Brady at the Bat

DATELINE: DERAILED IN DENVER

Yikes, history repeated itself this weekend.

There was no joy in Mudville, nor in Foxboro.

The Mighty Brady has struck out.

Fans were thrown a curve ball, and the pitcher was an aging knuckleballer named Manning.

The bases were loaded in the bottom of the ninth, and Brady had many times in the past knocked the ball out of the park. But, on this pleasant day with ordinary meteorological conditions in the Mile High City, he was caught looking.

Back in the day the Mighty Brady would have pulled off a last second victory, but the sneer is gone from Brady’s lip, his teeth are clenched in hate at Goodell; he pounds his fists on the deflated ball, and now he lets it go.

The vengeance was shattered in Denver’s light air, and in the fans’ hearts.

Somewhere in the favored land of Foxboro, the sun will shine again; the Minutemen with their muskets will fire upon a Gronk spike; and sometime in the future, Pats’ fans will laugh, and children will shout, but for this season, the Mighty Brady has struck out.

Pats Airing It Out in Denver

DATELINE:  High Winds

 

As we live and breathe, the air in Denver has its own pressure. In some circles, it is expected that Peyton Manning has been sleeping in a hyperbaric chamber in the mode of Michael Jackson.

It rejuvenates and instills deflated quarterbacks into their former selves.

We recall the days when players proudly sat on the visitors’ bench in Denver and sucked air out of a tank.

Nowadays, any mention of oxygen and air pressure sends grown men into an air pocket of protection. Players do not want to be seen with a tank unless it is a Patton model.

With game temperature expected to be above freezing, the air will not be one psi less than expected. And, Manning is expected to be thawed out enough to pass, but not pass out, during the first half.

Airwaves used to be a big deal in sports broadcasting, but we have been under heavy-duty cables for some time now.

Whatever hot air Bill Belichick disparages in his press conferences, as he did this week in regard to Bulletin Board Broncos, the Great Hoodie has a team playing on one lung if we are to believe his questionable list of players for the big game.

Yes, Belichick lists nearly an entire starting lineup as likely out: eleven players are dubious to play. These include Gronk, Amendola, Edelman, Collins, Ninkovich, Jones, Vollmer, Slater, McCourty, Chung, and Brady.

Yes, that is hot air for sure. You could blow us over with Tom Brady’s special implanted hot air hair dryer. We feel like HAL the computer has shut the air lock and left us in the vacuum of airless space.