DATELINE: BREAKING NEWS!
Before and After a Little Work
Tom, we hardly knew ye.
There may be many ways to deal with one’s 38th birthday—or Deflategate fallout.
Take Tom Brady for instance. He apparently accompanied his wife to Paris sometime this summer for a secret rendezvous with the best face workers in the business.
All that criticism of the court artist Jane Rosenberg appears unfounded, as she simply drew the new Botox Brady. He does not look quite the same as before as the after picture shows. We’ve seen bad Hollywood surgeons at work. We all remember Michael Jackson, Meg Ryan, and Mickey Rourke.
However, we never thought we’d have to add Tom Brady’s name to the A-list of Sunset Boulevard specters
Though he had a few wrinkles and crinkles around his eyes and deep into his brow, he still had that boyish handsomeness. Now, he is smooth, like a Photoshopped Youtube darling. And, he is chiseled, but somehow it does not look quite right.
We almost feel like the botox won’t let him crack a smile or frown, lest he smash into a thousand tiny bits. We fear that Tom may now have to start shaving about two inches behind his ears.
We will no doubt be castigated by fans who disbelieve their eyes. Worse, we will be told it is none of our business about the cosmetic work done to maintain youth and vigor in the private life of Tom Brady.
We could not agree more. We merely point out that, as we always do, that the emperor has no clothes. It always turns out to be more embarrassing for us than for the Emperor.
We love Tom Brady, and he earned all those wrinkles, crinkles, and sags and bags. We will miss them.