35% of Americans: What a Fox News Poll Never Told Us!

 DATELINE:  When 35% is a Majority 

According to Foxy News, 35% of viewers know their bastion of fair and balanced news is fake most of the time.

“Oh, let’s call a spade a spade,” is the motto of 35% of Foxy Americans when it comes down to racial epithets.

35% of Americans seem to think nuclear obliteration is a viable option.

35% of Americans agree that they learned nothing in school and don’t believe their teachers knew much anyhow.

35% of Americans think experts are overrated.

35% of Americans believe anything they read on the Internet.

35% of Americans think hurricanes are God’s punishment for opposing Donald Trump.

35% of Americans want to have another Civil War with East and West Coast against the Middle to have better balance.

35% of Americans think the US Constitution sank during the War of 1812—and it just doesn’t hold up in the 21st century court system.

35% of Americans think satire is evil.

35% of Americans believe Donald Trump is as sane as they are.

35% of Americans, more or less, believe rational behavior is not normal.

Around 35% of Americans believe “white supremacist” is a kind of Cool Whip topping.

35% of Americans think the word “immigration” means birds fly south for the winter because of global warming.

35% of Americans believe “lethal injection” is covered under pre-existing conditions in Obamacare.

35% of Americans think black flies matter during the summer when you go camping.

35% of Americans believe sexual harassment is as American as apple pie and baseball.

35% of Americans firmly believe “morons” should have unlimited access to the Oval Office.

35% of Americans believe the President has the right to shoot people in the street, regardless of national origin or race, but mostly because of national origin and race.

35% of Americans believe you can kneel during the National Anthem while in church.

35% of your fellow citizens believe shutting off TV news is the only way to deal with fake news.

35% of Americans think missppelling and ‘grammer misstakes are covered, under freedom of speech:

35% of Americans think polls are polarizing and should be banned from media reports.

The preceding blog is often called satire, but is usually misunderstood by readers who believe 35% of smartphones know too much.

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Roger Goodell Has To Go

 DATELINE: Humor Afoul

 

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The NFL is damning the torpedoes and proceeding full steam ahead. Unfortunately, those torpedoes will sink the league. The iceberg is dead ahead.

The Players Union now insists that Roger Goodell is orchestrating a blatant smear campaign. Yes, Jeffrey Kessler’s brief filed for Judge Berman used the term “smear”. If these men were running for president of the United States, we have seen and would expect this level of civility between Donald Trump and Rand Paul.

As it stands, the NFL argues that the Commissioner can do whatever he wants—regardless of fairness or of evidence. And, he thinks Brady should be suspended. End of story.

If this were a Kafka novel, you might expect this illogic to reign. We hope Goodell wakes up one morning soon and discovers he has turned into a giant cockroach. That too is a Kafka novel plot.

There are people of pinhead mentality that will accept and never understand the injustice that Roger Goodell has fomented with his vile attitude.

It seems Goodell’s unreasonable position has benighted logic to it. He can say he stood firm—but the judge threw out his findings. He can hold his head high for self-styled morality and the right of kings.

Even King John was forced to sign the Magna Carta, but Goodell probably doesn’t know how to write. We know he could not read the evidence. We know his level of scientific knowledge is from the Dark Ages. We know an imbecile on steroids when we see one.