Brazil, Where the Nuts Are!

DATELINE: Beyond the Twilight Zone

acting chops Whose Acting Chops?

If you thought nutcase movies are here today, you are about 30 years off. Brazil is a movie aficionado’s fantasy and nightmare, defying convention and logic. You just passed the signpost of Ipanema.

Terry Gilliam (of Monty Python fame) went out of his way to make the Citizen Kane of kookoo-bird movies in 1985.

This was no small achievement as the film holds up as beyond modern and relevant. Its madness may yet to be realized in the future.

Like Blade Runner, the future is the past. There is an aura of 1940s film noir interspersed with superhero comic fantasy.

Jonathan Pryce is some bureaucrat by day and by night, in his dreams, some kind of flying circus performer out to save a damsel in distress. In the meantime, he works in mindless government agencies that are after Harry Tuttle (Robert DeNiro) in an early comedic performance as a heating engineer who is a wanted man for doing duct work without a license.

Pryce’s mother Ida Lowry is played by the youth-conscious Katherine Helmond in a face-stretching performance with Jim Broadbent, as her fey plastic surgeon, striving for tighter skin.

Included in the shenanigans are such familiar faces as Bob Hoskins, Ian Holm, Michael Palin, and Ian Richardson. If they wanted to kick off the unorthodoxy of their careers, this film is definitely the forerunner.

If you want a plot, you will fall into a black hole and likely be stretched to kingdom come.

You can ride the wave of this movie from one loony tune moment to the next, not bothering to connect the dots or the scenes. It’s like being in the Trump Administration: you just sit back and experience the Cinerama of movie magic to the mambo-jumbo notes of the song “Brazil.”

Heavens, or is that Land of Goshen?

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Oak Island: Rocky Roads for Season 6

DATELINE: Bring On Dr. Travis Taylor!

Gary with Peter Gary & Peter.

We’re back to Oak Island with a two-hour extravaganza called “Rock Solid,” but there is quicksand everywhere as 2019 starts.

The million-dollar boondoggle at Smith’s Cove has sprung multiple leaks. Was this not foreseen? It’s so bad that the two nephews, Alex and Peter, are sent by Uncle Rick to go to the outside and use silicone sealant along the seams of the steel barrier. Young and dumb always wins the dirty work.

We saw that TV commercial where the guy sprays sealant on a screen glued to his boat bottom and he sails with the sharks visible underneath. Alex and Peter have to work quickly, lest the tide and time take them.

With Gary Drayton finding another hole filled with goodies, they bring back the drudge government archeologist Nivens, who immediately takes a garden trowel to the site. Come back in a few years to find out what’s there.

Alex Lagina and Charles Barkhouse return to Halifax, Nova Scotia, to look in an old business for the Rosetta Stone of the pirate treasure. Guess what? Two years ago they couldn’t find it in the dingy basement tunnels of a city business.

However, this time, eureka is not just a Latin word. The long-lost stone with odd hieroglyphs from the original dig has been located: 200 pounds that needs laser treatment to recover the messages once on its surface.

So, they called in the big gun:  fresh off his series on History that was canceled about Nikola Tesla, the notable PhD star, Travis Taylor enters. He immediately shakes up the team with a new theory.

You never know what will eventuate when History Channel transports old stars to a new setting. Dr. Travis Taylor notes that the island is actually a star map—and blame those pesky Masons yet again.

We seem to be revving the engine for something in the coming weeks. Curse of Oak Island has never looked more promising.

 

 

Aliens & Astronauts, or Something Like That

DATELINE: Old Horizons

moonshot

A streaming Amazon documentary of sorts has two titles: good luck in figuring out which is the right one. Aliens and Astronauts: UFOs on the Moon is one choice, and the other is Alien Origins: UFOs on the Moon.

If this strikes you as a good emblematic statement about the film’s contents, you are on the money, unlike its producer, director, writer, and narrator who are all one person, named J. Michael Long.

Long is an expert director on Bigfoot and space aliens. Lately he has even branched out to Elephants & Donkeys, on the political crisis in America. Alas, he speaks like a non-native, mispronouncing dozens of words (even simple ones). It also adds to the aura of inauthenticity.

