UnXplained Returns an Empty

fe, fi, fo, fumble

DATELINE: Been There, Done That

 After a short hiatus in its second season, William Shatner’s UnXplained  is ready to tackle more mysteries, but the latest episode is a dud.

In fact, it may be worse. If you have a sense of déjà vu, it isn’t because you know your Bible stories. This episode is a duplicate of Ancient Aliens  that appeared just a few weeks ago, down to the same stories, illustrations, and standard talking heads.

“Mysteries of the Bible” might seem like Shatner, with wide-eyed skepticism, taking on God, but there is little here of controversy. The usual experts from Ancient Aliens check in with their usual comments. It is either embarrassing or insulting.

Flip the coin.

Both shows zero in on the Book of Enoch, an apocrypha O.T. tale about giants and God sending the flood to rid the human race of these big pests who were perverted the countryside.

There were thousands of these big bad boys seduced little women.

The Bible history is put down to religious factions, various authors, and bad translation. Oh, it tells us about those who dared to put the words into a local language and suffered execution, but this is old hat.

We have the story of the Dead Sea Scrolls also retold without much new insight or latest shocking findings. Maybe there are none. The show takes a few additional pokes at the Ark of the Covenant, the Christmas stories of Jesus, and Gnostic gospels. Nothing new.

We hear as a throwaway that Henry VIII needed his own Bible for political reasons. He wanted a divorce.

Producers are cutting corners by merging the shows with more than less brazen contempt for the audience.

 

Downtown Blast by ET Lizard Conspiracy Theorist

Miss Petula Clark

 DATELINE: Christmas Mess

The dismay and surprise is now palpable over the bombing in Nashville by Anthony Quinn Warner.

An alleged alarm expert, Warner parked his RV in front of AT&T and let off a tremendous explosion on Christmas morning. He apparently did this heinous act when few people were in the area, as if that somehow ameliorated his nutcase action.

Now we have learned that he played on loudspeaker, the seminal 1960s hit song, “Downtown,” by the perky Petula Clark. The actress and singer, now a grande dame, expressed shock that of all the housands of songs, the mad bomber chose her iconic little tune.

“Downtown” has been satirized many times over the decades as a happy song about ghettos, but no one has had the nerve to blow up the downtown of a city. The bomber could have proceeded a few blocks to the Country Western Hall of Fame, but chose not to.

The late actor Anthony Quinn (known for playing Zorba the Greek) would also probably object and wonder why someone named after him would turn into a mad bomber.

We have also learned that Anthony Quinn Warner (no relation to the movie studio however much like a movie it seemed) was a fan of Ancient Aliens. He believed that extra-terrestrial lizard people who lived underground have been trying to take over the Earth. 

We are sure more weird parallels are about to emerge.

 

 

Ancient Aliens Take on Noah & the Great Flood

Ganymede: Boy-napped!

 DATELINE: They’re No Angels!

You can call this week Land of the Giants, Part 2. After looking at the Big Deal of Big Men around Campus, we turn now to a Biblical evidence of angels and cutting problems down to size.

Ancient Aliens love a tall tale. This week we continue to rattle off pie in the sky.

The theory is that Noah was a giant albino, genetically engineered to save mankind from a group of unpleasant giant aliens. And, for good measure, those angels were actually physical beings working as messengers.

So, we have Enoch and some of the first alien abduction stories. This includes Zeus boy-napping Ganymede with a giant eagle for more than prurient reasons. It was truly abduction with an abusive angle.

These are dangerous texts not meant for everyone’s eyes. So, the Hebrew and Christian Bibles were much smaller than the Book of Giants that predates Genesis. It seems those Big Boys weren’t playing nice, being cannibals of human flesh. Noah had to rid the world of these pests.

And, Noah had help: 200 Watchers, who were angels with clipped wings. They were using misunderstood technology to ferry around the world. The Great Flood is more likely to be indicated by geological evidence.

If you’re wondering why there was a Great Flood after the Great Pyramid, you have to look for solar flares that melted the ice caps and flooded the world. This burnt layer is 50 feet deep all around the world, proving the theory, say the alien theorists.

Enoch took off with his alien buds, but announced he’d return eventually.

