Legends of the Living Dead

DATELINE: No, Not Zombies!

burton Battling Burtons!

Another short series on Amazon Prime caught our most morbid sense: there are only four episodes, and we opted to look at the one that had several incidents that we have some knowledge about.

It is a series called Legends of the Living Dead.

Called derisively “Tinseltown,” the episode is a misnomer since most of the people under study here are NOT residents of Hollywood, and only had short ancillary careers there (if at all). Our friends in the industry hate that term “Tinseltown.”

This intriguing show is made up of short vignettes, nothing too in depth. First is an examination of the fight over dead Richard Burton by his wife Sally Burton and his two-time wife Elizabeth Taylor. The one-year marriage left Sally a widow who exercised her rights ruthlessly: she went against Burton’s wishes and his family’s to be buried in Wales. Instead, he is in Switzerland. Taylor was banned from the funeral. The idiot expert called them the Brad Pitt/Jennifer Aniston of the 60s! Imagine!

Another incident dealt with Sid Vicious and his talentless wife Nancy. Actually, he too was fairly untalented and faked guitar playing. He was arrested for her murder but overdosed shortly thereafter. Sid’s mother, another wack job, dumped his ashes on Nancy’s grave as a means to tie them together. Not a Hollywood story at all, except a movie was made about it.

Another episode in the hour discussed poetic songwriter Jim Morrison who never made a Hollywood movie, but Val Kilmer played him. He died in Paris and is buried there, not Hollywood.

Another tale is Australian Ned Kelly who was the subject of a couple of movies—made in Australia. It seems some backwoods bird keeps Ned’s skull in a box until he receives a pardon for his crimes.

Charlie Chaplin’s graverobbing incident in 1978 from his Swiss grave makes up another story, and the final episode is about the young male child who died on Titanic and is buried in Nova Scotia. Well, they have made a couple of Titanic movies, so that qualifies as a Tinseltown tale.

The little vignettes are treated with a cavalier irreverence, which is bad enough, but they really are misnomers to Tinseltown completely.

We may tackle the other three episodes at some point.

 

NFL Owes Patriot Fans $$$$

DATELINE: The High Cost of DeflationBrady beauty rest

The NFL owes us money. In fact, we want our money back. This Sunday at primetime evening, we expected to see a real football game.

Instead, the NFL has the temerity to offer us a performance without the stars.
If this were the New York stage in the 1980s, and if Elizabeth Taylor and Richard Burton decided not to play in private lives for our big night, we would be faced with the understudies.

Who wants to see nobodies? we would be well within our rights to demand our money back. Certainly we should not be expected to sit through those insipid Peyton Manning commercials.

In the NFL, where stars of Burton and Taylor’s caliber seem to predominate every week, we are now faced with the loss of Tom Brady and Gronk.

They are surely comparable to Burton and Taylor. They may be almost like Jolie and Pitt or Chris Pine and Zachary Quinto.

We hesitate to say which one would be Taylor. But we all know that Taylor without Burton was sort of a flat performance. They played off of each other.

The same holds true for Brady and Gronk. But thanks to the NFL, we shall not see Tom Brady on Sunday night. We are left with the understudies.

Yes, that means Jimmy G and Julie E are stepping in for the big marquee stars. This is a catastrophe.

This is not what we paid for. So, Roger, cough up our refund.