Big Deal on Ancient Aliens

Dr. Jason Osequeda

 DATELINE:  Tall Tales

Welcome to the Land of the Giants.  In case you are wondering where it is, Ancient Aliens puts the epicenter around the Mediterranean Sea—but these big people spread out, as you cannot keep a big man down.

Noting that the big stone monuments that have survived for thousands and thousands of years were built without tools, they had to be picked up like pebbles on the beach and put into walls, pyramids, and other ancient structures. Only your biggest folks could handle the job.

These big people, giants stood as much as 100 feet tall, which means the dinosaurs would have had a tough time fighting off these hunters.

The general run of giants shrank to more chewable size of ten to twenty feet. Talk about big feet.

Though some believe a race of giants were some kind of mutation that did not last, Ancient Alien theorists expectedly believe these creatures came from outer space to redistribute the planet’s makeup.

They cite legend and myth with some academics who discuss the Cyclops, one-eyed monsters, as a real nationality. If we recall our Greek mythology, the Cyclops met by Odysseus was not too bright, which may explain their soon to be extinction.

Malta seems to be the epicenter of civilizations thousands of years before known developments of the Biblical era. The megalithic structures bear a striking parallel to the Sumerian pyramids, allegedly built by giants from outer space.

Speaking of Lost in Space, actor Bill Mumy who produces Ancient Aliens nowadays used a clip of him as a child star shooting a giant Cyclops he encountered on the pilot episode of his earlier series.

The series uses a couple of new Ph.D.s to tell the stories, including Dr. Linda Enix and Dr. Jason Osequeda, both are most interesting and it might return for future shows. Dr. Bruce Fenton has become a regular.

The most outrageous claim of the episode is that Adam, the first man, was a giant, likely the son of Titans.

 

 

 

Ancient Aliens: Giant Steps

DATELINE: Oil Lagina & Water Giorgio

 Giant Treasure Island

No mixer and no chaser!

The latest pairing of Giorgio Tsoukalos with a guest star on Ancient Aliens dumps us on Sardinia with Marty Lagina. This is the second time that the Oak Island connection has reached the exalted heights of Ancient Aliens.

We await the favor to be returned. But don’t hold your breath.

You may remember Lagina as the cynical and rich brother who underwrites the Curse of Oak Island, also a History series. This time, he has been inexplicably brought on board for an episode of Ancient Aliens.

Whether Giorgio will show up for a treasure hunt is anyone’s guess on Oak Island.

Marty Lagina is also known as the man for whom all must be proven. He looks askance at most of Giorgio’s wayout theories and dismisses them as “interesting,” though his face seems to shout, “What am I doing here?”

They have come to Sardinia to look for giants. Along the way we hear from Timothy Alberino whose YouTube privileges were revoked this year—and who contends he is victim of a major conspiracy to cover up the alien giant connection.

Who is protecting the Cyclops is not explained.

Even hard-nosed Marty Lagina must admit that the ruins on the isle of Sardinia impress him with their technology and stunning ability to build.

In the final analysis, we have wild conjecture and tie-ins to all the usual suspects. Yet, again, no one mentions that Noah (who built the Ark) was thought also to be a giant who survived the flood that was destined and meant to wipe out all those hybrid aliens who had gone out of control.

You cannot beat the imaginative fascination of this series.

 

 

 

 

 

Fee, Fie, Foe Fumble: Patriots Face Off Giants

 DATELINE: Tom Brady’s Odyssey

Featured imageHe Smells the O-Line

The New England Patriots will play a game this week that resembles a trip to the dentist’s office. Is it that time again already? The old magazines in the waiting room all date back to various lost Super Bowls.

Several times over the past decade Tom Brady has gone to the Giant dentist to have his teeth polished—and discovered his gold fillings stolen.

There aren’t many teams that have put up a barber’s pole outside the stadium and cleaned, pressed, and wiped out the New England Patriots. These Giants are doing it with a pizza delivery boy’s younger brother.

Brady is first to acknowledge that he seems to come down with a bad case of cramps whenever the Giants smell his blood. It is always worse when you are locked in Tom Coughlin’s man-cave. Brady opens his mouth and develops flat feats.

You’d think by now that Tom would have read up on Odysseus and how he handled the one-eyed giant called Cyclops, clearly a distant relative of Peyton Manning. Cyclops’d eat up the O-line of Odysseus every time.

This week Tom may have noticed that his offensive linemen already chewed up and predigested. Fate has taken a bite out of his protection and left him looking like chopped liver.

If we seem nervous while awaiting this week’s trip to the dentist, you can understand fully that this situation and losing Dion Lewis, is like renting an apartment from your dentist. Not only is he counting your teeth, your lease is up at the end of the month and the moving truck has deflated tires.