We’d be the last ones to call a documentary fake news, but we think the “fictional hypothesis” of the Moon being hollow is hardly fiction.

What do you call people who eat this up? Moonstruck or Lunatics?

The film tries every angle to convince us the Moon is hollow. It even begs the question of the question, which is penurious.

Nicely developed with good visuals, the film does raise the legit question of why we haven’t returned to the Moon in 40 years: someone doesn’t want us there? Hmm, yes, if the Moon is an artificial satellite brought here from another galaxy to help colonize the planet with Atlantis residents.

Oh, it all ties together. Director Long even suggests the Moon has only been out there for 11,000 years, which means the Sphinx may be older than the Moon. There must not have been much night-time construction, without moonlight. Long tells us in long-hand that the Moon is older than the Earth, by quite a bit, having machinery inside that brought it here.

Long is short on logic but heavy on repetition. Conspiracy theory addicts will find this stuff is catnip. Meow.

 

 

 

 

Do You Trust This Computer?

DATELINE: Person of Interest?

Nolan Auteur Jonathan Nolan!

It’s a loaded question, perhaps more nefarious than asking whether you still belittle women in the ERA of #Metooism! (jk omitted in earlier version).

A documentary on the doomsday likelihood that artificial intelligence is already here may be a self-fulfilling prophecy. It does not stop the filmmaker from stacking the deck.

Do You Trust This Computer features a couple of the brainiest culture commentators—and a gaggle of AI experts from Sanford and MIT.

Elon Musk (of Mars colonization fame) and Jonathan Nolan (creator of Person of Interest and Westworld, two of the most intelligent computers on the tube) offer extraordinary insights.

Nolan is so handsome that it almost seems unfair that he is brilliant too.

If you need villains, you can find them on your devices: Facebook and Google, both of whom are working on super intelligent computers that may endanger humankind.

As one observer notes, psychometrics means that computer are already able to tell your intelligence, religion, sexual orientation, and politics, from facial recognition. In the hands of dictators, or even a Trump, this could prove frightful.

An expert notes that artificial intelligence is the true psychopath: no conscience or morality to stop it from fulfilling every mission.

Autonomous robots are already out there in killer drones. If you are the target, you are dead meat. War will make AI public enemy #1. Medical robots may decide who lives and dies, as humans begin to lose all skills that have been usurped by artificially intelligent creatures.

As people come to rely on these monsters, they will have fewer skills to combat the AI abuses. They are already winning at Jeopardy, chess, and other games, years ahead of schedule.

Androids will soon look like us and have no foibles.

Do you trust your computer? It’s already too late to be suspicious if we are to believe this documentary.

Looking for Noah’s Ark Again!

DATELINE: Spiritual Journey

Ararat excavation

If you didn’t hear on the Internet that Noah’s Ark has been discovered, then you have a fairly good idea of the results of another documentary about the trip to Mt. Ararat by another expedition of intrepid optimists.

Here is another documentary on the age-old quest.

Finding Noah is well-funded, beautifully photographed, and has many montages of historical searches to locate the Ark that survived the Great Flood of Biblical and geological fame.

First, let’s face it: there are few groups outside TV shows like Ancient Aliens or In Search of… that would fund such a mammoth and likely fruitless effort. If you make the movie, you live with the unsatisfying ending of reality.

So, if this attempt to dig up the Ark is a bunch of crazed Christians with ties to Liberty University, we cannot fault them. It takes a special breed of adventurer to have the obsession, time, and physical stamina to go into a war zone in Turkey.

Weather is just another adverse element here when a bunch of largely middle-aged explorers make the trek up a 17,000-foot mountain. Perhaps those are exactly the kinds of men who have always taken the risks. If you are not a fanatic, you aren’t going to attempt it.

Using ground-and-ice penetrating radar, they use chainsaws to dig 30 meters into the glacier in chunks. It is interesting how they conduct their search under a tent.

Of course, as they all admit toward the end, the real goal was a spiritual journey, not a discovery journey. It was God’s will that they try, but there was no promise of fame and fortune.

