Rumors Persist: NE Patriots In Chaos

DATELINE:  Rat on Board

Zo mark

Is something rotten in the state of Patriotsland in Foxboro?

Are we about to see a mutiny on the Sunny Ship Patriots? Is Tom Brady about to toss Captain Bligh off the ship like a good Fletcher Christian?

Bombshells are in the offing before a single playoff game is played. Bombogenesis cyclones hitting the area will be the least of the problems.

According to those pesky unnamed sources, Tom Brady demanded the trade of Jimmy G over Bill Bligh Belichick’s opinion by going to the man with the purse-strings, Mr. Robert Kraft.

As you might expect, Kraft took Brady’s side.

Does this make any sense? According to trolls and pundits, Brady is miffed that his guru and physical trainer, Alex Guerrero, has been banned by Belichick from planes, trains, cars, playing fields, and locker-rooms. This means other Patriot players are not allowed to consult him.

The big name here is Gronk.

So, the two biggest stars on the team are in a snit over Belichick’s autocrat at the brunch table.

Who are these unnamed sources? Well, one name keeps popping up: Jonathan E. Kraft, who is well-known for schmoozing with the likes of media types like Tom E. Curran.

Someone in the know is spilling beans faster than bean counters can keep track.

More bombogenesis is expected this weekend, which may turn the good ship Patriots under water, and send Bligh Blight Belichick heading for the lifeboats faster than your average rat.

Stay tuned for more sensational crap that rivals gossip and salacious innuendo at the White House.

 

 

 

 

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