With fingers taped together, Tom Brady looks like cartoon character Elmer Fudd. He only had three fingers too.
Three fingers are all you need when you go hunting for wabbits, especially wascally wabbits. In Tom’s case he must chase purposeful porpoises on Sunday.
Have the Patriots been reduced to cartoon network status? The game may still be on CBS or FOX, but if the New England team continues to play underwhelming football, you can look for them on the Food Channel where you will be able to stick a fork into them at half-time.
For those nostalgia buffs who will always think of the glory days of the first decade of the 21st century, they may find they can relive memories of Super Bowl Patriots on History Channel. Yes, the past is racing away from us faster than a galaxy formed simultaneous to the Big Bang. The Universe TV show is planning a Patriot episode as part of their string theory segment..
The folks who brought you Queer as Folk, the American version, not the shocker with Charlie Hunnam before he bailed on 50 Shades of Grey, may be ready to shock audiences with the tale of eunuch Patriots. The emperor may not wear any clothes, and Logo is betting fans want to see the emperor penguin Brady without any clothes. Logo network has an interest in men undergoing doubts about their male pride.
Arts & Entertainment was an apt location for the masterful games that Tom Brady wove, chiseled, and painted, week after week. He could win in a variety of ways, each an aesthetic marvel to titillate audiences. Alas, the network is canceling the Patriots and picking up the option on repeats of Murder, She Wrote. Angela Lansbury is the only star older than Tom Brady on the network, but she wins every week.
Most embarrassing of all, the NFL Network and Red Zone may drop the Patriots entirely off their online service, owing to the disdain fans are now expressing.
Since the Patriots are now as flighty as New England weather, it seems only fitting they are being picked up as part of the Weather Channel extraneous meteorology features. If you wait a minute, the Pats may change from ice cold to fever pitch. Yet, it looks more and more like a nuclear winter.