Tom Cat on a Hot Tin Roof

DATELINE: Tom Brady’s Last Refuge as a Scoundrel

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Liar, Liar, pants on fire. Tom Brady has joined the Liars Club.

We believed every word Tom Brady told us. So did owner Robert Kraft, but we already knew he was a dupe. He admitted it when he dealt with Aaron Hernandez. We hate to admit we too are a dupe.

If Brady lied about deflating notions, then what of his relationship with Hernandez? He claimed they only trained together now and then. In fact, Hernandez went out to the West Coast to spend time in Los Angeles bars and to train with his big Tom.

Heavens, we feel betrayed. Tom was a known associate of a killer.

In the football-based drama by Tennessee Williams, Cat on a Hot Tin Roof, Big Daddy learned finally that his son the star quarterback built a life on lies.

“Mendacity!” Big Daddy went around the house shouting. We suspect Bill Beiichick must be yelling a similar epithet, though he likely proceeds his fifty dollar word with a hundred ‘F” adjectives.

Tom, we hardly knew ye. You’re right, of course, that this is not up there with the dirty work of Benedict Arnold, but betrayal of trust is tough, no matter what level you create it.

We wonder if he lied to Wes, to Julian, or even to his mother.

If you like your footballs soft, we have a hard lesson for you. It may win a game, but it compromises your own integrity—let alone the shield of the NFL.

We hardly want to besmirch a shield that protects child molesters, wife beaters, cheaters, drug users, convicted murderers, and now ball deflaters.

Ah, American pro sports, the last bastion of hypocrisy, mendacity, and scoundrels. Yes, Tom, you’re in there somewhere.