Brady Humiliates Belichick

SuperTom’s botox image

DATELINE:  Botox Notwithstanding

You cannot put any fancy spin on this: Tom Brady has willed himself into another Super Bowl, his tenth, while his nemesis coach will be sitting home watching on TV.

On a bad team, the Buccaneers, where everyone claimed Brady would flounder, he took his TB Tompa Bay mentality to the limits. He raised the dead and cleansed the lepers. Tom is heading to Super Bowl LV at age XLIII. He sounds like the ultimate pope to poop on the Patriots.

There will be no nachos and parity party at the Belichick house where his fake coach sons and he will stew in their own juices. Brady will adorn himself with youthful passing whilst bypassing Belichick.

Belichick had no use for Brady and threw him out with the trash. He refused in the final few years in Foxboro to pay any receivers or keep any that Brady liked or preferred. He had a hit list, and the last name on it was Tom.

This is not to take any humiliation away from Robert Kraft, the baloney-ridden owner of the Patriots and his awesome and legendary (in his mind) franchise. With the lowest payroll, it finally bit the dust.

Maybe we will hear that Kraft has taken solace in some seedy massage parlor and Belichick has hired new videographers for next season.

New England looks like a frozen tundra next to Tompa Bay.

It doesn’t matter when the New England Patriots said Tom Brady was ready for the knackers yard.  It appears the tables have turned, and the Russian roulette bullet chamber is squarely spinning on Belichick’s brain-trust. “In Bill we trust”  now seems to be the mantra of idiots.

Tom Brady at 43 has turned Belichick into a man who might well consider his Social Security as the soft landing spot to blow out his overblown legend. This has not been a good year for Trump supporters, rioters, or Patriot coaches.

 

 

 

Belichick Declines Trump’s Medal

Thanks and No Thanks

DATELINE:  Hard Man Makes Harder Decision

We may never know how much angst and conflict New England Patriot coach Bill Belichick suffered in coming to his decision to turn down the Medal of Freedom. A few have pointed out that he did not actually turn it down, but may have faced forces in the sports world that required him to say, “no.”

The honor came from a political ally whom he supported once upon a time. Today is not a time to be nostalgic for past loyalty when present conditions may be dubious.

It is a prestigious award, and under normal circumstance, it would be the culmination of honor in a life. Yet, after sedition broke out in the Capitol and some died as a result, the 6-time winner of the Super Bowl knew that honor and flattery must never cover up a cynical attempt to be used by a friend for political reasons.

Yes, it’s true that Belichick would look like a man who condoned a set of values that might reverberate in negative ways among players and fans.

Though he always disdains media, the New England fixture cannot lose sight of the prize: his eye is on the sparrow, not the fake glory that comes from accepting a tarnished award.

It may be that another president will give him this honor. We hope so. Representing the concept of American victory in sports may not be what some consider a worthy reason. Perhaps not, but Trump has given this award to plenty of people who never deserved it.

Some have accepted the award under dubious clouds, like Rep. Jim Jordan, a water-boy, not a coach whose career and attitude belie the Medal of Freedom. Others could return the honor, like Boston Celtic legend Bob Cousy, but he hasn’t.

We apologize for thinking Belichick a lesser man.

Trump’s Alamo Visit

Cheaters United

 DATELINE: Taking Belichick Down with Him

All metaphors are imperfect, and nothing could be more imperfect than the notion of Trump at the Alamo. It’s the ultimate union of insanity and patriotism.

The fighters who died to the death at the Alamo wanted to have a separate country in Texas. They were the original Republicans.

In movies and TV, you saw John Wayne and Fess Parker play their careers to the hilt of martyrdom on the screen. And, now the disgraced POTUS who instigated sedition and high crimes on a level with Aaron Burr wants to play himself as the end closes in.

He makes it worse for his supporters when he decides to give the Ultimate New England Patriot, Bill Belichick, a gift for his support; the Medal of Freedom as one of his last disgusting acts. It’s typical for a man who started his political rise by bashing Mexicans as rapists and drug dealers and ends with the symbol of a wall against Mexico at the bastion where Mexican soldiers  killed Davy Crockett and Jim Bowie.

