Will Success Spoil Tom Brady?

 best buds

DATELINE:  Tony Robbins Extravaganza on Wealth

While former FBI Director James Comey was sticking a knife in the back of Donald Trump, Tom Brady was on stage in Boston giving a peptalk to those willing to pay $3000 to hear his words of wisdom. He did not walk on hot coals as Tony Robbins usually requires.

Based on the notes of Tom’s short speech, he had nothing to say about Donald Trump. Nor did he say a great deal about how he married Big and Beautiful $$$ himself.

That’s one sure way to accumulate wealth fast. In case you are living in a cave, or not a real Patriot fan, Tom’s wife is Giselle Bundchen, the highly successful but retired supermodel.

Tom basically gave his rags-to-riches story in terms of his making every football team where he ever tried out.

In case you didn’t know, he was he was Drew Bledsoe’s back up for a short time. He generously said he learned much from Bledsoe, but we recall that when Bledsoe returned from injury he started acting like Brady.

Someone learned from Tom’s peptalk and he didn’t have to pay an entrance fee. There were plenty of people willing to fork out big bucks to hear this drivel.

Brady admitted he didn’t know how to put on football pads when he first started playing. Fortunately, now he can’t afford to find someone someone to dress him.  They are called personal assistants. To be Tom’s assistant maybe as close as some of these rich folks in the audience will come to success.

We suspect that the audience of millennial’s, as young as they are, are already too old to follow and Tom’s footsteps. That is unless you want to marry money.

Julian Edelman was there as Brady’s personal sidekick and gadfly.  Edelman worships the ground Tom walks on, and apparently sells the sod to those who want to touch greatness.

Julie E has a chip on his shoulder as he told the audience. He had to work for everything he has. It takes a great deal of work to keep everyone away from his good friend Tom Brady. That’s how you remain the best friend (by taking the role of Richard III).

If you missed the Tom Brady/Julian Edelman talk on success, you didn’t miss much. You would’ve learned a great deal more by listening to former FBI Director Comey as he detailed how Tom’s good friend tells lies, plain and simple. And we don’t mean Tony Robbins.

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Twin Peaks, Trump Plains, & Celtics Lows

DATELINE:  LeBron James as Laura Palmer, Trump as D.B. Cooper

glowing orb

Chicken or egg? We can’t figure out if the Trump Administration has prepared us for the new series Twin Peaks, or whether Twin Peaks has prepared us for the continuing weirdness of the Trump presidency.

When we see President Trump putting his hands on a glowing orb, we know there is a conspiracy of billionaires to control the world. Of course, it is merely a futuristic ribbon-cutting scene from the most recent Star Wars movie. Either that, or it is opening a gateway to an alternate universe, like the plots of Twin Peaks.

By the same token, we feel as if watching the Cleveland Cavaliers with the Boston Celtics is like knitting by Madame Defarge while royalty is having their heads chopped off.

On Twin Peaks, agent DB Cooper has returned to the northwest after disappearing for 25 years. That David Lynch has such a sense of humor.  So far, McLachlan has not rubbed any glowing orbs, but has kissed dead Laura Palmer (Cheryl Lee).

On the Celtics, little Cousin IT (Isaiah Thomas) and AB (Avery Bradley) are from the same neck of the woods in Washington state which happens to be the setting for Twin Peaks. It could explain a lot about how the Celtics are playing like Laura Palmer’s body wrapped in plastic.

Even stranger, we were amazed to see Kyle McLachlan and Sheryl Lee looking just like they stepped out of a 1990s TV show.  It becomes even more amazing when David Lynch has to inject a phrase at the end of every episode of the show that the episode is dedicated to the memory of one of the cast members who is now dead. We mean really really dead dead, like the log lady Catherine Coulson and the FBI agent played by Miguel Ferrer.

As for the dead Celtics, they are merely playing in an alternate universe, sort of like Twin Peaks 25 years later. If there is a glowing orb in the NBA, they better start rubbing it now. Lebron is no Laura Palmer.

Boston Celtics New Season of Also-Rans

DATELINE: Nothing Doing

doomsday twilight zone

You could say the Boston Celtics chose the wrong day, wrong place, and wrong year to open their pre-season. They were in Amherst, Massachusetts, but it was a home game for the Philadelphia team.

