DATELINE: Indy, a Space Oddity
The press called him robotic this week, and now the game at Indianapolis has answered the question.
The man who took Julian Edelman to the Montana mountains to experience bears while they practiced this summer showed how fearless he is. Wild horses, nor even wild Colts, could deter him from entering the arena of the enemy.
Tom Brady, automaton for seventeen years in Foxboro, now rivals the HAL series of 2001: A Space Odyssey. While he looks like a man who has been in suspended animation, he is simply football’s Dorian Gray. There is a portrait in his attic that has frayed around the edges.
Brady has outdone David Bowie’s Major Tom. He is the real Captain Tom. Ground Control was a problem for the Patriots—and they seemed to have lost contact with Tom.
Brady is the man who always makes the grade—and the media knows whose Uggs he wears. Ground Control asked Tom to leave the pocket if he dared.
Tom informed Ground Control that he could not leave the pocket unscathed. As he stepped over the line, he felt like he was floating in a most peculiar way. Tom made the stars look different in the Coltish alignment. Bad Luck showed up only once for the Indy team.
The blue uniforms seemed far above the world—in their own quantum universe where fake punts are normal and surprising.
Major Tom stayed quite still. He knew which way to send these space cadets. Ground Control to Major Tom: the Indy Colts’ circuit is dead. There’s something wrong; this time Major Tom heard them loud and clear.
The Colts were sent reeling far above the Moon where no amount of compressed air could save them from the tin can offense they gave.
Ground Control to Major Tom: you are still on schedule for Super Bowl.