Shatner Looks for Atlantis

Edgar Cayce

 DATELINE: Visionary and Cautionary Tales 

 Every other weekUnXplained gives us chopped liver, but in between we have some gemstones and meaty insights. Will William Shatner’s search for Atlantis, the Lost Continent, fall into the good group, or the stinkeroo group?

Shatner is in fine fettle for the opening, always a good sign as he laces his intro with skepticism. And, the episode starts off with Plato’s “metaphor” that one expert notes has a kernel of historical truth. Well, not usually in poetry, but so much for the experts.

The real fad of Atlantis arose out of the 1880s when Jules Verne science fiction was at its height, and a book about an antediluvian world caught the public fancy. A philosophic allegory became a visionary and cautionary tale.

Reputable archaeologists indicate that many clues from Plato indicate that the word “island” has been misinterpreted: it means peninsula, and that leads them to the coast of Spain and Portugal where layers of methane indicate many dead bodies deep under ground.

However, Edgar Cayce had a different take: his visions indicated that Atlantis was located in the Caribbean and has since become the many disjointed islands. He thought it was destroyed by self-used crystal death rays. It sounds like Tesla lived there.

There is also a consideration that the Atlanteans were hybrid extra-terrestrials with both paranormal skills and technological genius.

Shatner saves his best wild attitude for the final push: that Atlantis was a community of space aliens. But, the final note is that Walt Disney planned EPCOT as a concentric utopian Atlantis.

Oak Island Teases Again

Ersatz Gold

DATELINE:  Missing in Action 

If there is any major development in the 11thepisode of the season, it is that there is a reference to the likely deterioration of weather ahead. Yes, another season os summery digging is about over. The Curse of Oak Island may be one for the books.

What has emerged in the recent episode is a continued absence of major figures. There has been another week with no direct appearance of Marty and Alex Lagina, nor Peter Fornetti. It is about the length of time for a quarantine. They’d never tell you that detail.

 

The two doctors, Ian Spooner and Aaron Taylor, have taken up major roles as advisors again this week.

Most of the on-site work has been hosted by Rick Lagina and the supporting workers. Marty shows up in a later filmed narrative analysis.

A growing chorus of responders keep asking us about Dave Blankenship, but he is gone for good, bought out by the Laginas and sent packing.  Nor is cartographer Erin Helton mentioned this week.

We spend much time again in the boring down to 180 feet where splinters of wood should not be. There is talk (again) of being near the money pit, with Money Bags 1 and 2 giving approval to dig.

Gary Drayton again is central to the discoveries of the week: a mysterious gold colored knob from a chest of drawers. Gary contends it belonged to a ship’s captain, and there is nothing to disprove his usual insight.

He later discovers a large post buried in the swamp with two massive spikes. It is a dock for a major ship.

In your usual disappointing news, the serpent mound is dismissed finally as a rubble field. Yet, the night’s show has been eventful and interesting.

Deeply Boring on Oak Island

1st Appearance of Dr. Christa This Season

DATELINE: Boring Deeper

One friend who tunes into Curse of Oak Island  on a now-and-then basis claims that she never knows it’s a new episode. It seems every week they find an old coin and are boring into the ground looking for a new entrance to the Money Pit.

We’re glad she didn’t tune in to this show tonight. It’s more déjà vu than we can handle.

The eighth show of the eighth season is notable for who’s not there. Marty Lagina is on Zoom and not even on the island, and his son Alex doesn’t show up until he fills an empty seat in the final sequence. Peter Fornetti is nowhere. You won’t find Dr. Erin Helton either.

However, a couple of notable faces do come on board. First, making his initial island appearance is Mr. Moneybags, Craig Tester. He is the bank of Oak Island, and then at the end of the show, we have our first appearance of one of our perennial favorites, Dr. Christa Brousseau. We add Drs. Spooner and Aaron Taylor to the mix.

She has the most intriguing info of all:  she notes that two rose-head nails from different locations, one in the newly discovered serpent mound and another from a tunnel are the same, made at the same time. That connects the dots.

Once again, Gary Drayton is also on site as they uncover some kind of road out of the swamp, leading up to the pit areas. He finds another coin, likely from the late 1600s.

There are no additional confirmations of Templar work at the serpent mound from 1400, which is the most exciting part of this season.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Feeding the Birdies

Bye, bye, Birdie?