It was the night when the two vice presidential candidates debated—and still the Celtics could not draw more than 4000 fans in the big Mass. College town.

The vanilla ice cream personalities of the player candidates seemed to mock their career bending decisions to defend their deplorable running mates. Talk about a basket full of bad omens. We think we are talking basketball, right?

Hurricane Matthew just blew through devastated Haiti with 140mph winds and 40 inches of rain, on the way to canceling political events in Florida and the east coast of the United States. Only issues of transgender bathrooms can cancel basketball games.

The Celtics were overshadowed by the Red Sox preparing to go into the post-season, and the Patriots preparing to start the GOAT QB after four weeks in Elba.

It was a night when Tom Brady posted a photo of himself in a t-shirt urging David Ortiz to reverse his retirement decision. Tom seemed not to notice you can’t put toothpaste back into the squeezed tube, or pump air into a career season clearly over.

It was the place where the Celtics imitated a 1960s team that shocked the nation by locking arms during the National Anthem. They did it again, this time to show America was together in black and white.

They obviously didn’t see the vice presidential candidates rent the nation in a way even Solomon couldn’t put back together. The nation’s proverbial baby has gone out with the bathwater. Humpty Dumpty, help us.

The Celtics lost the game, and the media insisted it was a new start with great players. The witnesses to corroborate this ran from few to none, being preoccupied with life elsewhere.

Basketball players looked like odd men out on this night.

 

 

 

Clinton/Curry Versus Trump/LeBron

DATELINE:  Winners Take the Cake

enough already

                                                   NOT BIRD & MAGIC

You may have noticed that the negative feelings toward the presidential candidates, Hilary and Donald, rival the negative feelings toward the presumptive NBA champs, Steph and LeBron.

It’s a negative year for sure.

Curry may be a media darling, but he has worn out his welcome. And LeBron has always been insufferable. It should remind you about the way the media handles Clinton and Trump.

In the NBA Finals, the referees are the objective arbiters of winning and losing. Heaven help us! We already saw these zebras lay the groundwork for a Curry victory in the semi-finals, though the NBA claims their games are not fixed.

We can’t imagine the presidential election being fixed, though we think the media has played the role of NBA referees with all the aplomb of fixers.

Who voted for the referees?

We have only ourselves to blame if the more unpopular candidate becomes president. The process has been fixed by super-delegates.

We are sick of Curry and James enough to expect them to become running mates for Clinton and Trump. That would make for a ticket with a price higher than a court-side seat for Game 7 of the NBA Finals.

The winner of the Curry-LeBron battle will come soon. And they both will go into oblivion for the rest of the summer, not soon enough. They are not Bird & Magic, and won’t be having any Broadway plays written about their friendship/rivalry.

In the presidential race, the losing candidate will go into oblivion forever—but we will be stuck with the winner for four more years.

 

Muhammad Ali & Ronald Reagan: American Eagles

DATELINE: Birds of a Feather

reagan & ali

In the mid-1960s two men we admired were considered lightweights, irreverent wannabes, and actually despised in many circles. They were red flags on a snowy field. They stood out, but were considered jokes.

We refer to Ronald Reagan and Cassius Clay. Their respective worlds of politics and boxing were vanilla ice cream when they began to emerge from the wings.

Reagan was a second-rate movie star who did television hosting, and Clay was a blabbermouth walking joke in sports.

Within a few years Reagan was elected governor and Clay became a champion, but that did not guarantee respect. It grew worse when Clay became Muhammad Ali and resisted the Vietnam War and claimed to be a conscientious objector.

Reagan saw his conservative roots battered in the Goldwater defeat, and his California political career was considered a fluke.

By the end of the next decade, they had moved on to becoming social giants, icons of Americana. They crossed paths in the 1980s at their peaks.

Yet, in old age, the cruelty of life and influence turned on them.

Reagan’s conservative Republicanism was hijacked by extremists, and the peace that Ali thought was part of Islam was taken over by jihad terrorists.

Each man also suffered the debilitating effects on body and mind of disease: Alzheimer’s and Parkinson’s, that robbed them of strength and acuity in their last years.

The world each man hoped to change went awry from their original goals, but we have to admire each for their resolute attempt to do their best for humanity.