The praying moments are kept to a minimum and creationists do consult real academic scientists for information. So, this is not a religious crusade to prove the Bible’s literal truth. At least, not too obviously.

Only you can decide if you have wasted your time.

ETs Among Us 2: They Come and Go

DATELINE:  That’s Howe!

ETs among us

We missed the first one, but the second “documentary” is more of an op-ed piece by Linda Moulton Howe. It runs about 55 minutes, which was about how much time we needed to kill. It fit the bill perfectly. ETs Among Us 2 has some long subtitle that is not worth spelling out.

You might think this little documentary is outtakes from the popular show Ancient Aliens as it features some of the usual experts who populate that series, including Nick Pope (some kind of British official years ago) and Linda Moulton Howe who has been an investigative journalist looking for the innards of those disembowelled and mutilated cattle out west.

We are treated to a potpourri of spaceshot theories: from the Nazis in cahoots with space aliens, to secret bases under Antarctica (you can’t see them but there is a rabbit warren under the ice). We also learn about ancient history of wars between two races of ETs a million years ago. They took their battles to Mars and had a nuclear war there too.

So, we have details about the strange radiation on Mars and the destroyed buildings and pyramid monuments that have dominated NASA denials and conspiracy theory for years.

Who knows if this stuff is true or not, but it is a tad breath-taking in its breadth of explanation. You have to be impressed with the Big Picture.

As it is all speculation, we can hardly find fault with its fanciful attempts to explain the cosmos and our roles in it.

If you believe in science, you cannot refute this. If your religion is offended, you may fight the notions counter of tall Nordic and small grey creatures that have fashioned the human race out of spliced DNA to cause us to pan for gold as slaves.

Throw in the approach of Nibiru, the mystery planet in a 3600-year orbit, and we can only anticipate whether death and destruction will reach us before normal mortality.

We were entertained, not offended.

 

 

 

 

Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdum-dum

DATELINE: Another Pratt-Fall

New Rock Rock Hudson Redux?

Every generation has its own Ice Station Zebra, and this one belongs to the latest rip-off of Jurassic Park/World. This movie seems to be produced by Carl Denham while looking for Numb-Skull Island and the Eighth Wonder of the World.

That’s not to say it is watchable. It is execrable, but the cast is stellar: Chris Pratt returns as the action hero with the deft sense of comedy timing. He reminds us of Rock Hudson, the last of a classic type, though we doubt that Pratt will appreciate the comparison.

This special-effects bonanza is overwrought with silly dinosaurs—and sillier characters. Nevertheless, we must note that James Cromwell, Toby Jones, BD Wong, Geraldine Chaplin, as well as Jeff Goldblum lend their presence in throwaway roles that must have paid well. An actress named Price Dallas Howard or something like that plays Supergirl in a revisionist twirl.

Sam Neill turned them down, money be damned.

The plot features non-stop coincidence that defies logic but moves so quickly that you are on to the next improbable moment. Pratt is not George Reeves or Christopher Reeve, but he resembles Superman, even outrunning a pyroplastic flow down the mountainside.

Among his talents, Pratt is again the dinosaur whisperer—and the reptilian characters are tied to him like elephants to Tarzan. They bonded way back when.

If we gleaned anything, it is that the genetically recreated monsters are being left to die in a Darwinian economic move that resembles Mathusian Trump commerce. The government won’t spend a cent to save them, and once again we are at the mercy of billionaires who throw money away like an Elon Musk or Tom Steyer.

We don’t buy it. Let the buyer beware.

Another Dr. Moreau from H.G. Wells

DATELINE:  Genetic Engineering’s Early Days

 moreau Lancaster Experiments on York!

Of the many Island of Dr. Moreau movies, with its many caricatures of the deranged scientist, we count Charles Laughton and Marlon Brando. Each played a zaftig and outrageous mad scientist to the rafters.

In 1977, the most subdued of the versions came out from American International, of all studios, and starred Burt Lancaster as Dr. Moreau. The titan of movies was then 65, but still virile and active. His performance is pure Burt.

Playing the young shipwrecked officer came another star at the top of his game: Michael York, wafer-thin and at his most attractive in the decade where his name was above the title.

