Roswell Relics on Ancient Aliens

DATELINE: Crash 50,000 Years Ago

Foot in Mouth Again?

You know you are scrapping the bottom of the barrel on season 15 of our favorite Ancient Aliens show when you send Giorgio and Linda Moulton Howe out to the desert to scrape the ground for any leftovers. Next time they will start going through dumpsters at Area 51.

With an inexpensive metal detector, Giorgio goes out into the desert, like Moses, and finds the amazing metal of a crashed flying saucer. Linda has possession for 20 years of strange metal that is impossible to make on Earth.

Now we hear there were not two, but three UFO crashes.

She has been give mysterious materials from the grandson of recovering soldier who kept the samples from the government’s coverup. These are called metamaterials.

The materials are brought to Fort Worth about the crash, but he is stopped. Gen. Ramey dumbly held a document that forensic analysis revealed that there were victims and a disc.

Linda uses white gloves at the start, later they handle these materials in bare hands. So much for care for the artifacts. The use a small detector to find a needle in a haystack or a piece of metal in a vast desert. You guessed it: Bingo!

Giorgio and Linda find two pieces of wire in the famous Gouge area.  When tested, the material could have been lost bobby pins, but the stuff is weirder.

We find that UFOs are crashing everywhere, even in Russia where nono particles have been found. It is a debris field that could be 50,000 years old!

Our highpoint is always when Giorgio misues a big word, like tertiary.

Ancient Aliens Back in 2010, Season 1

DATELINE: New Episodes On the Horizon!

 hair  Yes, Giorgio!

Nibiru, the X planet, is allegedly on the horizon and ready to cause consternation again later this week. And, with a new season of Ancient Aliens coming up on the rising of a new moon, we decided to take a look at one of the first season episodes from 2010.

Do the old Ancient Aliens hold up to the universal change of the skies? We looked into our radio telescope and crystal ball.

The answer is sort of.

The third show of the series in 2010, entitled “The Mission,” had all the hoopla you’ve come to expect. Alas, the ninety-minute show was all over the map, taking us from Peruvian gold among the Nazcar Lines to Anunnaki control of the Sumerian civilization.

Yes, yes, the guy with the wild hair and man-tan stole the show.

Since the Anunnaki were weird beings into all kinds of genetic mutations and experimenting with the creatures on Earth as possible slave labor, we have mixed feelings about their return. They seem to be the folks on Nibiru, and the Vatican observatory at Mt. Graham keeping an eye on them is cold comfort.

Gold in them thar hills set off our rush of ancient aliens 150,000 years ago. They needed the stuff for their technology, atmosphere, and apparently even took to eating it. With an abundance of goldstuff on Earth, we were fair game for their unfair games.

Old mines have been found that date back almost 200,000 years.

Gold has held its value.

The show leaped all over the planet: Enrico Fermi asked about alien visitors, “Where are they?”  Thence, we also met claimants of twelve crystal skulls hidden on our planet—and, we learned that, if they were ever put into the same room, Nibiru would be small potatoes.

Only seven quartz skulls are known, and they are not likely to leave their museums or private collections, even for Indy Jones.

As you might expect in 2010, much time was given over to the Mayan calendar and the so-called ‘end of the world’ in 2012. It’s like history is repeating itself this year, with another apocalyptic visit from Nibiru.

Yes, we are definitely ready for season 13 of Ancient Aliens.