 

 

 

Big Deal on Ancient Aliens

Dr. Jason Osequeda

 DATELINE:  Tall Tales

Welcome to the Land of the Giants.  In case you are wondering where it is, Ancient Aliens puts the epicenter around the Mediterranean Sea—but these big people spread out, as you cannot keep a big man down.

Noting that the big stone monuments that have survived for thousands and thousands of years were built without tools, they had to be picked up like pebbles on the beach and put into walls, pyramids, and other ancient structures. Only your biggest folks could handle the job.

These big people, giants stood as much as 100 feet tall, which means the dinosaurs would have had a tough time fighting off these hunters.

The general run of giants shrank to more chewable size of ten to twenty feet. Talk about big feet.

Though some believe a race of giants were some kind of mutation that did not last, Ancient Alien theorists expectedly believe these creatures came from outer space to redistribute the planet’s makeup.

They cite legend and myth with some academics who discuss the Cyclops, one-eyed monsters, as a real nationality. If we recall our Greek mythology, the Cyclops met by Odysseus was not too bright, which may explain their soon to be extinction.

Malta seems to be the epicenter of civilizations thousands of years before known developments of the Biblical era. The megalithic structures bear a striking parallel to the Sumerian pyramids, allegedly built by giants from outer space.

Speaking of Lost in Space, actor Bill Mumy who produces Ancient Aliens nowadays used a clip of him as a child star shooting a giant Cyclops he encountered on the pilot episode of his earlier series.

The series uses a couple of new Ph.D.s to tell the stories, including Dr. Linda Enix and Dr. Jason Osequeda, both are most interesting and it might return for future shows. Dr. Bruce Fenton has become a regular.

The most outrageous claim of the episode is that Adam, the first man, was a giant, likely the son of Titans.

 

 

 

Top of the World, Ma!

Madame Blavatsky

DATELINE: Mahatmas & Other Spirits

For the 16thseason of Ancient Aliens we are going sky-high in Tibet, the ceiling of the planet where you are closer to the unknown fly-bys that have christened the population.

The location of a Shangri-La city high up on the roof of the world brings together many legends: physical and non-physical beings who lived for hundreds of years and live with little oxygen.

Of course, this series always goes for the jugular of most outrage: such as the Yeti Snowmen are magical extra-terrestrials. And those who live in that spot where Mount Everest reaches over five miles high are somehow more enlightened than the rest of us. This place is an airport of UFOs from all parts of the universe.

The series offered an insight into Madame Blavatsky, the theosophist who had befriended Mahatma Gandhi. She believed she was in contact with a spiritual creature that she called a Mahatma, or ancient alien being from another dimension.

Her circle included young artist Nicholas Roerich who worked with the Diaghilev ballet around 1910 in Paris. He worked on designs for Nijinsky ballets. He later moved to New York and conducted research in India and Tibet.

The Nazi research connection to Tibet in the 1930s included finding an old iron statue with a swastika on the figure depicted, a Mahatma. In the 21st century, tests on the figure indicated he was sculpted out of a meteorite that likely landed in Tibet.

Experts on the episode revealed a new word, Ultra-terrestrial to describe these travelers of the universe who use Yeti as the guardians to protect their secret base beneath the Himalayan Mountains

 Nicholas Roerich

Isn’t Your Number Divine?

William Sidis-zen

DATELINE:  Baker’s Dozen

Can it really be the sixteenth season of Ancient Aliens?  With the first episode of the new series, we half-expected the Divine Number to be more than twelve. We have come to expect too much too soon.

Yes, they take on the theoretical work of William Sidis, genius from Cambridge and Harvard in 1914, who used a 12-number cycle for his physics. He saw that there were twelve dimensions in the universe, not three.

Even more impressive, there are apparently twelve vortexes around the world, not merely the Bermuda Triangle.

We knew about the 12 apostles and 12 tribes of Israel, but we did not know there were 12 chakras. Call us a day late and a dollar short of twelve hours on the clock.

Whether you go by the shopping dictum of the twelve days of Christmas, or the Twelvth of Never, you may be outnumbered. Move over, Johnny Mathis, it’s not going to happen.