He and Lancaster really have several face-offs of grand debate over science. It falls to Lancaster to give his performance the veneer of respectability. He is not a caricature but comes across as the voice of reason. It makes his mad scientist even more frightful.

In an age before DNA, the H.G. Wells tale deals with genetic mutation at the cellular level by means of serum. Here, Moreau wants to change animals into men.

It becomes horrific when he decides to change a man into an animal in the name of science—and York is the victim.

The cast is small, but effective. Among the standouts are Richard Basehart, unrecognizable in makeup, and Nigel Davenport as the assistant to Moreau. Around for looks is Barbara Carrera, standard exotic beauty of the decade.

As for the manimals, they seem to be wearing the leftover costumes from some Planet of the Apes sequel.

The movie belongs to the master, Lancaster. Savor it.

DNA Politics

DATELINE: Not Pocahontas

Pocahontas? Apologies Required?

Nothing can be more dangerous than the latest wave of people and their push to learn about their “roots.”

Roots was a television event in the 1970s that sparked a furor among black American youth who were shocked at the depiction of their past. Many said they had no idea.

Now, we have Sen. Elizabeth Warren, goaded by Trump insults, trying to prove she has Native American blood. It appears, begrudgingly, she may have 1/1000th segment of Indian DNA. That’s about ten generations back—from the 1600s.

She provided no names of these people, no family trees, no paperwork to indicate the actual, physical evidence.

We did our own Ancestry and 23&Me skidoo tests last year, and we discovered that we had 0.02% Native American blood. Who knew? We immediately went to family trees—and started pulling on the genetic strings.

Sure enough, we traced back those with shared DNA whom we did not know, never heard of, and will never meet, to learn that Massasoit was in the mix.

That’s no ordinary run-of-the-mill Indian, but the man for whom Massachusetts is named! How likely is that? We questioned the tree and who falls out when you shake it up. We call this phenomenon “Sitting Bull.”

We also learned we were related to Plymouth/Mayflower names like John Alden and Priscilla Mullens, who were the subjects of a Longfellow poem called “The Courtship of Miles Standish.” Another Pocahontas moment for the family.

We were reminded that movies have been all over the subject of DNA for years. Back in the 1940s, there was a movie called Pinky, about a white girl who learned she was an octoroon. No, that’s not a cookie, but means you had distant black ancestors.

In 1960, Audrey Hepburn appeared in a movie called The Unforgiven, in which she played a girl raised as Audie Murphy’s sister, who was a stolen Indian baby. Her racist family was shocked, but she looked just like the non-Native Americans playing the Indians in the movie.

The Nazis in Germany were big on sniffing out who had Jewish ancestors—and liquidating them. Family trees were the way to root out the condition, as there was no DNA back then.

Mr. Trump should be aware that he could be related to Hitler himself, based on his behavior, and that he may be 1/2000th of a relative to Genghis Khan.

Time for another DNA test.

 

 

 

 

Next World is Your Next Stop

DATELINE: The Futurist Bible

Kaku Bird

 Kookoo Clocked?

Machio Kaku hosts a re-tooled Japanese series about the future, all done in English, called Next World from the CuriosityStream.

The five episodes are short and artificially sweetened, purporting to tell us what life will be like in 2045, just around the corner.

Machio Kaku is more like Mucho KooKoo as the futurist host with his introductions spliced into the show. He sits or stands in a white room with Internet screens to segue to a morose narrator who does the heavy lifting. He may be a virtual entity.

What we learn about the future is that computer chips will be implanted in our brains, eyes, and bloodstream. We will be hooked into a great Artificial Intelligence. Heaven help you if you receive wrong info or have some political dictator hack into your head.

They don’t discuss that possibility in this series, filmed mostly at Harvard and MIT in their labs.

There is a great deal of optimism that hospitals will become obsolete, owing to chemical/computer implants that will hunt out disease and keep us young.

You will face a lifespan of 100 years, adding five hours every day, until we reach the Singularity.

Yes, that ugly word crops up repeatedly, meaning a time of major cultural and human shift, like the introduction of agriculture or writing. AI will change everything, as we will make political allies of robots and androids, even marrying them.