 DATELINE: Keep Your Eye on the Birdie

Not quite having devolved into the state of Nikola Tesla feeding pigeons in Central Park, we have nonetheless taken a turn toward pity toward fellow creatures.

With the overnight ice storm, the ground is a white frozen tundra and the little chickadees and finches in the backyard seem forlorn. They hop in and stand there as if frozen to the ground.

So, we went out to spread good cheer and a little birdseed.

What then transpired from the vantage of the patio window was Nature’s call in spades. It was an all-you-can-eat bonanza in town. It was also the only eatery open. So, the birds descended like Hitchcock nightmare.

It was like McDonald’s drive-thru with crash cars. IN an expanse, the birds came crashing down on top of the previous eater, knocking him away. So much for good manners. It was also eat and run.

The chickadees seemed to take one seed and fly up to the tree to eat in peace. They returned a few seconds later to repeat the ritual dining.

A little flinch stayed and gobbled up all he could as fast as he could. These are notorious sloppy eaters. If you drop a seed, the next bird quickly devours it. Table scraps are at a premium. The birds clocked in every three seconds.

We found they went for the large black seeds first. They disdained the small white seeds, and only when the first choice was gone did they partake of the left-overs.

We had our culinary lesson of the year. Birds do not keep social distance when it comes to a food fight.

Tesla was on to something by watching this sideshow.

By Any Other Name, President-Elect

Club Elect

 DATELINE: Un-Elected Dis-Elected 

Now that the Electoral College has voted, let’s call a spade a spade.  Joe Biden is President-Elect.

If our logic is correct, that makes the present occupant of the Oval Office the President-Unelect. It seems we have too many presidents buzzing around. If you count all those deadbeats who gather together in a little club, you have five or six others too.

They have been unelected for years, but show up for historic photos now and then, all smiling and friendly. Well, that’s about to end. One new member of the Un-elected President Club will surely be black-balled from the White House.

Trump has already been disinvited from funerals and other functions that, like Groucho Marx, he won’t attend with other presidents that will have him as a member.

Trump has not invited the latest President-Elect to the White House, and the other President-Unelecteds have also stopped coming around for photo oops.

Sen.-Diselect Lindsay Graham has now claimed he will not call the President-Elect by that title, but will refer to him as Just Joe. It seems a bit unjust, Joe.

By Jan. 20th, Graham will be called Mudd when President Un-Elect Trump will be in Florida, helping Ivanka prepare to run for the next President-Elect job.

None of this should confuse you when it comes to the role of Attorney General, which is now Dis-Barred.

Big Deal on Ancient Aliens

Dr. Jason Osequeda

 DATELINE:  Tall Tales

Welcome to the Land of the Giants.  In case you are wondering where it is, Ancient Aliens puts the epicenter around the Mediterranean Sea—but these big people spread out, as you cannot keep a big man down.

Noting that the big stone monuments that have survived for thousands and thousands of years were built without tools, they had to be picked up like pebbles on the beach and put into walls, pyramids, and other ancient structures. Only your biggest folks could handle the job.

These big people, giants stood as much as 100 feet tall, which means the dinosaurs would have had a tough time fighting off these hunters.

The general run of giants shrank to more chewable size of ten to twenty feet. Talk about big feet.

Though some believe a race of giants were some kind of mutation that did not last, Ancient Alien theorists expectedly believe these creatures came from outer space to redistribute the planet’s makeup.

They cite legend and myth with some academics who discuss the Cyclops, one-eyed monsters, as a real nationality. If we recall our Greek mythology, the Cyclops met by Odysseus was not too bright, which may explain their soon to be extinction.

Malta seems to be the epicenter of civilizations thousands of years before known developments of the Biblical era. The megalithic structures bear a striking parallel to the Sumerian pyramids, allegedly built by giants from outer space.

Speaking of Lost in Space, actor Bill Mumy who produces Ancient Aliens nowadays used a clip of him as a child star shooting a giant Cyclops he encountered on the pilot episode of his earlier series.

The series uses a couple of new Ph.D.s to tell the stories, including Dr. Linda Enix and Dr. Jason Osequeda, both are most interesting and it might return for future shows. Dr. Bruce Fenton has become a regular.

The most outrageous claim of the episode is that Adam, the first man, was a giant, likely the son of Titans.

 

 

 

  Tom Brady Hates New England Weather

 DATELINE:  Snowy Brady

Once upon a time weather in New England was one of those rare subjects you could talk about safely, no controversy to ensue, no political opinions offered and offended.

