Civil War Gold Returns to Pan Again

DATELINE: Glittery Start

Daddy's Boy
Daddy’s Boy?

Has History Channel no end to the depths to which it will sink? Apparently not, as The Search for Civil War Gold is back on the air for another season.

As if to sweeten the leprechaun’s pot at the end of the rainbow, they have added Alex Lagina as a catnip to fans of Curse of Oak Island. His millionaire old man (Marty Lagina) is bankrolling this series, of course.

They are also trotting out Gary Drayton as a guest star, to bring the full-force of the Oak Island influence to another series. It won’t hurt to throw the two most popular figures from the other series into the pot of gold.

Trying to overcome the bad habits of the first season may be an interesting exercise. A three-ring circus may be a good way to deflect and to misdirect. It works for Trump.

Curse of Civil War Gold has hooked us immediately as the stars of last season, Kevin Dykstra, picks up the newest addition:  Alex Lagina. He will now serve as the lynchpin.

You could not ask for more: handsome, charming, and with 50million bucks in the bank. We are now on board. Be still, all those beating fan hearts.

There has been a bit of hostility and passive-aggression from Kevin Dykstra and his brother over the fact that Marty Lagina has kidnapped their “baby” project.

However, without Lagina’s money, they’d be nowhere and with a theory they could not prove.

Then, with the onerous tones of Robert Clotworthy bringing sequelitis to this Curse of Civil War Gold followup to Oak Island.

Dykstra makes a snide comment about Lagina trusting “one of his children” to look after the investment. We aren’t sure how Alex will react to being labelled a child.

Alex is the new star of the show, so move aside all you middle-aged, paunchy amateurs. Right away, Alex shows he is in charge by bringing in a noted underwater archaeologist, which the others gush over (later they sneer at how college professors always get it wrong).

Alex also shocks them with providing a luxurious boat to do their diving from: they clearly have never had it this good, and suddenly are humbled.

Dykstra struts, “Marty’s really paying off…” Yes, literally. That’s why he can take over the show and make his son the new focus.

Of course, these guys cannot do salvage work without a permit—and it again takes Marty Lagina to work out the legalities. When that’s done, Alex announces he will head the dive team.

The show also opened up by hinting that the Confederate gold was hijacked by Jefferson Davis, Jesse James, and John Wilkes Booth. Hmmm. Okay, we’ll come back to hear more of this.

Ancient Aliens Back in 2010, Season 1

DATELINE: New Episodes On the Horizon!

 hair  Yes, Giorgio!

Nibiru, the X planet, is allegedly on the horizon and ready to cause consternation again later this week. And, with a new season of Ancient Aliens coming up on the rising of a new moon, we decided to take a look at one of the first season episodes from 2010.

Do the old Ancient Aliens hold up to the universal change of the skies? We looked into our radio telescope and crystal ball.

The answer is sort of.

The third show of the series in 2010, entitled “The Mission,” had all the hoopla you’ve come to expect. Alas, the ninety-minute show was all over the map, taking us from Peruvian gold among the Nazcar Lines to Anunnaki control of the Sumerian civilization.

Yes, yes, the guy with the wild hair and man-tan stole the show.

Since the Anunnaki were weird beings into all kinds of genetic mutations and experimenting with the creatures on Earth as possible slave labor, we have mixed feelings about their return. They seem to be the folks on Nibiru, and the Vatican observatory at Mt. Graham keeping an eye on them is cold comfort.

Gold in them thar hills set off our rush of ancient aliens 150,000 years ago. They needed the stuff for their technology, atmosphere, and apparently even took to eating it. With an abundance of goldstuff on Earth, we were fair game for their unfair games.

Old mines have been found that date back almost 200,000 years.

Gold has held its value.

The show leaped all over the planet: Enrico Fermi asked about alien visitors, “Where are they?”  Thence, we also met claimants of twelve crystal skulls hidden on our planet—and, we learned that, if they were ever put into the same room, Nibiru would be small potatoes.

Only seven quartz skulls are known, and they are not likely to leave their museums or private collections, even for Indy Jones.

As you might expect in 2010, much time was given over to the Mayan calendar and the so-called ‘end of the world’ in 2012. It’s like history is repeating itself this year, with another apocalyptic visit from Nibiru.

Yes, we are definitely ready for season 13 of Ancient Aliens.

Civil War Gold: Overboard and Underwhelmed

 DATELINE:  Gong Show Amateurs

Marty  Enter Mr. Moneybags

After four weeks of toying with the Civil War gold hunters, Marty Lagina comes through with a boat. We half expected he would provide them with the SS Minnow, as Kevin Dykstra tends to look more like the Skipper than Gilligan. Marty Lagina shows up as Thurston Howell, III, and brother Rick is a no-show as Lovey.

Welcome to episode five of Curse of Civil War Gold.

To our surprise, Lagina coughed up plenty to give them a state-of-the-art 80’ yacht with all the amenities of up-to-date sonar and research ability. They even have a captain who seems to know what he is doing, though that never stops the hunters from ignoring expertise.

Kevin Dykstra is hell-bent on diving, even in choppy seas. Much to our amusement, Marty Lagina showed up for the first dive, as if to check on how his money is being spent.

Of course, the first hit is not the right boxcar on the dice. After one of the gold hunters tells Lagina there can only be so many boxcars at the bottom of Lake Michigan, we discover there are at least two.

Strike one does not daunt Kevin Dykstra who is eager to don his wet suit as if posing for the ‘before’ pictures for Jenny Craig. Alas, not using experts continues to be the daunting issue here. During his second jump, Dykstra actually breaks a hip by hitting the diving platform. Curses, foiled again.

Though they were on the cusp of finding some kind of valuable metal, the entire operation is scrubbed because of the Chuck Barris Gong Show mentality.

If there is a silver lining, it means that a real diving team will have to finish the job: so Lagina will call in his old Oak Island stand-by to resolve the issue.

We are at the end of this season, with episode six on the horizon.

And, if there is any explanation of why the series has been called the Curse of Civil War Gold, we are hard-pressed to know what it is.

We don’t usually blame stupidity on curses.