Belichick intends to visit the White House as the Congress votes a second impeachment of Trump. Who is the mad man here? We count Belichick among the NFL cheaters with Spygates 1 & 2 and Trump with Impeachment 1 & 2.

And, now, the Patriots should fire Belichick, sacrifice to the cause of a coup d’etat,the supporter of Trump and coach of historical arrogance and now hostage to his own hubris.

Losing the season, losing Tom Brady, and losing his mind, Bill Belichick now will regain infamy by going to the White House and accepting honor from a man who has made honor a badge to kill legislators at the U.S. Capitol, and claim he was a victim of voters.

If the owners of the Patriots do not fire Bill Belichick for this egregious act, then we have the demise of a franchise, self-perpetuated by the Kraft family (Trumpists too and big lonely New England supporters of the American Hitler) in the most of antithetical states standing against Trump: New England went overwhelmingly for anybody but Trump.

We are watching the spectacle of the last gasp of a political movement and the gasping greed of a sports dynasty. America never had it so wrong and may be sinking into its own miasma of Nazism, white supremacy, and stupidity.

Tom Brady Petition: Give Back That $$$

Brady’s Disgusting Loan from Trump

DATELINE: TB12 Fake Loan

 We complained in several blogs, but only Dillon McMahon has actually done something about it. He now is approaching 75,000 signatures on a petition that protests the SBA loan Tom Brady received out of need to meet his payroll of one.

Tom Brady, multi-millionaire and his semi- billionaire model wife received, as Trump supporters, nearly a hefty loan for their small business, TB12, which sells copper-infused pajamas, and various vitamins.

Now a petition on Change.org is demanding they give back that money, repay it, or do something to help the millions of poor with no rent money or food money.

Brady, slimeball that he is, took the loan and promptly went out and bought a yacht for his new Indian Creek Island home. If that weren’t galling enough, on Xmas Eve, he sold his Massachusetts mansion for about $30 million.

Yes, he needs a loan like the Kansas City Chiefs need a young quarterback.

If you have a moral scruple, you will go to Change.org and sign the Brady petition. It may not have much power except to embarrass a slug.

 

Indian Creek Island v. Carson Beach in Southie

Exclusive Means Expensive

DATELINE:  Never New England

It’s not exactly Boston’s resort, Southie’s Carson Beach, and it has a politically incorrect name, but it is home to the richest, most exclusive snobs in America. No one has proposed dropping the offensive “Indian” name.

Just call it Billionaires A-Go-Go!

Indian Creek Island now has infamy. Tom Brady and his almost billionaire wife have purchased property there, will tear down the present house, and build something suitable to their royal status.

Apparently the property and lousy house on the grounds belonged to the late Don Shula, Miami Dolphins coach, which is why Tom couldn’t live there without striking down an undefeated seasonal mansion.

Some of the other hoity-toity neighbors on the exclusive and police-guarded island include Julio Inglesias, and Beyonce was just beyond ownership till she sold out.

Inglesias just sold a plot of land to Ivanka Trump for about $30million. There, she and hubby Jared Kushner plan to build their love-nest as she contemplates running for senator from Florida.

This will also mark a mismatch of sorts with her old rejected beau, Brady. It seems 15 years ago President for Life Trump tried to arrange a marriage between Tom and Ivanka, but they went in other directions. Brady has maintained his political friendship with the disgraced coup d’etat president.

Now, all will be reunited in filthy lucre and with private docks for their yachts. The manses circle a large golf course and country club with an exclusive membership of 30 or so residents.

Tom Brady, who hated New England where he could not golf for most of the year, will have a course behind his bungalow of 25 rooms. No hoodies allowed.

We are not sure if the area has sniper nests to prevent unwanted visitors, or just gun turrets along the fancy road that encircles this billionaire bunker.

With neighbors like Rick Pitino as a sports buddy for Tom, and with Elle McPherson as a model buddy for Giselle, you have home, sweet home.

