David Ortiz Questions Persist

DATELINE: Pardon Us!

GOATS

Boston sports media always protect their own. If you have questions, you may not always receive answers. Not even the get well wishes of a former President of the United States can hide bigger puzzlements.

Dark questions haunt the situation surrounding the hit on David Ortiz. Oh, yes, make no mistake: it was a hit that fortunately did not end Big Papi’s game. As he told doctors entering surgery, “I am a good man.” He did not want to die.

So, we wonder why the Red Sox organization decided to fly Ortiz out of the Dominican Republic as soon as possible, even before he stabilized (despite the medical opinion to the contrary).

If you think he was stable, he arrived in Boston to face immediate second surgery. Did someone botch the job in the ER of the DR?

In New York’s Post, you see the words “hit man.” This does not surprise several of his former teammates, who indeed think an assassin’s bullet is not out of the question.

You may well wonder why Ortiz returned often to the DR. Was it to see his family—while leaving his wife and children back in Boston?

You may well wonder why the assassin is tied to drugs and why his companion was a police officer. You may well wonder if the long-ago charge that Ortiz used illegal substances in his baseball career might resurface.

They removed Ortiz from the DR before another attack might finish him off: how easy it is to die in a hospital from complications after being shot up and losing your intestines, spleen, and other organ parts.

Septic poisoning is but a day away.

Big Papi’s agent thinks something odd is going on. Well, when you are spirited out of the hospital before the police can question you, there is an appearance that leaves a dubious feeling.

We can count only on the fact that the Boston media has thrown up another protective shield around David Ortiz.

Fanboys of Boston Media

DATELINE:  Fanboys Undressed

An important and venerable Boston sportswriter and lately media star does not need the money or the work. He has pointed out the emperors with new togs as an embarrassment. Now he is anathema (though those he criticizes don’t know the word).

Alleged sports insiders are mere shills on sports radio and television for their own aggrandizement and work like whores for the teams they cover. General Hooker had them too and gave them an appropriate name.

They make the term ‘homer’ look quaint and anachronistic. These new boys of the media are pals with the players and love to have their proverbial ass grabbed by owners.

And who could blame them? It’s the only sure way to gain access to the clubhouse to have warm and fuzzy interviews with tough young men who make millions.

Bromance is a new word that falls short in describing the kind of satyriasis these fanboys have the athletes whose jocks they uncover. Hookers indeed.

Those of us who sneer at players and point out the follies of ownership are shunned more than Typhoid Mary. You won’t see Ossurworld on any talk radio shows—and some websites censor any material or reference to Ossurworld blogs and books.

The power of power is corrupting to the weak-minded, and there is no better way to describe the overly enthusiastic putative “reporters” who cover the Bruins, Red Sox, Patriots, and Celtics. They have no vocabulary or understanding of anything beyond yesterday’s scores.

They are on par with the bloggers on big websites that think they are the next generation of media stars, waiting to replace the dinosaurs of print media.

For every Bob and Dan, there are dozens of of Mikes, Kirks, Robs, and plenty of Dicks.

Any insight from these fellows is about as rancid as cheese from a mousetrap. Eat at your own peril. Yet, adolescent fans swallow the crap daily—and adolescence now extends to 45, moving quickly on 50.

If you are older or seem older, you are dismissed as suffering the next stage of dementia for criticizing pampered and deranged PED/pet players. The acronym networks grow these dim bulbs out of season and dump them on the sports market.

Sports are the lifeblood of many because they have no life beyond watching a game. How sad.

Patriots Continue Their (Im)perfect Season

DATELINE: HUMOR!

The Pollyanna media of Boston is back on the bandwagon.

After a lynch party of noose holders ran amok around the sports radio circuit last week, wanting the head of Tom Brady, the soothing waters of another victory calmed the nay-sayers.

Tom’s rookie receivers actually caught a few passes and gave the ungodly Brady his angel wings back. He had two touchdown passes to make it 51 games in a row that he has thrown for a score.

On the plus side, he did not have to rely totally on Julian Edelman. That possibility inordinately worried the media this week.

Stevan Ridley also took a backseat in the victory, and no one seemed to notice. Brandon Bouldin started and won the gratitude of the fans and media for returning to the game after his injury hiatus and for holding on to the ball.

The media wove its postgame laurels to crown Tom Brady king of the mountain again. For his part, Tom Brady took a page out of Red Sox pitcher Jake Peavy’s playbook and only yelled at himself after bad plays.

The media calmed down with an infusion of Tom Brady’s methodical magic elixir. It doesn’t take much, though we fear another flare up of intestinal distress in the upcoming weeks when tougher opponents will cause a return of dyspepsia.

The messenger fears for his life again when we say the Patriots are neither as good, nor as bad, as the semi-objective Boston media would have us believe.

Bill Belichick’s teams always improve as the season progresses, and they always seem to peak around December when the games are pivotal.

There is not far to go after the team starts with three victories and no defeats. Can this team back into a perfect season with moderate talents?

In December the media will not remember how bad the team looked in September, and wins are always the best deodorant.

 

For more dirt on the Patriots, read NEW ENGLAND PATRIOTS UNDRESSED. Find it on Amazon.com.

 

Media Worries About Empty Seats at Fenway Park

DATELINE: HUMOR!

This week in Boston press coverage, the ever-obtuse media has been asking itself and fans the question, “Why is attendance down at Fenway Park?”

After years of belittling the fake sell-out figures, now the real figures are providing similar problems. Perhaps the numbers are not much different than at the height of the sell-out streak.

Manufactured issues are a given with the Boston media. Given their two empty-headed radio and TV stations, it is only natural they gravitate to fictional stories.

For some time the media has denigrated the Red Sox product as overpaid and pampered. When the team unloaded the quarter of a billion payroll robbers, the press became smug over signing “has-beens” and “never-was” players for millions.

When the team started winning, the media suddenly found chemistry in their dictionary. The word they should have been defining is “schizophrenia,” a condition of sports radio talk hosts.

The Fourth Estate drove fans out of Fenway out of guilt for supporting bad character teams. Now they berate the same fans for staying away from a heroic character team.

You can’t blame ownership this season. They have disappeared into the black lagoon, perhaps to reappear when playoffs are on the horizon.

You can’t blame fans that went to Fenway to see Fenway for having been there and done that.

You can blame the bleacher reporters and radio blab-meisters whose self-proclaimed insider knowledge may be about as thick as a bubble in Bill Belichick’s roster.

Red Sox attendance may be down, but press box seats are filled to capacity.

For more insight into the Red Sox, read RED SOX 2012: BOBBY VALENTINE’S SEASON IN HELL or RED SOX 2011: A WHIMSICAL AUTOPSY. Both are available on Amazon.com.