No Love for Rondo

 DATELINE: HUMOR

RondoLaughs

Now that it appears Kevin Love will ply his love interests elsewhere, the call to rid the team of the Rondo virus has grown bolder.

Rondo has never had a friend among the media. They would have traded him five years ago.

Now he cannot attract Love and that renders him useless in the eyes of the sports talk show blabbers. Rondo is about as unwanted as a love child.

Kevin Love’s decision to spurn Rondo’s love has been the last straw in the media Valentine selection process.

So, the ever-malcontent media wants to have a team in full dismantle to make way for more complaining. Aren’t the Red Sox stripped down enough? Shall we now add the Celtics to the mix?

The hungry for material media in Boston needs failure more than it needs success. If you have nothing to complain about, you have no complaints. And, the psychology of being a media blabber is the Minihane shuffle (referring to the troll at WEEI). You need to make trouble where none exists.

The Boston sports media is more fickle than a teenage girl, pondering what shoes to wear to the big day at the mall.

Rajon Rondo may well take his talents to some other venue, something akin to South Beach, but that would be sooner than later if the Danny Ainge haters have their way.

It has become a sad day when the biggest knocker of Rondo becomes his biggest defender. We like Rajon Rondo, and we don’t want to trade him for anything.

 

 

 

 

The Next Boston Celtics Banner is Hanging at the Ready

 DATELINE: HUMOR

 surf city

                                           Kevin Garnett’s Empty Home

Go, Northeast, young men.

Horace Greeley had it backwards. Horace Greedy wants all the money he can get.

LeBron James (about to have another turnabout turncoat summer) and Carmelo Anthony (of the rolling contract like a stone) could be looking for new homes.

Did anyone tell them that Kevin Garnett’s home on Golden Pond, a stone’s throw from Walden Pond is on the market?

Did anyone tell them that Kevin Love may be here? and that the only player to give Carmelo wet dreams is Rondo the corner?

We speak of that great metropolis where Leonardo di Caprio and Jack Nicholson have made movies. We speak of the Hub of the Universe—and no, it does not mean you have to play on Mars.

Boston has a plethora of money and draft picks to spread around the NBA. So, what keeps Lebron, Love, and Carmelo, from making Boston their new hometown?

With Rondo having nightly orgasms passing his balls around, the Celtics would surely have another banner tout suite.

Already the naysayers have said nay.

How many fingers can LeBron hold up to count Boston banners for NBA championships? Does he have as many fingers as Bill Russell?

Oh, Paul Pierce is thinking about another year or two, and he too has not yet sold his palatial Boston digs. There are enough bedrooms and bathrooms to let the James and Anthony families share the accommodations.

And, Paul could live there too as a landlord who is no longer absent.

Kevin Love Center of Boston Conspiracy!

DATELINE: CONSPIRACY THEORY

 Rondo Finds Love

When Kevin Love receives a game time meeting with Rajon Rondo at Fenway Park, a postgame meeting with Gronk of the Patriots, and receives an advice tweet on living in Boston from David Ortiz, you have the sense that a conspiracy is afoot.

Kevin Love was in Boston for one weekend, but he met with everyone except the Mayor. He didn’t get the key to the city, but he may have the keys to the kingdom—or at least a luxury condo next to Tom Brady’s digs on Commonwealth Ave.

Forget UFOs hidden by the U.S. government. The Boston Celtics are involved in one of the great conspiracies of our age. They intend to pull up the Brink’s truck next to the Timberwolves and steal Kevin Love.

Whitey Bulger may have been in cahoots with the FBI as an informant, but the Boston Celtics are in cahoots with Love’s agent.

If there is to be a conspiracy, you know that the Celtics will also sign the other major client of Love’s agent. His name happens to be Paul Pierce, and he is available for a return to Boston. His massive McMansion is on the market, but not yet sold. He could share it with Kevin Love if he doesn’t sell it to Love.OBAMA & ORTIZ

Last time the Celtics stole a Timberwolf off the endangered species listings, his name was Kevin Garnett. Danny Ainge is partial to signing men named Kevin.

As far as conspiracies go, when the New England weather cooperates with Love’s weekend visit by providing ideal conditions, you know that something big is happening behind the scenes.Gronky

Rondo Finds Love at Fenway Park!

Rondo Finds Love

DATELINE: MAGIC MOMENTS

 

On a lovely Sunday watching baseballs fly around Fenway Park, the Red Sox won their sixth game in a row after a losing streak of the century.

