Skinny Dip at Skinwalker Ranch

DATELINE: Yes, We Have No Mutilations

 AlienCon Guests!

There seems to be some paranoia striking deep into Skinwalker Ranch, which is saying something. Already on alert about all things paranormal, an ersatz Area 51 and a Half, the crew does not need much to be at each other’s throats.

This week several interesting developments made us skeptical. First, while they were trying to determine if EVPs were occurring at one of the staff houses, they see a helicopter flying overhead. It has a camera on its bottomside and no insignias.

It is clearly not Brandon Fugal, their boss who has a fancy copter and arrives like deus ex machina. This unknown aircraft sets them into a frenzy. We thought it would not be beyond producers to hire a fly-by to add intrigue.

This matter is put on the back burner when we are cast into the opening show’s first sequence:  discovery of a dead cow on the property. Everyone scrambles, but the creature, dead for a few hours, is not mutilated, by dead mysteriously.

When they call their billionaire owner, he is so upset that he states he will drive over immediately with an expert in the subject of cattle mutilation. Suddenly he is not flying in his private copter from Vegas.

When he arrives with his “expert”, it is none other than Linda Moulton Howe, making her appearance his best decision in the series.

Surprisingly, her costar on Ancient Aliens, Travis Taylor, is not there to greet her.

She visits the dead cow and checks out footage and states the obvious: it’s not cattle mutilation, but the electro-magnetic aspect interests her.

Though the alpacas are in a protective cage, Linda points out that something could enter from above, which comes as a shock to several. Hunh? You mean they never considered the UFOs?

Oh, well, this was a better entry than the previous six.

 

More Walking, Less Skin on Skinwalker Ranch.

DATELINE: Dragonfly in the Ointment!

What’s underneath the Secret of Skinwalker Ranch? If you recall the scene from the original Thing, the explorers in the Arctic form a human ring around something under the ice: it turns out to be oval, like a saucer.

This week with GPR, the radar indicates something is about 20 feet under the ground near a hotspot at the ranch. When Travis Taylor connects the dots, it turns out to be saucer shaped. And two stories tall.

Of course, you have to take Taylor with a grain of salt and a damaged brain cell or two. He is at the abandoned homestead and is told not to pick up a heavy cover to a well. He never listens. Immediately he is hit with the equivalent of 20,000 X-rays. He felt a tad unwell, as you might expect.

One of the security guards leaders nicknamed Dragonfly, who is a pip, states he has no opinion because he lacks a PhD. Well, there you have in a nutshell the anti-intellectual and anti-scientific attitude of viewers, according to History Channel demographics. There is a dragonfly in the ointment.

What have we got here? A series that offends science and lies about truth. Robert Clotworthy’s sonorous tones tell us that the federal government studied the place for 10 years and learned nothing. Earlier we heard that former owner Robert Bigelow had all kinds of information, but refused to release it.

Taylor is clearly furious with the billionaire boss and his dragonfly that he had to defend the idea of drilling to find out what he was hired to study. We may never have seen such flaring anger in Dr. Taylor in any of his previous TV appearances.

Someone is withholding truth. You may want to pursue this series for a few more episodes, but it is now called History’s “new hit” in ads. What that means for the future only space aliens can tell.

 

 

 

Ancient Aliens: an Elemental Approach

DATELINE:  Return of Bob Lazar

out there

“Element 115” was once a fantasy of UFO metal worker Bob Lazar, but now it has come true like a Cinderella story.

Giorgio sort of falls by the wayside for this show, and more attention is given to Nick Pope and David Childress as commentators. However, the latest addition to the expert gang is some producer of a Bob Lazar documentary. They clean this guy up, but he is still creepy.

So, Ancient Aliens recycles footage from Bob Lazar’s recent new documentary interview, which featured a raid by FBI/NSA/CIA and other alphabet acronyms. It appears he suggested he had kept a sample of this highly unstable element.

According to Ancient Alien theorists who have been taking the road to the stars for over a decade, this stuff was deliberately given to mankind to help join the member community of space patrols across the galaxy.

The notion is posed that two UFO crashes in 1947 were staged in Russia and the US in order to magnanimously bestow each with another reason to compete.

This allegedly will lead to peaceful exploration of outer space by providing humans with a fuel that alters the time/space continuum.

Ancient Aliens gives the show over to author Mike Bara and Travis Taylor to visit a Hollywood special effects lab and analyze some recent UFO footage released (suspiciously) by the Pentagon. They contend the government is giving us the drip by drip information that we are not alone.

The upshot is that, if the new Element 115 can be made to remain in a shot glass for more than a gulp or two, we can conquer the solar system and beyond.

We’ll drink to that.