Being contrarian, we waited for the inevitable discussion of a dozen eggs and a dozen donuts. We knew that a baker’s dozen is 13, but not in the world of Ancient Aliens.It is 12 plus one.

You can eliminate all those clunky ten-counts that lead to too many decimals. When he was arrested at a peace rally in 1919, Sidis was sentenced to 12 plus 6 months in a Massachusetts jail, mostly for being flippant with the judge. The jury is still 12 peers who are out for deliberations, but there is only one judge.

Modern science now suggests that the universe is twelve-sided as cosmic significance. It doesn’t take long for Ancient Aliensto note that the United States’ UFO secret body is called Majestic-12, notables secretly in contact with space civilizations. The show hints that Harry Truman deliberately chose 12 members (we theorize because he had a dozen donuts for breakfast).

From DNA to musical notes, we are suffused with twelve ding dongs of knowledge. The series claims that the Mayan calendar predicted FRB (fast radio bursts) and the 12thparticle of physics all in 2012. You had better be able to understand the Book of Revelations to figure out this dipsy-doodle episode.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Ancient Aliens Shows Up on UnXplained!

DATELINE: Cross Pollination of 2 Shows

 Son of Hynek.

 MUFON’s son of BLUE BOOK.

Leave it to History Channel to follow up the best episode in Shatner’s paranormal series with the worst episode, this about UFOs.

Once again we have History shilling its own various series, this time providing a boost for the next in line series,Unidentified, yet another variation on confirming the existence of flying saucers, or tick tacks as they are now called.

Shatner no longer seems quite as mobile, and he is all done up in his black leather suitjacket, but sits for the entire show. Well, it is understandable.

What’s inexcusable is to have him sit there and provide sound bites from the other hit series, Ancient Aliens. And, make no mistake, the experts of that show make a litany of appeances here, like Nick Pope, Richard Dolan, and the ubiquitous Giorgio. You throw in Erich van Daniken, and they are all spouting words they already spouted on the other series.

This cross-pollination continues, but there are some newer bits, like an examination of the 1953 UFO crash (these aliens seem to be bad drivers). It outdoes AATIP’s hosts when Shatner smiles when he talks about visitors from “where no one has gone before.”

One interesting detail is that the son of Project Blue Book chief, Dr. J. Allan Hynek’s son is now in charge of MUFON, the private investigative society of UFOs, and he appears here as one of the experts. We learn on the Unidentified show that he may be a bigwig spy.

Yes, they even force Shatner to use that old chestnut expression from Ancient Aliens several times: he refers to “ancient alien theorists.”  Whoever they are.

We did encounter the expression “superulminal velocity,” which was a new one for us. That must be warp speed.

 

 

 

 

To Believe or To Investigate?

DATELINE: I Want to Believe! 

 Nicks Redfern & Pope

The documentary with the worst title so far this year is I Want to Believe! 

What a pity because it actually might attract more viewers with a better title. Of course, the opening credits undermine it further when the production company is misspelled as “Prodruction.”  Sloppy filmmakers.

Once the film starts, you realize that it is giving us some of the better Ancient Aliensexperts in a different light. Yes, there are our personal favorites Nick Pope, Nick Redburn, and Mike Bara. They are the true stars of this picture—and they dominate the interviews, though a few other lesser knowns offer opinions.

These three usually offer sound-bite one-sentence comments on a specific topic on Ancient Aliens.Here they are allowed to open up—and even explain a bit of their personal history and why they went into this crypto-journalism field of UFOs.

Make no mistake, they do think of themselves not as believers, but as investigators with an open mind.

The term UFO is widely disparaged as it is meaningless since anything unknown in the sky is a UFO. They also tend to respect “professional” witnesses over “abductees” because expertise carries some weight in their investigations. Bara disputes this and thinks the Travis Walton case is highly compelling because six witnesses passed multiple lie detector tests.

As theorists, they tend to lump all paranormal into one or two categories: either governmental disinformation for political motives, or the more interesting—interdimensional beings. Here, whatever culture you find, whether ghosts, orbs, little gray men, a Bigfoot. It is from a time-travel source in our past or parallel universe.