The most intriguing possibility is that there will be recreated lives online of famous historical personages, or even less vaunted ancestors, to whom we may converse and seek counsel (sort of like crying “Fire” on the Internet).

To transcend death, you may be able to put your consciousness into an android and live forever.

All this is predicted by 2045 when you can live on Mars or in a tower of Babel, now an island in the rising oceans.

It almost makes you want to go back to the caves.

 

Ancient Aliens 13.11 Trump Marks the Spot

DATELINE: A Couple of Space Balls!

space shots

When Ancient Aliens crosses the boundaries from space nightmare to political nightmare, you have something beyond controversy. It may be hard to swallow, but they have come up with a theory to explain President Trump’s Space Force.

Yes, recently, Trump proposed a new branch of military: a kind of space patrol, right out of sci-fi movies.

In this week’s “Russian Connection”, we have a new twist to Trump’s collusion—and little green men and alien grays are the least of your troubles.

Apparently, Russia is prepared to implant human brains into androids, robots, a la Westworld, which would not be possible under the American government. Trump may be throwing in with the Russians to create an army of digitized soldiers.

Our theory show now suggests that the US has ceded space to Russia because Freedom of Information and the free press are too much of a problem in the United States. It’s easier to control key information under the Russian flag. Hence, the US government is subjugating their powers to Putin’s space patrol.

If Ancient Alien theorists are correct, Trump is planning for a space invasion. Hence, he has met with Putin privately this year to prepare for big Trouble with a capital T: cue the Music Man.

Though the best minds believe we cannot win a fight against an enemy from outer space, you may not be able to convince Trump of that. He and Putin plan a gunfight at the OK Corral against Nibiru’s star troopers.

So, Russian collusion may have more connotations than money laundering and dirty political tricks. Ancient Aliens has always gone over the edge, but this time we may be looking at Trump’s Armageddon with aliens who don’t need green cards to invade the United States.

 

 

 

 

Dopey, Dotty Doty: UFO Secret Agent

DATELINE: Another Pseudo-Crypto Agent?

Dopey Doty Rockin’ Robin?

Mirage Men is an antithetical look at UFOs, and it is not popular with true believers in ancient aliens. This documentary makes seers of spacemen look like dupes and fools. In extreme cases, disinformation science has ruined lives—and the key figure in the conspiracy is Mr. Rick Doty.

Yes, the government may be creating false news reports about UFOs for their own nefarious purposes: mostly to discredit reliable reports and people.

To create fake news, we have another one of those oddball low-level government agents, on the lines of Bob Lazar and Edward Snowden. These people have no academic or educational credentials and have risen up through “testing” and merit to positions that cannot be filled by West Point or Annapolis grads.

No one bothers to consider how these bona fide high school graduates are entrusted with the most important work of MJ-12.

The latest is the central figure among the fake news purveyors. Richard C. Doty is another bespectacled, well-spoken figure we cannot figure out. He is the supreme confidence man, drawing in UFOlogists with disinformation and insider knowledge.

In one extreme case, a fellow went “mad” over the secrets Doty purported to share as a colleague “special agent”.

How gullible are people? Doty was some kind of military rank around E-5 level, hardly more than a grunt GI of latrine duty specialization. Who puts these third-rate people in charge of major programs?

His job was to befriend UFO experts, learn what they knew, and then feed them ridiculous info to lead them into wacko territory. He did it even to noted journalist Linda Moulton Howe, who has the scars and indignation to prove it.

Doty may be dotty. Whether he was ever what he claimed or was himself conned by the government to think he was working a special duty, is unknown even till today.

He muddied the waters of crop circles, abduction stories, and other alien activities. We have idiots like this to thank for fake news being believable and pervasive.

 

Sentinels of Ancient Aliens, 13.9

DATELINE: Here’s Mud in Your Moai

 moai

In the latest episode of the series Ancient Aliens, Giorgio Tsoukalos has been teamed up with another regular, David Childress, and they went to the South Seas, Easter Island and the Marquesas to find the usual suspects: mythic gods who were really extraterrestrials. Don’t give these Rapa Nui a bad rap.