Tom Brady, Grifter Emeritus of the Trump Administration, has changed that.

This week in a presser, Brady gave the unsolicited opinion that he would never “be caught dead in the Northeast again.”

He loves Florida weather. He has not put on a hoodie this year, and he can play outdoors to his heart’s content. He did not use the term New England, but Northeast. But we know what he meant. He spent 25 yars in hell. Now it’s Death in Miami Beach, or Tampa Bay.

He plans to build a mansion on Indian Creek Island where there are 30 residents, including Ivanka Trump and Jared Kushner. He will be right at home with his political allies.

Brady gave that number, 25 years, to indicate how long he suffered in the Northeast. Of course, four of those years were in Michigan. Forgive him:  he’s a general studies major, not too up on things like geography. He can’t tell whether Michigan is part of Vermont.

Come to think of it, his math skills seem a little off too. He was in New England 20 years, and 6 Super Bowl titles, 3 flopperoos. So, half his time in cold unpleasant New England weather were his best professional years. And, New England thought he was a natural for cold weather playing.

Of course, Mark Twain once said he counted 70 different kinds of weather in New England in five minute. Tom cannot reach those heights.

He hated that his son Benjamin played hockey, and that’s now over. If you don’t play warm weather football, you are skating on thin ice with Tom.

He recently sold his Manhattan condo for $30 million and will never return to New York either. Too cold, especially when it comes to cold cash. The grifter knows his bucks. He took one million from Small Business Admin to infuse his copper-infused TB12 pajama game.

That gave him the down-payment on a hot yacht, and the rest came out of the cold weather profits from selling his overheated condo.

Tom Brady, not exactly a Native Son of New England, though we do feel comfortable in calling him a snow bird.

 

 

 

Keyless or Clueless on Ancient Aliens?

Marty & Giorgio Team Up Again

 DATELINE:  Keyholes Everywhere 

Ancient Aliens has provided us with another fascinating topic for the 16thseason. “The Galactic Keyhole,” looks at ancient structures built in the shape of keyholes (though they are not uniform in style or relative shape).

 The suggestion is that the metaphor of keyhole unlocks a gateway in the universe.

Almost immediately, you have Giorgia Tsoukalos jumping the gun to call these structures “sacred.”  They may be old, and they may have even had some religious significance, but burial mounds are not always sacred. Sometimes they are egotistical, like a pyramid to one man.

However, Ancient Aliens begins to catalogue these items to all parts of earth, all cultures, and now a shape of keyhole can be seen on the Mars surface. Whether it is shadow, like the infamous face, will await personal visits by people. 

One of the highlights of the show is when Marty Lagina from Curse of Oak Island rejoins Giorgio Tsoukalos on the Italian island of Sardinia. The keyhole mystery is tied into the Knights Templar, but do not go to Oak Island this time.

Here they examine some keyhole shaped cisterns built thousands of years ago, as precise as the pyramids from a society that had no engineering math. It’s a wow moment for Lagina. He is there only for a few moments and feels like a sequence filmed a few years ago.

The Sardinia keyhole is a mirror of one likely from the same timeframe in India.  However, they fail to note that many of these keyholes are different, some like St. Peter’s Square ae gigantic, which experts theorize mean the Holy Grail whose shape in profile is a keyhole is in Vatican City, not Oak Island.

 The best theory from Giorgio is that Buddha in the Stupah is a cross-section of a man going up in a space capsule.

 All in all, it is way beyond the anthropology skills of most college students and a highly intelligent discussion, which we always appreciate.

 

 

Misalignment on Oak Island

Peter with Gary

DATELINE:  More Templar at Nolan’s Cross

In case you missed the pandemic, the series Curse of Oak Island is here to remind you that some of what they planned must be postponed till next year.  We wondered how the virus stops a Big Dig for the Money Pit.

Everyone danced around the big issue: obviously, Marty Lagina was not about to spend the big bucks on the Big Dig. But, they’ll never say that!

Since they will save the work on the Money Pit until next year, we know already they have a commitment for another season.

The other point made was Rick Lagina’s high praise for Tom Nolan, son of the crusty old man who was Dan Blankenship’s arch-nemesis for decades. Now, Tom is the active, productive, and cooperative new partner:  so long, Dave Blankenship.

