Hope Diamond: 45 Carats & Down-graded

 DATELINE: Hopeless but Not Serious

Your Best Friend? Cold Ice!

The Smithsonian Channel ought to give us some interesting stuff to view. We anticipated that the Mystery of the Hope Diamond might be that bauble of historical documentaries. Instead, they try to debunk their own information.

Ostentatious beyond all blue diamonds, yet still mysteriously cut down after it was stolen in 1792, the Hope Diamond remains a big draw.  And that is despite its legendary curse.

Blue diamonds are considered the least happy for those who want a date with carbon facets. This one, purportedly, served as the eye of an Hindu goddess unceremoniously snatched by a thief.

Yes, like King Tut’s tomb, the Hope Diamond gives its owners a run for their lives, and their money. It cost Marie Antoinette her head as she so admired it.

There are gaps in its history—long disappearances—as we do not know who cut the diamond down to its present 45-carat size. It once weighed in at 70 big carats.

And we can’t say that fool who pared it down was toast soon thereafter. We presume so, based on this pedestrian documentary astutely narrated by Kim Basinger.

Of all the intriguing details that pop out of this 46-minute featurette, it is that in the 1960s, scientists discovered that ultra-violet light has a weird effect on the diamond:  causing it to glow in the dark like a red ember.

Size does not fit all curses: speculators think size makes the red shine last longer than most diamonds sitting in the dark after basking in ultra-violet light. Who knows when it comes to cursed stones?

The curse may take longer than six months to hit the owner, but when it does, look out. It’s a tough nut for sure, about the size of a cheap walnut.

Right now, the crown jewel of diamonds is housed in a bullet-proof and bomb-proof case at the Smithsonian, donated there by Harry Winston because you can’t get a good price for the damn thing on the market.

The Hope Diamond is named after a greedy banker named  Hope, not Bob, one of its cursed 19th century holders. It now is on display and has as many visitors as Mona Lisa every year. Look, but don’t own up to it.

The film falls on its own lightweight when it tries to prove the curse of the diamond is fake news. Their expert insists only old people (already apparently facing death) have expired upon owning it. This undercuts their own information about the young family members who were collateral deaths from ties to the diamond.

This diamond is nobody’s best friend.

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Rondo’s Famous Last Words

 DATELINE: HUMOR!

 Prof. Rondo

As Celtics star Rajon Rondo slowly sinks into the team’s worst season with him at the helm, we note that he is in illustrious company.

Some day in the future, the ghost of Rajon Rondo will show up at a training camp like the ghost of Jacob Marley. He will be dragging his baggage behind him in a great sweep of chains. He will tell some future captain of the team: “The Boston Celtics were my business,” when faced with saving some slug from himself.

Rondo has taken on the mantle of Marie Antoinette, and not just in fashion. He now walks a hard road in her sneakers: Told of the suffering of the Boston Celtics, Rondo responded: “Let them eat birthday cake!”

Surrounded by the media, besieged by the enemy, like a general in World War II, he has every reason to surrender and offer his apologies. Instead, he comments, “Nuts,” when asked what was sprinkled on his birthday cake.

Like Winston Churchill, he will give every last ounce of blood, sweat, and tears, to fight off the media. “We shall defend our right to eat birthday cake. We will fight them on the beaches. We will fight them at Chuck’E Cheese. We will fight them at the parties.”

Like Richard Nixon, Rondo is even now collecting an enemies list of those in the media who hound him. He plans to make a television appearance to announce, “There will be no whitewash of the white frosting at the birthday party.”

We just hope he won’t be quoted in a final bitter press conference saying, “You won’t have Rajon Rondo to kick around any more. I quit.”

He has even cried out, “Et tu, Brad Stevens!”

For more shockers about Rajon Rondo, you should read RAJON RONDO: SUPERSTAR and its companion piece RAJON RONDO & THE GREEN NEBULA. Both books are available at Amazon.com in ebook format for smart readers, as well as traditional softcover.

Rondo Lets Them Eat Birthday Cake

DATELINE: BIRTHDAY CANDLES

rondox2

Mother of Mercy, can this be the end of Rondo?

The mercurial Boston Celtics star Rajon Rondo was not scheduled to play in the back-to-back game in Sacramento.

It was also his birthday. So, as the logic goes, he decided to skip the team flight and stay in Los Angeles to celebrate his natal day.  If you are looking for logical explanations, you might be advised to avoid NBA point guards.

RondoBulksUp More birthday cake, please!

Talk about being born yesterday!  Rondo seemed oblivious to any kind of issue with his skipping the jet jump up the California coast.

Like Marie Antoinette facing the guillotine, Rondo told the assembled media in regard to his teammates, “Let them eat birthday cake.”

Rondo has always been an advocate of noblesse oblige, which may be a term too fancy for Celtics fans and parvenu media members. We use the royal “we” only slightly less than Rondo.

We don’t think Rondo sees himself as the Queen of Sheba, but many others now most certainly do.

If you want to create an atmosphere that greases the skids to the summer lottery and a trade to heaven knows where, Mr. Ainge, then Rondo is on his way.

Watch that first step, Rajon. It falls out of the captaincy and into oblivion.

Though Rondo saw the hullaballoo as a tempest in a teapot, Trader Danny Ainge was less trivialized. He plans on speaking to Rondo when returns to Boston. This is about serious as Ward calling the Beaver into his study.

We expect Rondo to be given forty lashes with a wet noodle, grounded for a week, and forbidden to read GQ magazine for a month. Ainge is a hard taskmaster.

Of course, the real punishment will be forthcoming when Rondo will be sent packing in the summer when the trades come fast and furious.

Be sure to read RAJON RONDO: SUPERSTAR to best follow the royal headaches suffered by Rondo at the hands of cruel fans. Available on Amazon.com for smart readers.