“The Sentinels” is your standard episode, but now features Giorgio as a central analyst with a variety of associates. Of the 900 Moai statuary on Easter Island, only seven face the ocean. These 36 feet tall monoliths are right out of a Kubrick movie.

These giants are presumed to be literal depictions, facing out to another location—which happens to be the Marquesa Islands. Our intrepid theorists visit and consult with others. They find similar legends about giants, in flying turtle disguise. The ancient astronauts were called Tiki, and that is no con job.

Thousands of years ago these cosmic turtles seemed to have arrived along the ley lines in the South Pacific. Of course, it is a short jump to make these islands a series of space ports from where spaceships came and went, impressing natives.

As for those Moai, they appear to be giant hybrids. They fled the Marquesas because they were hunted by the Polynesians as a delicacy: their brains were thought to have immortality imprinted.

The eyes of the Moai may hold the key to their abilities, and the large hats they wear are loaded with cryptic messages.

Nothing new emerges in this episode, but it is another piece of ancient history that indicates modern science is missing a few more links than they care to admit.

 

 

 

In Search of…Fake Smarts

DATELINE: Bots Nobody Should Love

boy bot

Zachary Quinto was duly surprised and unnerved by the scientists he met to discuss artificial intelligence. It would appear it is already too late to stop it from taking over the world. In Search of went looking at bots and the bottom line of artificial intelligence.

Nearly every computer-generated scientist found Quinto’s questions “valid,” but not one had the interest to consider stopping his own work. It seems that artificial intelligence may control the world within a decade.

Quinto visited a place called RealDoll where they make $8000 robots in the guise of buxom women with bee-stung lips. As an after thought, there was also a young male bot. You can program emotional reactions, but they are smarmy—like their creator.

Quinto felt that giving robots the power to choose who lives and dies might be a problem when they take over military systems. No one else in authority had much to say about it.

Of course, androids or robots have their uses in dangerous situations—with bombs, radiation, or delicate surgery. Yet, giving them to power to make decisions could mean they access our Facebook page to determine whether we are worthy.

Indeed, Facebook scientists created robots who quickly went out of control last year, making their own language and freezing out their creators. Be afraid.

The host once again came across as highly intelligent, bewitched and bothered by the developments. When he drove an Uber car that went through a red light, he tried to have the scientists discuss whether the robot would save the pedestrian or driver, they couldn’t or wouldn’t give an opinion.

This was an impressive hour, but not comforting.

Ancient Aliens: Totally Taken In

DATELINE:  Re-election Ploy

 Baker Gov. Charlie Baker!

As Season 13 continues, the venerable series seems to be running out of juice. The latest is called “The Taken,” and it takes a look at the abducted victims of aliens.

If it seems like the series is becoming incestuous, making love to itself, you may be among those taken in. The show actually uses its own cast at an Alien Con 2018  with panelists Giorgio, Linda Moulton Howe, and Nick Pope, talking to hundreds of fans.

Talk about a self-selected audience, filled with people who claim to be abductees of space aliens for decades. If you are afraid to talk about it, there is no better forum that to stand up in front of 500 people and confess.

The experts claim there is an uptake in the number of taken victims: the total is about 2 to 5% of the population of the world. Yikes, those aliens are busy creatures.

Among the people interviewed are a victim 50 years ago from Great Barrington, Massachusetts, who manages to convince Governor Charlie Baker, Republican of Mass., to give official sanction to the abduction victims. This is a national first acknowledgement of abduction. It also kicks off Baker’s re-election campaign for governor!

From here it is a short jump to the history of altering human biology as motive of the space creatures. It seems nearly all of those taken in the past 35,000 years are Rh Negative (which is 15% of the human population).

Perhaps they are on to something. Then, they reveal that the first American celebrities of abduction (Betty and Barney Hill of New Hampshire) never revealed their entire family were victims.

Of course, the rare blood type is at the bottom of the gene-splicing over generations. (Forget that the Shroud of Turin claims Jesus was AB-Negative—which is only .5 percent of humanity).

If the show’s credibility seems to be shaky, you know that self-congratulations are in order. Ancient Aliens is always the first to recognize its own pioneer spirit.