The show immediately went for the gold: not treasure, but Gary Drayton who will find something every time. This time, for unknown reasons, Jack Begley is not there—and Peter Fornetti, the Lagina teen nephew, is the digger. He is affable and handles the spade well enough.

Almost immediately they come across a plethora of axe blades, buried for centuries. The archaeologist thinks they are several hundred years old. So, Gary has found an old camp.

They also call in some “theorists” from Europe, experts in Templars and math arcs. They have plotted a perfect menorah design on Oak Island that matches one in Jerusalem. They have whittled it down to two spots: Dig there. And, how a straight line goes from the Temple Mount, through the front door of the Palace of Versailles to Oak Island is quite amazing.

Right where they were told to look, there are man-manipulated dig sites going back 300 years, according to Dr. Ian Spooner’s sludge test.

They’re cooking now.

 

Monkey See, Monkey Do Another Monolith

Twin Mono Peaks

DATELINE: Next Stop, Romania

 More shenanigans have resulted in a second Monolith discovery, this time in the historic mountains of Romania, not far from the castle of Vlad the Impaler, we suspect.

We hate to cross pollinate A Space Odyssey with Dracula, but satire knows no boundaries.

The hacked version is not as aesthetic as the original, but it is still a hollow tin cup of mystery. This one is smudged with lettering in some foreign tongue spoken in Alpha Centauri.

We now see how easy it is to double your mono.

And, the Monolith (black only in its heart) is placed on lands protected by government fiat. Yes, we have another illegal parker, nosy or not. Romanian meter-maids are on their way with tow-truck in hand.

Our monolithic LSD trip now brings us to face Romania’s Mount Ceahlau, which locals call the Holy Mountain. 

So, what are we to make of monkey business that now includes international placement of Zarathrustrian proportions.

Are these things dropping from the sky, or simply being downloaded by UFOs? Beam us up and your Monolith too.

Art for art’s sake is now causing more monkey business than we can joke about.

Keir Dullea has still not tweeted his impressions of the biggest event of his life, waking up with a Monolith in his bedroom.

Stanley Kubrick may be laughing somewhere in the Universe, having taken the route of celestrial light with him. Or, perhaps, we are talking that signpost up ahead reading, “Twilight Zone.”

Monkeys Strike Back at Monolith

Vini, Vide, Da Vinci

DATELINE: Gone Too Soon

It came. It was seen, and it was stolen. Vini, vide, da vinci.

You knew that our pandemic age of value-less and soul-less humans would strike back at the giant tin Monolith discovered in Utah.

Mono is a sickness, and monolith is the side-effect. There is no vaccine for stolen property of artistic expression.

Indeed, not a week after it was discovered, visitors to the site found tire tracks and a missing objet d’art.

Yes, the hollow tin homage to 2001 has been hijacked and taken right from under our satellite image. It was illegally installed in Utah, and the likelihood that authorities will pursue the criminals who took it, is about as likely as the notion that the thieves did not wear face masks and failed to maintain social distance during their dastardly action.

Some imbecile scrawled the message, “bye, bitch,” in the area where the monolith once stood. Respectability was never a hallmark of small minds. Creeps continue to creep in the dark.

The item, standing twelve feet tall, but probably light weight was not guarded—and it did not take long for pranksters and people of bad will to come out in the dark to steal the phenomenon from others who were appreciative of its totem.

You cannot live in a world of lawless presidents and viral herds and expect anything less than vandals and desecration to be at your doorstep.

The strange Monolith that provided some escapist hope for many may yet be re-discovered as idiots thrive on shenanigans to parade their criminally empty heads. These idiots will likely brag about their drunken revels to other drunken revelers.

You cannot have a perfect crime in an imperfect world. May the Curse of Corona Virus beset these vile thieves.

 

Oxen Free on Oak Island

Chinese Coin

 DATELINE: SEASON 8, E3

A couple of mysteries seem to be reluctantly and obliquely revealed on the Curse of Oak Island by the Lagina brothers.

The one most people have asked about is whatever has happened to Dave Blankenship, the unfunny curmudgeon son of Dan who died a few seasons ago.

Dave has gone MIA, and no one at History is telling anything directly. However, in the first episode, there was mention that researchers suddenly had complete access to Dan Blankenship’s fifty years of archival material.

This week the throwaway line mentions that the Lagina Brothers have purchased all of Dan Blankenship’s island property and materials. Oh, that? 