They do not dismiss the idea that an ancient civilization, now long gone on Earth, went to the Moon or Mars, and then eons ago came to an end. Their remnants may be our visitors.

We tend to agree that interdimensional explanations work best to include spirits who may have connections to ordinary people today whom they visit in one form or another.

As an adjunct to Ancient Aliens, we thought this was a more comprehensive consideration, with more attention to details than a fly in the ointment.

American Presidents & UFOs

DATELINE: New Stuff from Ancient Aliens

 Kucinich & Nick Pope

According to Ancient Aliens, one third of all American presidents have had encounters with UFOs. They even mention that Thomas Jefferson, as vice president, wrote up the first report on a UFO crash in Louisiana before 1800 for the American Philosophical Society.

This is a more in-depth look at a subject they have touched upon many times over a dozen years.

The series takes on all the encounters beginning with Washington being given a vision of the future. It seems that the Americans were the chosen people of these aliens—until we dropped the nuclear bombs on Japan.

Since then, it has been touch and go with whatever is out there, perhaps even with orders to shoot them down. Is that what happened at Roswell?

There is a considerable time spent on President Dwight Eisenhower’s three meetings and agreement with the UFO creatures in the early 1950s. The series brings in Eisenhower’s granddaughter who firmly believes this happened.

There is the old story about Richard Nixon and Jackie Gleason going to look at alien crash victims in Florida. Gleason had a large UFO library and even had a house shaped like a flying saucer. As a treat, Nixon brought the Honeymooner to see dead alien bodies.

It seems Nixon was fully briefed on ancient aliens, but not all presidents were given that privilege. Nixon’s breach of security may have led to a clamp down on all future presidents being given info.

The series also starts with Tucker Carlson confronting Donald Trump who said he had an open mind about UFOs—five seconds after saying he was a disbeliever! Hmm.

The series proposes that pro-military Republican presidents were more likely to be briefed on UFOs than Democrats like Clinton and Obama.  George Bush I was actually a CIA director who had access to the MJ12, and likely was a member.

The show said that Dennis Kucinich’s admission as a presidential candidate that he saw a UFO was a career killer. So, Nick Pope takes Kucinich back to the house where the UFO encounter occurred. His private sighting may have undone him.

It is Ronald Reagan who was one of the most vocal and enthusiastic about UFOs, and it did not damage his career or presidency. He wanted to talk about ancient aliens, but his aides kept him quiet, which seems an impossible task. Reagan was allegedly (according to Linda Moulton Howe) about UFOs by CIA.

 

 

UFOs: Bigger and Better than You Realize

 DATELINE: Ultimate Guide

  Is it really an 1870 photo of UFO?

Alien mother ships that are fifteen miles across and 40 stories tall? These cylindrical or cigar-shaped monsters in space have been seen everywhere: from Mount Washington in 1870 (the first UFO photo) to next to one of Mars’ moons in the 1970s.

Yes, the first photo of a UFO was taken in 1870 not far from where Betty and Barney Hill were abducted about a hundred years later.

Ancient Aliensprovides us with a guide this time around. Even Travis Taylor comes back from Skinhead Ranch to tell us that there is more technology than magic in UFOs. And, the usual gang insists that the shapes of UFOs indicate something about the creatures who pilot them.

Another shocker was 2011, a large light hovered over Jerusalem at night at the religious center of most world religions. It also moved away at instant speeds. Acceleration has always been something beyond human abilities (with G-force that would kill organic matter).

Cigar-shaped craft were spotted and painted by witnesses back before Leonardo da Vinci was born.

It means the aliens are either robotic, or are light beings. You know, sort of like orbs. Dr. Kaku thinks they are remote controlled or some system that uses drones or are flown autonomously.

NASA already is preparing to send shape-shifter robots to send to Titan and other distant world to adapt to the world with methane air and sea. They are mechanical adapters—going from triangular to circular. They are also self-replicating to colonize.

Yup, we are them, however ungrammatical.

Ancient Aliens: One Big Commercial

DATELINE: A Barrel of Lunacy?

 Ubiquitous Travis.

We know that History Channel is utterly shameless in its promotion of other series on the channel. This week another show from the producers of the Oak Island treasure show will start their examination of Skinwalker Ranch.

