Fake News in Sports & Politics Explained

DATELINE: New Criticism in Old Bottles

candidates2 A Couple of Old Fakers

President Donald Trump and his best bosom buddy Head Coach Bill Belichick of the New England Patriots have something in common. They both despise fake news and see it everywhere they look in the media. And, each one wonders where the stories come from.

Let us explain.

In the old days before integrity in sports and politics waned, speculators were limited to the stock market and the racetrack. Today speculators are in blogs and in the national news media.

It’s a cottage industry to second-guess through analysis.  It’s also an old trick of literary analysis, thanks to our mentor and creator of the New Criticism, I.A. Richards, who wrote the ever-clever book, How to Read a Page. You look for repetitive motifs in a storyline.

That’s where you make logical deductions. That is not news, but it does provide insight.

Most of us no longer do the I.A. Richards analysis of literature because no one reads books. Richards used to be a well-respected literary Analyst.

However, these talents we learned from our PhD program years ago serve us quite well in both sports and in politics.

So, Trump and Belichick have to forgive us for taking their words and counting up references to draw a conclusion. It’s a time-tested insight. It’s better than reading Tarot cards and more accurate than trying to define brain waves, especially if the subject is brain-dead. That’s speculative analysis based on Donald Trump’s remarks.

For our part, we plan to continue to do our best analysis through fake news every chance we can to irritate people in sports and politics, which have become incestuous sides of the same coin. In Bill We Trust, kneeling or not.

 

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Tom Brady & Deer Hunter

DATELINE: Super Bowl LI Trophy Kills One

Brady & Deer Hunter  Brady & Killer Trophy

Not one day after Tom Brady received a $14 million signing bonus, delayed money from the past season, he found himself almost the 20th ranking, lowly paid quarterback in the NFL.

Brady made no allusion to his windfall on his Instagram account, but rather took a shot at the liberal, anti-Trump Boston Globe with a picture of their too early headline flub at the Super Bowl. Brady cited “hashtag fake news” as part of his April Fool joke.

Yes, self-righteous and incorrect Globe had put out an edition, reading, “A bitter end.”  Of course, the Pats won that game with its historic comeback.

Brady obviously has a copy of the errant Globe—and like Harry Truman holding up a newspaper showing his defeat to Tom Dewey, Brady is lambasting the Globe on the Fool’s Day for little faith in the Patriots.

Yet, the high price of the NFL for the Patriots reached its zenith on April Fool’s Day when a major, late-season snow storm hit New England. It was a day when we covered it all: snow, deer hunting, Trump, fake news, Aaron Hernandez, and the Lombardi trophy.

The coveted and prized Lombardi trophy that Brady held high at the Super Bowl Victory Parade in Boston a scant few weeks ago, in a raging snowstorm, met an untimely accident in Maine.

Yes, a Patriot security guard, and a Maine State trooper, were involved in taking the trophy to its public appearance on Saturday. Alas, another state mascot came to a bitter end when the car carrying the trophy struck the deer. Oh, dear, the deer is no more.

The Patriot trophy is now emulating killer Aaron Hernandez.

All involved were more worried that the car accident in Maine might delay the trophy from its next big pit stop at Fenway Park on Monday. It is scheduled to make an appearance at Opening Day.

No word if any Patriots ever show up with the trophy or whether it reserves its own life, even at the cost of wildlife.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Fake Celtics News by Boston Media

DATELINE: Trading Off Media Fakersaging-ainge

Donald Trump would understand what Danny Ainge is going through.

Boston sports pundits and experts are raking aging Ainge over the coals because he made no trade at the NBA trade deadline on Thursday.

This is fake news at its worst.

Boston sports media maroons spend endless hours, speculating on inconceivable trades. They have done so for months. They use these fake stories, rumors, and speculations, to fill hours and hours of empty hot airtime on radio and TV.