 

 

Cruz Throws Up a Brick at the Basketball Ring

DATELINE: Ted Hears a Hoo-sier

 

Ted Cruz scored a ringer today. He thought he just scored a Pacer moment in Indianapolis.

Unfortunately, he was talking about basketball, not horseshoes.

In a valiant attempt to pander to voters in Indiana, Ted Cruz commented about a “basketball ring.”  At first we thought he was referring to some kind of championship trophy worn on the finger.

Our second guess was that a “basketball ring” is a metaphor using colorful language to suggest a parallel between the sport and politics.

However, it was far more egregious than that. Ted Cruz thought he was talking hoops. It was like talking Esperanto to a Cajun and not knowing there was a difference.

According to some, Canadian Cruz never saw a basketball game in his life—and the netted hoop at the end of the gymnasium looked like a ringer to him.

We know that some people in Canada play basketball because one of our favorite flakes, Kelly Olynyk, is a dead ringer for a basketball player. We think he is a remarkable hoopster too.

Don’t lean on us too hard if we can’t think of other basketball players from Canada. We suspect Ted Cruz can’t even name one.

He may know his horseshoe moves, however, being from Texas where the cheerleaders all throw leaners when in Dallas.

A few wags are now saying that in an effort to outdo Trump (with an endorsement from Bobby Knight), Cruz decided to play HORSE with his opponent—and wound up as the horse’s rear end, no leaning involved.

Gronk To Host TV Series

DATELINE: Believe It or Not


 

Gronk is going small.

Instead of signing a contract to play the next James Bond (not as far-fetched as it seems), Gronk has decided to tackle the small screen as a series host on cable television.

Celebrities as hosts of paranormal shows is standard, but Gronk intends to be the star of Crashletes, a show that cheaply will take YouTube moments of young athletes in bone-crushing moments of hilarity. It’s right up his alley.

The show will demand that Gronk use all his wit and wisdom to comment on the clips that will be shown on the Nickolodeon network, indicating that Gronk’s audience will be voters in about ten years. And Gronk does not need to wear zebra stripe pants to find attention.

This should mean when Gronk is ready to go big screen, his young followers will have the means and motives to follow him. We would not be surprised to see Gronk run for president in 2028. If Trump can do it, so can Gronk.

Gronk has clearly found his métier in the show business realm. He has done various talk shows as a personality, and his TV commercials are always entertaining. He calls himself one-take Gronkowski because he hits his marks and never flubs (who could tell the difference?) when he performs.

We have always contended that Gronk’s movie career as a kind of Terminator is down the road after he plays out being a tight end for New England. Already he has expanded his fan base far beyond New England, football, and youngsters.

The only impediment would be a stint in AA, but come to think of it—that has never been an impediment in show business.

More Baloney from Fox Sports on Brady and Kraft

DATELINE: Liberal Fox Sports?

Fox Sports Dunking the Tea Party?

 

For those with an interest in believe it or don’t, Fox Sports struck out again with a new way to insult Patriot fans and attack Tom Brady and his owner.

Some writer called Arielle Aronson, a pseudonym if you ever chose one, complained that Patriot fans were incensed that Robert Kraft and Tom Brady consider Donald Trump a friend.

Now, the article went on to interview a handful of voters from the “liberal leaning fan base” of the Patriots to criticize Tom and Kraft for not studying the issues or disappointing their fans.

Of course, the writer failed to notice that Trump won in Massachusetts with about 50% of the vote. It seems like there are fewer liberal leaners in Massachusetts than in horseshoes.

People angry with the system seem to support Trump—and Deflategate seems to make many fans angry with the system of the NFL.

Kraft and Brady did not actually express support for Trump, nor did they claim to vote for him. They said he was an intensely loyal friend who had stood by them in dark days, which was greatly appreciated.

Why would that incense Patriot fans? The sort of people this writer spoke to (if they aren’t her relatives) probably are not football fans (Neanderthals to liberals) or Patriot fans (who can’t tell a tea party from a Tea Party bag).

A few anti-Trump people feared that Brady and Kraft had unusual powers over the weak-willed fans and could influence the way they vote.

So, this resulted in a headline worthy of our best trolling efforts that claimed fans were blasting the Patriots.