 

 

 

Grifting with Tom Brady

Grifter and Deflater

 DATELINE:  He Needs the $$$

How much does it pay to be a friend of Donald Trump?

For Tom Brady it has provided him with a government grant of one million dollars for his “small business.” This revelation was just released by the Small Business Administration, as the Trump crooks are heading for the exits.

Yes, believe it or don’t, Tom Brady actually applied for a loan to help his company TB12, with its copper infused pajamas, various vitamins and nutritional aids, and body coaches, for financial hardship. He couldn’t meet his payroll because his nearly billion dollar personal fund is tied up in personal assets, like abandoning New England and finding a warm weather cubbyhole.

Over 50% of small businesses were turned down for this PPP program. How is it that a man who has made hundreds of millions as an athlete and for product endorsement was entitled to a loan, while others went hungry?

Not to mention, because it is unfair, but Tom’s wife is worth a cool half-billion, yes, billiondollars.

Gisele Bundchen who hated Boston and New England made a fortune as a model, and advised her husband to move to Tampa—to jettison the Patriots. Florida is a tax-free state, and he preferred that to paying in Massachusetts.

Of course, Tom admits he listens to her business advice, not because she wears the pants in the family, but because he is such a push-over.

Tom Brady has proven he is an untrustworthy grifter. In case you are unaware, grifters are also known as chiselers, defrauders, gougers, scammers, swindlers, and flim-flam men. Next to this definition is a picture of Tom.

 

While many super-rich businesses have returned or refused the PPP (paycheck protection loans), Tom did not. He’s not alone. Sharks like low-life agent Scott Boras also took the money and ran.

You have to be a big MAGA supporter and a personal slug to win this kind of graft from grifters.

 Pictured: Grifter

Brady the Sore Loser Meets Trump the Sore Loser!

DATELINE: Great in Eye of Beholder

After Tom Brady’s loss on Monday Night Football, he was largely castigated for being a “sore loser.” It seems he left the playing field without shaking the hand of the opposing and winning quarterback’s hand.

Immediately a hue and cry from those conservative fans came about a bad image for children to see, and how Brady was not a GOAT in a country of MAGA.

You have to know Tom from 20 years in New England to understand his attitude. This man is acting out the same way his candidate for president has. Trump is Brady’s friend and president.

What’s good for the QB is good for the POTUS. You don’t hear these anti-Kaepernick fans castigating Trump for being a sore loser, for claiming his victory was stolen, for demanding that the whole game is rigged.

Like his mentor president, Brady left liberal New England with its social conscience and high taxes for a land of warmth and no taxes. He even brags he never wears a hoodie any more…take that, Belichick.

Bad losers are endemic to Brady and Trump. They are birds of a losing feather, just think of Deflategate and Mail-ballot-gate.

The tantrums you see from Trump and Brady are part of what you see as greatness in sports and politics, small-minded losers!

 

Boston Sinks in the Fenway Miasma

Gone with the Victories

 

DATELINE: Run Out of Town, Fast

Flush twice, Boston. It’s a long way to the bottom of the septic tank.

It would appear only two people recognized how bad Boston’s sports teams would be this year: the two stars who bailed on the town they never liked. We speak of Mookie Betts (World Series victor) and Tom Brady (another Super Bowl in Tompa Bay).

Every sports pundit and media expert in Boston failed to see the writing on the wall. Maybe they just can’t read Sanskrit or profanity.

Some are now casting blame on the genius Bill Belichick. Those people have clearly thought genius and hubris were synonyms. Belichck systematically disarmed Tom Brady over the years until the man ran off with Antonia Brown, deserting his Julie in the process. 

The Red Sox threw a boatload of money at Mookie and he gave them the finger, not the thumbs up. Some claim these Trump supporters hated Boston’s political climate—as does Belichick. And owners who poured cash into winning, now are extracting cash faster than you can say Trump Tower bankruptcy.

Only Robert Kraft who likes to kiss his players’ butt has been caught with his pants down. John Henry has become the Claude Rains of Boston We used to see him at Symphony Hall now and then with a beautiful young man in tow, but the pandemic seems to have put the kibosh on those tunes.