Now, because there is no trade, the sports pundits begin to look like fools.  Heaven upend, they are fools.

Sports network pundits and their endless overpaid existence must be justified. Hence, there are brutal attacks on Ainge for not making a trade—and not making the alleged smart guys look smart. They want blood now, not a trade.

They are attempting to roil up the fans, lest someone note these emperors of airtime have no clothes.

We suspect Ainge has been burned by the Kendrick Perkins trade so many years ago. It undercut and devastated the chemistry of the Celtics team back then. Who can blame him for being cautious?

Boston has a team of interesting Celtics players, doing far more than anyone could expect. We always like to accept what is on the court and play with what we have, rather than not play at all.

Fake News Attacks Patriots

DATELINE: Baloney

Trumped

Fake news has now moved into the sphere of sports in Boston.

A half-baked article has just appeared by some writer named Charlotte Wilder of Lincoln, Massachusetts, (a hoity-toity rich town) calling the New England Patriots a team that has a “Trump problem.”

It isn’t true, but trolls have to spread their venom.

In the old days we’d call this baloney. Today it is simply liberal conspiracy and fake news.

This writer cites one or two people who complain they are completely disillusioned with Tommy Brady and Bill Belichick.  Talk about making a generalization on a small sample size!

These people claim they will never buy merchandise from the Patriots ever again, and they will not watch a game with their families henceforth.

Most of these quoted isolated cases of Liberals are fickled types who gave dedicated support to Hillary Clinton.  However, if you look at real Patriot fans, none of them were really dedicated Clinton supporters; perhaps they are not even dedicated Trump supporters.

The nature of sports is an escape from political fake news and daily life in Massachusetts.

It’s entirely possible that the vast majority of Patriot fans still love Brady. They still regard Belichick as a sports genius and don’t even mind Mr. Kraft visiting Trump at Trump Towers.

For most fans politics is a game of  hypocrisy.

There’s no doubt in far-out Massachusetts many Clinton supporters are now blackballing Trump supporters. We’ve heard of cases of people refusing to talk to family members who voted for Trump. We know of “friends” who have disparaged their friends who voted for the wrong candidate.

We point out that the people who claim Trump is full of hate are the ones who are showing hate to Trump voters.

When you read about how the Patriots and Brady have alienated Patriot fans, you can relegate this to the fake sports news category.

There is no refuge from political scoundrels.

Fake News Finds a Home in Boggy Blogging

 DATELINE:  Wiki-poop Dumps on Wiki-leaks

Mr. Mucus

 

Fake news is putting satire out of business.

Yes, people hate satire because, unlike stand-up, you cannot pin down satire.

Just ask the Huffington people, or our favorite form of satire: Wikipedia, which is satiric history on an encyclopedic level.

Then again we frequently confuse Wikipedia with Wikileaks. This had led us to once consider calling our blog Wikipoo, an unauthorized version of the truncated and abridged  Wikipoop.

There is a saying that you cannot satirize humor, though we have proven that false for years by becoming a conspiracy theorist.

In our estimate, Pizzagate is a conspiracy against anchovies. However, false news reports apparently mean it is something to do with children abusing delivery pizza joints.

If we were to give it the Wikipoop report, you’d find it something akin to Whistle-gate, our indictment of the NFL for calling pass interference at the drop of a ball, or our personal creation, Deflate-gate, created to sell Tom Brady more than Peyton Manning as a spokesman.

All in all, we are all for fake news. Why should the media be treated any different than the journalists who regularly appear on Ancient Aliens and Hangar One? If you disbelieve fake news, you may find yourself taken away to Area 51, America’s name for a gulag. Of course, you may just find yourself the victim of missing time.

As we grow older, we think the idea of missing time is part of the Alzheimer’s conspiracy— fake medical news designed to prevent wizened old wiseguys from making jokes.

Reddit will probably refuse to run our satire today because we never mentioned Trump. Fake news, you gotta love it.