Private Files of J. Edgar Hoover

DATELINE: 1977 A-I Grand Production

 

Broderick Crawford Crawford as Hoover

If Director Hoover were still running the FBI, you know the shenanigans at the White House and during the Trump campaign would be dead in their tracks.

The Private Files of J.Edgar Hoover, 1977’s film by Larry Cohen is still surprisingly relevant today: from Hoover’s dealings with immigrants, terrorists, and campaign laundering of money. You might be amused to hear that Hoover was on the side of right, according to this marvelous little film. In many ways it is more amusing than Eastwood’s version.

Young Hoover is played by James Wainwright—and his best friend is his mother, actress June Havoc in a cameo. The best of the stunning cast includes Jose Ferrer as a dubious underling to Hoover. However, the G-Man couple of the century, Hoover and Clyde Tolson, are played by Broderick Crawford and Dan Dailey, no strangers to whispers and innuendos themselves.

Hoover must deal with Franklin Roosevelt (Howard da Silva) and Bobby Kennedy (Michael Parks).  AG Kennedy especially tried to drive Hoover to retirement with great disrespect, but Hoover was a wily old fox. He handled Kennedy and seemed ready to blackmail Martin Luther King (Raymond St. Jacques).

If you like hooting through a movie, this old American International flick has gunfights with Dillinger and mobsters, and TWA hijackers.

The rumors that Tolson and Hoover were a romantic couple is among the highlights of the film, hinting they might have been brave pioneers in gay rights, no less. However, there is no scene of Edgar in a dress.  Sorry.  All this is secondary to a grandiose performance by the never-shy Broderick Crawford as the Top Cop (never saying 10-4) and his aide-de-camp Dan Dailey.

His secret files kept many people in their place. He had dirt on everyone over 50 years and managed to convince Lyndon Johnson (Andrew Duggan) to extend the retirement age to accommodate the FBI oldster.

More salacious info would come out after the making of this film, but this semi-forgotten movie will do as a bang-up tribute to Edgar.

 

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Trump to Nominate Roger Goodell for FBI?

DATELINE:  Whimsy & Humor

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With the big news out of Washington that President Trump has fired FBI Director James Comey, the speculation has run rampant down to Foxboro about the next man Trump may select for a grueling Senate confirmation hearing.

And, the word around is that President Trump’s good friend, Bill Belichick, might be the grandest choice to head the crime fighting agency.

Trump appears ready to buck the past precedent to hire a man who relaxes in his mother’s old dresses.

Belichick shares a disdain for talking to the media that Trump admires—and no one knows better how to deal with fake news than the head coach of the Patriots.

Of course, first choice Tom Brady wants to keep his job with the Patriots. The FBI director receives a contract to play for ten years—and Tom expects to be around Gillette Stadium for at least a dozen more seasons.

Considering the problems of a Watergate type trouble that Trump may find himself, it would surely be good to find someone familiar with Spygate, Bountygate, and Deflategate, to head the FBI job.

That leads us to the unfortunate conclusion that the best man for the job could be Roger Goodell. We don’t know if he wears dresses in his spare time, but we won’t bet against it.

Trump should nominate Goodell for the post. He can keep Belichick on ice until the head of the CIA job opens up.

 

 

 

Shirts Off Tom Brady’s Back

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DATELINE:  Shirtless in Houston

The louse who took time Brady’s blouse has been caught.  The Mounties get their man, and so apparently do the FBI. It appears that the thief is from below the border with real journalist credentials.

Hats off to the guys who found the shirts off Tom.

What’s worse, he seems to be a serial jersey swiper. FBI reportedly found the missing game jersey Tom wore in 2015 with its 2017 counterpart.

In an age when the FBI is investigating Russian ties to President Trump and Russian hacking of the recent presidential campaign of Hillary Clinton, Hoover’s minions have found time to solve the biggest sports mystery of the century.

It also and apparently pays to have friends in high places. This could be the biggest triumph of the Trump administration so far. It’s been a month since somebody put their mitts on Tom Brady’s half $1 million blouse—and we have answers before we have evidence that Obama bugged Trump. (Well, he bugs Trump every day.)

Brady’s stolen jersey is a victim of international intrigue. We aren’t sure whether to blame Goldfinger or Jason Bourne. It used to be that you had Interpol going after international jewel thieves, but today the James Bond mentality lives among our local law-enforcement.

The FBI has found Tom’s jersey on “foreign soil. ” No doubt, it was soiled too.

Our first suspicions went to the culprit of Bob Kraft Super Bowl ring, which was taken by Vladimir Putin in Russia several years ago. Now suspicion falls again on the Kremlin, or their minions. Did the Russian mob pull a bag job? Did they farm the crime out to the Mexican drug cartel?

We suspect Trump will say we need a wall more than ever, not to keep aliens out but to keep Tom Brady’s equipment in.

That two Brady blouses were discovered means that we have an organized and serial criminal operation that loots the bounty from the sacred locker rooms of America. This is worse than terror; it is sacrilege.

We expect to see President Trump holding the recovered blouse and handing it to Brady at a press conference soon. Right now Trump needs all the positive publicity he can find.

Criminal Working for the Government

DATELINE: TV & MOVIE MASHUP

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Blacklist presents hints of Whitey Bulger

The Blacklist is another of those intriguing television series that are available on stream, viewed in chunks. It’s a good thing too, as we became hooked at wondering where this James Spader tour de force role would take us.

With echoes of The Equalizer and dollops of a dozen other counterespionage movies, Spader plays a mysterious fellow named Raymond Reddington, sort of a Moriarty of crime who suddenly turns federal informant.

Yes, your bureaucratic government types are suspicious—and so are we. He will work only with one young female agent who is starting her career the same day he turns state’s evidence. The kicker is that he will only talk to her, putting her under suspicion too. We hope the secret is not so mundane as he is her real father.

Reddington seems to have contacts with every element across the globe. Dressed like Whitey Bulger in a black hat and trench coat, Spader scoffs at the button-down types and makes the character delicious in his omniscience. If the show aired on the SyFy network, we’d presume he was an alien from outer space, ready to make the Earth stand still.

In an age when the FBI and CIA have used dubious sources for their information, the show fits into their contemporary legacy.

Quick cuts and interlocking scenes make for amusing sequences of who can you trust. Not since John Houseman played Professor Kingsfield in a few pivotal scenes has there been such a compelling figure to drop in and carry a show.

Spader plays well off guest star villains like Isabella Rossellini and Homeland Security powerhouses like Jane Alexander.

We will continue to watch because entertainment is often a hard nugget to find on weekly series—and so many of our favorites seem to be petering out. This freebie TV show is better than 90% of the big budget movies now out there.