Now we have a Bean Town full of beans and no counters to the problem of no beanie balls.

We are headed back to the 1960s when Patsies played at Fenway to empty seats and the Sox played to the same group in the other season.

No one believes us when we tell them about the good old days  when you could go to Fenway on game day and find a box seat two rows back from the field. Maybe those days are coming baaaack.

 

 

N.E. Patriots Meet a Slump, a Speed Bump, and a Pothole

Lady Luck!

DATELINE:  Going Down!

Mother of Mercy, can this be the end of the Patriot juggernaut of two decades? The road to glory seems to have run out of pavement.

After a glorious 20-year run, spending most of the time in first place in the hearts of Patriots Nation, the home town team seems to have hit a bump in the road. At least there are no sinkholes ahead. They are sinking in one now.

Yes, the Patriots are no longer in sole possession of the top spot to the playoffs. They are in their first slump of of the 21stcentury. When your first slump comes with the dog days of a pandemic, you are about to find cause to worry that rivals the Black Death in sports.

The last time a Patriots team came into a prolonged slump, they went into the poop chute faster than you can say Shaeffer Stadium.

We are more inclined to worry this time. There is no way they can equal the sinking of the titanic teams of the 1970s, which stands as a benchmark of hubris. We saw the past, and the future looks much the same.

This time their QBs have gone soft. We have not exactly seen a team with endless TD power, but their ability to make timely scores has lost more games than expected.

Now the dinner bell, like the guns over Flanders Field, have gone silent. Scarce heard below are the dead Pats of previous seasons hoping the present underdogs have caught the torch and will hold it high.

Short days ago the Patriots won, Brady looked younger than youth, and Bill Belichick looked like a genius, but now the Pats are starting to look like the embalmed teams of the yesteryear, or like the Jets.

Cheer up, fans! This may be only an aberration on the road to the Super Bowl. . A team with character knows their fate is in the hands of Bill Belichick and Cam Newton.

Move over, Black Death. The Pats need more room.

Candlelight Dinner with Patriots

 DATELINE: Hot Time in New England

When we heard a wife of a New England Patriots player has denied her husband had dinner out with another player, we became intrigued.

The wife is always the last to know, and in New England, your sports radio maggots can be found under foot everywhere.

Yes, Cam Newton and Stephon Gilmore may be the most beautiful men on the team: each is a star on the opposite side of the ball. Heavens, is it a match? Did Gilmore take pity on lonely Cam whose family is half-way across the country?

We know that if Cam had dinner with Julian Edelman, it would be playing favorites, supplanting himself in the heart of Tom Brady’s former matchmate. However, Cam is too smart for that: he keeps his dinner companions outside the arena where you might be called out for being out with a favorite.

Stephone and Cam may be up a tree, but they are not out.

No one is posting an incriminating photo over sushi. No one is finding them sharing a bucket of chicken wings.

 And, now Gilmore’s wife has weighed in, denying that she is a co-respondent or a woman scorned. She never admitted she was hiding under the dinner table, or the bed. But she knows the true story, at least according to what her husband tells her.

Oh, both men will be back in uniform for Sunday, and no one is asking if they will be sharing a Big Mac or an Egg McMuffin in the pre-game morning.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

  

 

 

 

 

Tom Brady at Skinwalker Ranch

Tom Brady at Skinwalker Ranch

Brady’s Custom Spaceship Now for Sale!

Tom Brady continues to divest himself of all things New England. Latest is his used vehicle, a customized spaceship that brings heart-warming memories back to the aging quarterback.

It can be yours for $300,000. Not since the Aaron Hernandez Death-Mobile went up for sale on eBay has there been such a chance for Patriots fans.

Among the amenities, this vehicle is super re-enforced to protect Brady against bad New England drivers. You may not recall he was involved in a car crash on the way to Gillette Stadium early in his career. After that, he wanted super-reinforced electromagnetic, interdimensional protections.