It means they also bought Dave lock, stock, and barrel. Whether he has moved off island with the loot is unclear so far, but his father’s house had been occupied by a daughter last season. No mention this year.

If Dave has taken the Lagina money and is on the run, you won’t see him again. We doubt that his name will pass the lips of any Lagina.

Once again, too, we note that Alex Lagina, son of millionaire Marty, has again taken the cushy duty. He is the one to deal with educated researchers and stays away from mud and digs.

So, he meets with another expert to show the Chinese coin Gary Drayton located. It is never explained how or why a coin from China happens to be on Oak Island. Who knows?

Gary and Jack Begley are the new dig team with results. And, this time they find a pathway strewn with oxen shoes. It was an industrial moving site from swamp to money pit.

Alex goes to Carmen Legge, their blacksmithy expert who reveals the oxen shoes are from different seasons and likely are 100 years before the money pit discovery. He also tells Alex that the oxen shoes are British military issue.

In other news, we are going to have more draining of the swamp over the next few weeks. This time it will be big time with metal dams installed.

 

 

Brady the Sore Loser Meets Trump the Sore Loser!

DATELINE: Great in Eye of Beholder

After Tom Brady’s loss on Monday Night Football, he was largely castigated for being a “sore loser.” It seems he left the playing field without shaking the hand of the opposing and winning quarterback’s hand.

Immediately a hue and cry from those conservative fans came about a bad image for children to see, and how Brady was not a GOAT in a country of MAGA.

You have to know Tom from 20 years in New England to understand his attitude. This man is acting out the same way his candidate for president has. Trump is Brady’s friend and president.

What’s good for the QB is good for the POTUS. You don’t hear these anti-Kaepernick fans castigating Trump for being a sore loser, for claiming his victory was stolen, for demanding that the whole game is rigged.

Like his mentor president, Brady left liberal New England with its social conscience and high taxes for a land of warmth and no taxes. He even brags he never wears a hoodie any more…take that, Belichick.

Bad losers are endemic to Brady and Trump. They are birds of a losing feather, just think of Deflategate and Mail-ballot-gate.

The tantrums you see from Trump and Brady are part of what you see as greatness in sports and politics, small-minded losers!

 

Death in Venice Part 2

Death in Venice and Washington?

DATELINE: Drips for Drips

Not since Death in Venice when Dirk Bogarde’s bad dye job melted during a pandemic have we seen such a just dessert.

Yes, that’s Rudi Giuliani playing the role of a lifetime: the man who catches the coronavirus while chasing young electoral college voters! In the famous Visconti movie, Von Aschenbach loses his youth to bad makeup under the unrelenting conditions of Venice at its worst.

Now, Rudi loses his cool to bad mascara dripping off his sideburns under the unrelenting conditions of Trump at its worst.

We did not realize that Rudi had been cast in a remake of the great classic tale of unremitting moral decay in the face of losing an election.

Trump has simply drained his hair of all color, and Rudi has not taken the cues properly. His master will not be pleased to turn his press conferences into streaming jokes with streaming bad dye dripping.

The other case of drips came when the Wicked Witch of the West stole Toto and was pressed by the Electoral College to return the mutt to a Kansas voting booth. 

All bad taste aside, when you’re paid $20,000 a day to represent the POTUS, you likely don’t have a potus to put hair dye in.

 

New American Voting System

Trump Voter

DATELINE: Up is Down

If Trump and his psychopaths are humored, we must go back over the past fifty years and declare the loser of every presidential election to be the true winner.

Yes, Jimmy Carter beat that deadbeat Ronald Reagan and the election was stolen.

Barry Goldwater should have been inaugurated, not LBJ, but the election was rigged.

Mike Dukakis was the rightful loser and should have been installed in the Oval office.

Without a doubt, the correct way to hold elections is to let the worst man (or lately woman) be celebrated as the loser with the most votes ever achieved for losing.

Winning is not all it cracks up to be:  it simply means you are a cheater and a fraud. Damn the voting machines and the voters who cast ballots. If your candidate is the pits, he should be the incumbent.

Trump has smashed another tradition:  losers are better than winners, and anyone who voted for the other guy was a dummy. If you can’t have your way at the ballot box, have Nazi-leaning politicians negate the vote and make their own selection.

If you think this is crazy, you don’t know your history. Most democracies have fallen for less, and all dictators have risen by the din of the dolt supporters.

America has reached its nadir, and the loser is at the bottom of the barrel must be declared riot leader.