So, of course, Ancient Aliens cannot let the opportunity pass without horning in on the sensation.

So, we have yet another hour-long commercial announcement for a new series from the producers of the Cure of Oak Island, and lo and behold, that old History Channel staple, Dr. Travis Taylor will be host.

UFOs. Weird creatures. Poisonous ground. “Disneyland of the Paranormal,” according to Giorgio. Skinwalker Ranch is named after an indigenous shaman who was Navajo. The natives were driven out in the 1860s by the U.S. military. Yep, we are talking about an evil force in the world. Not exactly the Creature from the Black Lagoon.

Heavily armed guards take care of the property. It sounds like Area 52.

Of course, Skinwalkers are tricksters too. They shapeshift into something else or even invisible and interdimensional. There is rock art in the canyons to show creatures from another world. Many drawings show them coming out of vortexes.

It’s also known as UFO Alley, so we have here a smorgasbord of paranormal treats. Fireballs fly overhead. There are 100s of reports.

Others have seen a Dire Wolf, which has been extinct for 10,000 years, likely meaning time and space is traversed.

Another weird billionaire, Robert Bigelow, bought the place to support his ET searching efforts. He put surveillance everywhere, including security. He won’t reveal his findings.

Ancient Alienstheorizes that there are rips in the fabric of space, allowing odd and dangerous things to enter.

Are there underground space portal bases? Bigelow bailed for unknown reasons. Well, everything is there except the kitchen sink, but maybe the new series will show us that.

 

 

Shapeshifting Shifts Ancient Aliens

DATELINE: UFOs & Dracula 

 Dracula’s Church?

Can it be an accident that History Channel has a new series starting about shapeshifters? And, just by coincidence, Ancient Aliens devotes a show to the bizarre suggestion that visiting aliens have now taken new forms to hide among us! Isn’t that a bad sci-fi movie from a decade ago?

They can become bats like vampires! Or they can pretend to be your family member. These legends seem to have a new connection to shapeshifters from another planet!  Oi vey.

This does give us a chance to see Travis Walter again: you know the famous missing person from Fire in the Sky. He claims the aliens shifted their looks to calm him down during his abduction.

Human looking extra-terrestrials? This is a shapeshifting conspiracy theory. These spies are a new version of a Fifth Column. Ancient Aliens says this is a historical idea right out of your favorite Bible. These changes in “gods” like Zeus want to fool some of the people all of the time.

Yes, shapeshifting is the new date drug. They show up to make time with those babes on the Florida beaches.

This is not hypnosis, but technology—according to our favorite Giorgio. And this technology is the best trick since Halloween extracted candy from neighborhood households. These are your trickster gods.

The greatest shapeshifter from another dimension is the octopus with his multi-brains with weird DNA from another planet. Not indigenous?Oi vey!

Yes, even the cloaking device from Star Trek is a kind of shapeshifting. They also trace the jinn to the Koran—and now we find out that Barbara Eden in I Dream of Jeanniewas a shapeshifter.

Even more interesting, a painting of a UFO over Dracula’s hometown church is 700 years old. Fee-Fi-fo-fum, these creatures eat blood. That’s not all:  the Wolfman, half-man and half-wolf at the full Moon is right out of your UFO.

If you are confused, maybe Ancient Alienshas turned into Skinwalker Ranchbefore our eyes!  Yup, Nick Pope can barely keep a straight face while shifting his shifty argument.

Time Travel Under the Ancient Alien Dome

DATELINE:  Mojave Haven

 Van Tassel Castle

Not too often Ancient Aliens devotes a show to an important person in the UFO business, like Nikola Tesla, Leonardo, or Werner von Braun. This week they have selected the ever-forgotten George Van Tassel on the 8thepisode of season 15.

Van Tassel invented something out in the Mojave Desert forty years ago called the Integratron, a machine that ancient aliens helped him build for time travel, spirit communication, and portals to other dimensions.

Immortality is not what it used to be: Van Tassel was about to announce his invention’s possibilities when he abruptly died at age 67 of an unexpected heart attack. Almost immediately, your favorite federal government gutted the building where immortality lurked.