Now we presumed he worried about terrorists and kidnappers against his family, but now living in Trump country where there are no taxes and Gulf Breeze is a familiar jumping off point, he no longer needs insured protection: unless it is against space abductions by rival aliens and lost time (an important commodity for Tom).

Yes, the vehicle exceeds all U.S. Crush and Crash Resistance Laws. Unfortunately, this gas guzzler will need plenty of fuel as it goes about 3000 feet on a gallon of high octane.

This vehicle has propulsion that can travel to the stars with stars: it’s not just another pimpmobile where Julie Edelman and cronies can pile in.

Yes, this vehicle can transcend warp speed and has even been seen emerging from orange portals at Skinwalker Ranch, lending credence to the notion that Tom Brady is a shape-shifter as well as a shifty guy.

The custom seating will accommodate Brady in whatever form he takes in his universal time travels. Oh, yes, this car exceeds the DeLorean abilities of going back to the future. Tom has maintained his youthful appearance by using the vehicle as a hyperbolic time chamber in his copper-fused pajama spacesuit.

There is enough headroom in this vehicle that the Apollo astronauts would be envious.

Though it has been deceptively created to appear to be a Cadillac Escalade, it is a vehicle once filmed by AATIP jet pilots on scramble over Catalina Island.

Among standard modifications are six-way electro-magnetic chargers that gently provide you with immortality while reclining in the electric leg rests.

“Parting ways with my UFO won’t be easy. From day one it became my sanctuary from the outside noise,” the Tompa Bay Buccaneer star is quoted as saying in the listing. He hopes that the next owner will feel like Superman, a strange visitor from another planet who may also use the disguise of an NFL GOAT to hide his true identity.

 

Tom Brady: Oh, Say, Can You See?

 DATELINE:  Charitable De-pants of Brady

 Splitsville for Tom? Pulling an Elvis?

Tom Brady’s golf game has brought a split decision. It was a new low for the Super Bowl man without a pocket.

The big televised charity golf tournament with Peyton Manning, Phil Mickelson and Tiger Woods, came apart at the seams during the match.

It seems Tom Brady bent over and found himself flying by the seat of his pants. How could a man so thin break the laws of physics? Or maybe he just broke the wind speed for a tee-off swing.

We haven’t seen such roughage to a wardrobe since Janet Jackson pulled her prank. Yes, Tom, we see you for all your worth. He needed his copper-infused pajama pants to play the rest of the game.

If we recall clearly, Elvis used to regularly split his pants in his final concert tour. Some believe it was sewn into the act.

Tom needed a diversion, and a pair of Sponge Bob’s pants fit the bill, harry, and tom. Underneath it all, there came a subpar moment in sports history. This seemed to parallel Spygate, Deflategate, and the general run of fake news.

Now this has nothing on Trump on Memorial Day, swaying in the breeze like the American flag. Supporters wanted to support the unsteady President who played golf the day before and showed his handicap: standing still.

In front of the Unknown Soldier during a ceremony, Trump looked like a man who had a few too-many swigs of Clorox before the game. He needed his club to act as a walker. We expect to see Trump split voters and pants, but never Tom Brady, his ardent supporter friend.

We gasped to see what color Tom’s undies might be: at least he wore undies, unlike some NFL players on Sunday games day.

Tom’s world tour of torn pants and broken promises will continue in Tompa Bay where the sea breeze will send a cooling cool to the Elvis stunt.

Tom Brady: Knock on Any Door

DATELINE: Knock Three Times and Use the Secret Password.

 Ring a Ding Ding?

There was a famous Hollywood crime movie starring Humphrey Bogart called, Knock on any Door. It seems to have suddenly become the mantra of Tom Brady. In the immortal words of Maynard G. Krebs, “You rang?”

The former New England Patriot packed up his kit bag and headed to Tampa Bay or Tompa Bay, and he is the big man on Tompas.

However, he is still metaphorically and literally a man asea. He went to visit a coach and simply opened the door to a home and entered. You guessed it! It was the wrong address and the wrong party line.