If you want magic, then Fenway is the place to be.

And, if you want to find redemption and a home for good luck, you amble over to Fenway.

There, Rajon Rondo found the Love of his life, a center who could bring respectability back to the Celtics.

Rondo hasn’t looked this happy since Kendrick Perkins used to scowl at him at practice after their traditional breakfast together every morning.

Rumors swirled that the meeting between superstars is merely the tip of the tryst to tie the knot with the Celtics.

Love is looking everywhere for truth and beauty. He may have found it, despite the unseemly hat that Rondo wore for the occasion.

Fashionista Rajon Rondo thought he might hide in camo, but felt the vibes and headed over to Fenway where he met with the center of his dreams. It was a handshake worthy of Churchill and Truman at Pottsdam.

It might even be reminiscent of young Bill Clinton meeting JFK at the White House.

The moment has been caught for all you Hallmark fans. Rondo looks Love-struck, though Love looks bewildered, bewitched, and bothered.

Yes, Kevin Love is available and the suitors are lining up like Penelope’s admirers while Odysseus was away at war games. When the Celtics send their secret weapon to Fenway Park, you know they mean business.

Whether Love turns out to be the hero of Rondo’s rebirth, only his agent knows for sure.

After a happy weekend in Boston, Love may have found digs worthy of a champion.

 

It’s finally out! The latest collection of Ossurworld’s portraits of Rajon Rondo and the Celtics. Now the final volume of the trilogy is available at Amazon.com in softcover and ebook. Be sure to check out RAJON RONDO IN THE STAR CHAMBER!

Celtics Find the Sixth Man in Lottery

DATELINE: HUMOR!

jelly O'SullyWe felt the draft, and it left us cold.

Celtics fans suffered an egregious seasonal loss for the lottery bonanza. Optimists are always cock-eyed, and as per usual, they couldn’t see straight. The lot of the lottery proved a ponderous loss.

The lottery night has arrived with its future writ big in the placement of “The Pick.”

As usual, the Celtic luck stinks. Fans and organization people could not make lemonade out of this lemon. The worst the Celtics could fare on their pick was eight.

They were awarded six.

The sixth man is a famous figure off the bench. And, the Celtics now will have a shot at the Sixth Man. That means the Celtics will be looking for an adjective, not a noun. And certainly they will not receive a proper noun. That goes to the ever-deserving Cleveland Cavaliers.

We suspect they will choose badly as usual.

So, the Celts may actually have a fifth pick.

Of course, knowing Danny Ainge, the Celts may have no pick. He will trade this loser slot for a tried and true player whose free agency is around the corner.

Dare we fall in Love with Kevin?

The T-Wolves are way back in the back with this year’s selection, and to them, six will look positively enchanting. They may be willing to move Kevin Love to rise to the second tier.

In the meantime, we feel that anyone who thought the Celtics would receive the first choice of the draft has not studied history.

We were surprised the Celtics tortured season did not end with greater disappointment. That may yet come.

 

Kevin Love Is in the Air

DATELINE: HUMOR

 LOVERLY

Wouldn’t it be loverly?

With the Red Sox facing the longest losing streak they have suffered in two years, fans are turning their lonely eyes back to the NBA draft and the Boston Celtics.

Kevin Love reportedly wants out of Minnesota. Trading for Love will mean Love’s labors will not be lost to Boston fans, according to Celtics braintruster Danny Ainge.

If lightning ever was meant to strike the same place twice, Boston is a good location for a repeat at the TD Garden. Kevin Garnett came from Minnesota half-dozen years ago to lead an instant rebuilding to championship season.

Love could mean the sorry days of waiting for a return to glory will be on the doorstep. Fans need a Love Childe. Wouoldn’t it be Loverly, especially for Rondo?

However, Garnett had two other major players as his starring chesspieces. Kevin Love in Boston would be centering Rajon Rondo with the power forwards of Jelly O’Sully, better known as Kelly Olynyk and Jared Sullinger.

Is that enough?

Well, Celtics fans will tell you that there are plenty of other draft picks in the Celts system.

All depends on the Tuesday draft position. Location, location, location, will tell the Celtics who their savior-to-be will be.

It will not do to recruit Kevin Love and trade away Kelly and Sully, or even Rondo. All must be woven in the multi-layered coat of many victories.

Love’s agent is also Paul Pierce’s agent. We should not be surprised to see a return of the native Celtics star, now toiling in Brooklyn where one growing tree is the only shade.

Signing Kevin Love means never having to say you’re sorry to fans.