Van Tassel’s white dome house out in the desert had its guts removed: all those particle trackers and collider stuff were carted off.

As for Van Tassel, his death seemed to be regarded at biting irony for a man who wanted immortality and his premature death was dismissed as fate, rather than cold-blooded murder.

Van Tassel was considered a genius—and among his benefactors was Howard Hughes. And, if he is to be believed, a series of extra-terrestrials who came to him in the desert.

Not surprisingly, he held major outings each year in the 1950s that attracted bigger and bigger crowds, allowing Ancient Aliensto compare him to Moses– of UFOs.

He built his Integratron on Ley Lines, on a latitude with the Great Pyramid, which he also believed served a similar purpose ten or twenty-thousands of years ago. Most intriguing is the resemblance between this building and a depiction of Solomon’s Temple by Raphael, which housed the Ark of the Covenant.

 

 

 

 

Pleiades Ancestors on Ancient Aliens

DATELINE: Your Distant Cousin

Those seven “stars” have been providing inspiration to humans for thousands of years. Now Ancient Aliens is making the case that the famous seven stars of the Pleiades, over 400 light years away, were the original settlers of Earth.

The theory quickly cites all the ancient cultures—from Hawaiians to Southeast Asians, from South America to all parts of the Orient, all sharing a creation story that centers around either ‘seven sisters’ or ‘seven wise men.’

They came to Earth and settled a kind of Pacific Ocean version of Atlantis, which later “sank”. Pilgrims in Tibet still honor these ancestors by climbing the mountains.

Perhaps the most intriguing detail of this episode centers on the Sherpa, those legendary mountain guides (usually connected with the Yeti—your snowman version of Bigfoot). It seems the Sherpa have an extra gene that helps them with oxygen in high places.

Most of us would become sick at high altitudes, but science has now found DNA evidence that the Sherpa have a gene inherited from a long-ago, extinct human species that gives them this extra, almost superhuman ability.

Of course, Giorgia wants to insist that these Pacific islanders were actually living on a large spaceship that took off, did not sink into the ocean.

The building of monuments like pyamids that parallel the Pleiades star cluster are results of worship misdirected. Though you may see seven stars with the naked eye, the systems out there number in the housands. Science now has discovered that many of those stars do indeed have planets.

It appears that the blue skinned Nordic Pleidians did genetic engineering on primitive people to make the human race what it is. Their enemies are the Reptilians. And, according to Ancient Aliens, a big showdown is in the works.

Yes, they are coming back for Armageddon, or something akin in spatial terms. Oh, boy.

 

 

 

 

Shatner’s UnXplained On Oak Island

 DATELINE: Curses, Foiled by UnXplained!

 

Gary & Rick Guests on UnXplained!

Last week we had a special episode of Curse of Oak Island that featured William Shatner visiting and researching. Now, on his own History Channel show, Shatner gives us his conclusions and his perspective on the second season operner of UnXplained.

For openers, Shatner sneers at the thought of a curse preventing hunters from finding the treasure. Shatner is quick to point out that no treasure has ever been found, and that obsession seems to be the operative motivation.

History Channel provides its usual consultants to weigh in on the mystery. And, in fact, they even use the same re-enactments that are endlessly repeated on Oak Island series.

Shatner also spends some time discussing pirates who may have left treasure there—and an equal amount of time on the victims who died in the search, including Robert Restall and his son Bobby. It is reported that the gang of Lagina brothers have spent thousands of work hours—and millions of Lagina dollars on the quest.

This leads to the Knights Templar and evidence of their visits to Oak Island. In fact, Shatner’s show discusses Jacques Demolay and his curse placed on the Templar treasure. It resonates with every treasure hunter.

In fact, UnXplained  brings on a few psychologists who do not speak well of treasure hunters–and Ancient Alien  staples show up to confirm mythology lives on Oak Island.

UnXplained takes the position that the curse of Oak Island is the energy, and dark force, that it imposes on all treasure seekers. Is there paranormal stuff here? For the first time, Marty Lagina admits to having some frightful experiences on the island—which he has steadfastly denied on his own series.

Interesting take by one series on another. Our own relatives who lived near Oak Island a hundred years ago always said it was the treasure of Captain Kidd.