In most states this is called B&E, breaking and entering. And, in conjunction with being cited for breaking the law at a Tampa Bay Park a day earlier, Brady is now on a footing to have a mug shot posted before his NFL profile pix on Tampa Bay Bucs website.

Maybe he was looking for his receiver Gronk who is also moving to Florida soon—and who knows? He may end up renting a room from the only man he ever wanted to catch passes from.

Stranger things have happened and may yet happen. We are waiting for the other shoe to fall: when will Julian Edelman, already upset at being left out of the social distance, may demand a trade to Tampa to join Alex Guerrero, fitness guru, and Brady advisor, in the pirate ship before it sinks.

If it seems Patriots have abandoned ship in commemoration of the RMS Foxboro Belichick ship sinking, you could say the lifeboats are filling up quickly.

The iceberg is Belichick himself—and when you hit him, you are doomed.

If the postman can ring twice, it seems Tom Brady should be able to stay at Mar-a-Lago without a bell or whistle blown. If you have friends in high places, you can violate pandemic protocol and walk into any home without being a home wrecker.

Tom Brady is off to a flying start in Florida where the beaches are now teeming with teammates and coronavirus pals.

 

 

TB 12 is Cited, not Sighted!

DATELINE: What Coronavirus? 

What, me worry?

If you are to believe the spinmeisters, Tom Brady (Tampa Brady 12) was cited for a misdemeanor for using a city park during the coronavirus pandemic.

Tampa Bay hardly wants to besmirch its newly arrived superstar—and whatever legal or police action was hastily buried, burned, covered up, and called a misunderstanding.

It now seems semantics over TB (Tom Bay 12) is at the crux of the problem. It seems the mayor of Tampa Bay is backtracking her officials: it seems she merely meant Tom had been sighted, not cited.

A Tom Brady sighting is one thing, and a Tom citation is quite another.

We know well that Tom Brady never practices alone in a park: he has a well-selected entourage, befitting a superstar, to catch his passes and pass his jokes on.

To say TB 12 was a man alone in the park is disingenuous, but fans are likely to agree with TB that the coronavirus is a tempest in a teapot, much ado about nothing.

As a Republican now in a Republican state, Tom never has to say he’s sorry for throwing social distance for a incomplete pass.

The idea that Tom may actually disaparage the deadly pandemic is well-within his new found freedom to live in Trump’s newly chosen home state.

You may well ask why Tom must chose a public venue for his practice when he can afford any private gym for whatever cost is charged. It’s the principle. He can do and will do whatever his Tom Foolery allows.

If you think Tom was sighted, you may well consider yourself “short-sighted” because like his former Patriots owner and surrogate father, Robert Kraft, cited in Florida is usually reserved for being caught with one’s pants down in a public area.

Tampa Bay has now discovered TB has a whole new public relations freedom—and city officials are scrambling to adjust to the new reality: pandemics be damned.

TB is now better protected by his line of baloney, from his line of baloney. For his line of baloney.

TB 12’s New Abode

DATELINE: Home Sweet Home!

 Cottage On Bay.

Tom Brady has moved to Tampa Bay. TB to TB.

Brady is renting a mansion that belongs to Derek Jeter and has 9 bathrooms. We aren’t sure how many roommates Brady is taking in. Alex Guerrero, his business partner, may be among the freeloaders.

The price is a tad pricey: $70,000 per month. It is about 30,000 square feet, including a billiard parlor. The house had to be renovated with a higher security gate, which required town permission.

Davis Islands is a resort of sorts, that is sprawling.

Some wonder why Brady chose TB. We have learned that Tampa’s neighborhood is actually one hotbed of Trump support. Yes, there is a political angle to the Brady neighborhood.

As an old fan of MAGA (he has a red hat), Trump’s former golf partner may have selected this Jeter house because it is six miles from the Bucs stadium—but even closer to Trump RE-election headquarters.

We aren’t sure how many Trump fund-raisers will be held on Brady’s rental house, but he certainly has plenty of room for all his fellow Republicans to come by for a visit.

We understand the house comes with several Ring security cameras at the front door and facing the oceanfront where canoes may start sailing past with cameras at the ready.