret human agents. They now use black helicopters and may be using technology to wipe memories from the public consciousness.

Who can recall what happened back then?

 

 

Knicks Faint at Graveside of Celtics

 

DATELINE: HUMOR!

 

The New York Knicks have a macabre sense of humor, with all the players arriving at Madison Square Garden dressed in black. They looked like that little Dickens of a David Copperfield leading a funeral procession.

 

We almost expected to hear Johnny Cash’s tune, “Man in Black,” instead of a national anthem. We fully believed Tommy Lee Jones would show up with an alien zap gun.

 

Not to worry, clothes won’t make the winner, though the clothes of the winner may be a shade greener than verdant forest.

 

Whether the Knicks’ play would match their black hearts, only the minutes ahead would tell.

 

The Celtics looked like they were ready for the embalmer in the first quarter. They were stiffer than a brick off the backboard. It was Brandon Bass who single-handedly sent the pallbearers back to the hearse.

 

Like Elizabeth Taylor, the Celtics were ten minutes late for the funeral. Once the procession was underway, the Celtics caught up and ran away from the casket, but Paul Pierce started to look like a man without a eulogy.

 

Yet, New York’s spring night was similar to one Walt Whitman used to sing about when lilacs in the dooryard bloomed. The Knicks were dribbling Kevin Garnett more like the game were played in a dooryard.

 

Alas, the Knicks forgot something quite important about that dead as a doornail Celtic in the coffin: you have to put a stake in his heart.

 

The Celtic vampire has risen from the grave. And, the only garlic in town is on the breath of the Knicks.