Danny Amendola on MVP Julian Edelman

 DATELINE: Demon & Pythiass

Danny & Julie Danny with Jules.

One of the guests to watch the Patriots win yet again another Super Bowl, number VI out of LIII, was a man who chose to leave the team to sign a contract with rival Miami before this season.

Aspiring model and wide receiver for the Dolphins, Danny Amendola, was there as a close friend to videographer and now Super MVP Julian Edelman and supporter of his former teammate.When asked one of the more personally interesting questions as he arrived in Atlanta, he said he did not like Edelman’s beard. “It’s smelly,” he told reporters on the fly.

If any man has been up close to the challenge of finding food particles in Julian’s fur-based face, it is the always adorable Danny.

No man is closer to Edelman and as familiar with his workout partner’s habits, Amendola starred in many of Edelman’s videos and antics. Amendola surely knows the intricacies of Julie’s bushy follicles.

He, like the rest of us, may be perplexed at the ugliness of his facial hair—and how he now waxes and wanes his entire body below the neck.

If Edleman likes to take fur off his buff bod, you may wonder why he leaves the au naturel look on his chinny-chin-chin. He surely has bone structure as sharp as Tom Brady, even without Botox, which leads us to note that our most blockbuster blog is the one in which we discussed the “work” Brady has done to maintain his youthful looks.

It’s important when you plan to play a game in the public eye until decrepitude and the Grim Reaper darken your door to stay youthful.

As for Danny, who had his own oddball hopes of becoming a supermodel, he can only second-guess whether he regrets his decision to leave the big stage of the Julie and Tom show, Super Bowl perennials, to play with the fishes in Miami.

 

Hirsute Edelman Grins & Bears It Up

DATELINE: Hair Today

 beastie-boy

While Gronk and Danny Amendola shine with a winner’s glow during their off-season, appearing everywhere from fashion show catwalks to the Dayton 500, pity poor Julian Edelman.

The best he could muster was a make-over to deal with his nasty-looking beard. Some unkind Jets fans have speculated that no one wants to touch him—for fear of cooties or worse.

And, that alone has made him untouchable during those Brady passes.

We are sure lice have found a sanctuary city among the kinky hairline. It may take a Trump executive order to end the itch.

We suspect that apart from Tommy Brady, no one has made a pass at Julie since he started sprouting something akin to pubic hair on his chinny-chin-chin. We suspect some is growing out of his ears by now.

So, it seems somewhat normal that he would jump at the chance to have a beauty re-do. In his line of work, he seldom catches a second chance.

Once a cutie-pie with chiseled looks, he now sports the scruff like a badge of ugly. A few rationalists contend Edelman is in a hair-off contest with Rob Ninkovich, on whom facial hair has met never met a nose trimmer it liked.

Former Patriot star and wearer of #11 in past years, Drew Bledsoe sent a tweet to Edelman that the homeless logger look has reached its nadir.

Edelman responded that “homeless chic is in.” Perhaps he just needs a beard.

We suspect that the pressure has backfired, though we read between the sheets that Edelman may have been kicked out of more beds lately than in previous years combined.

The next line-up for Julie will be “bear call” at P-town’s hairy fright night in June when hibernation ends.

 

Rondo Splits Hairs at the Celtics Home Opener

 

 DATELINE: HUMOR!

 

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We have finally found the proof that Rajon Rondo uses a beard.

It must be a secret of classified magnitude from the NSA. Yet, Rajon broke it out of mothballs and wore it to the opening home game of the 2013 season at TD Garden.

It looked suspiciously like a beard worn by those supporting the Red Sox in the quest for a World Series championship, but those in the know, nose tappers all, can tell you the truth. Rondo is one of Santa’s helpers during the summertime—or he is trolling under the Salt & Pepper Shaker Bridge to Harvard Square.

Rondo wears this beard whenever he goes out on the town in order to make himself look like Kevin Garnett’s illegitimate love child after an affair with a box of Honey Nut Cheerios.

Rondo frequently wears a beard when he picks up visitors like Kendrick Perkins at Logan International Airport.  When he enters the VIP Lounge, he has nothing to declare.

With skin as creamy as Boston cream pie, Rondo must resort to fake beards that would make the Macy’s Santa Claus weep over bad special effects. At least he left the six little reindeer at home with Mrs. Claus.

Yes, Rondo, we saw the white string hanging off your ears, keeping the beard that looked amazingly like one worn by Trotsky during the Revolution in Moscow, hanging in place.

It’s hard to believe Rondo is a Bolshevik, especially when it comes to million dollar contracts. Things must be hairy in the locker room when Rondo forgets to remove his fake beard and wanders onto the court of public opinion.