Twin Peaks (s3 Half-Way Point)

 DATELINE:  NO Spoilers Possibletwin peaks

There is no such thing as a spoiler in Twin Peaks. We are not even sure we are still in Twin Peaks after the face of Laura Palmer emerges from the mist in the opening credits.

We have now come to the half-way point of no-return for Season 3 on the bizarre David Lynch TV series, and we can explain everything that happened and you will have no idea what we are talking about.

The episode started with Kyle McLachlan’s Doppleganger Agent D.B. Cooper in a jail break with an accomplice who promptly shoots and kills him. Then, he is beset upon by demonic spirits that apparently bring him back to life.

At this point there is a flashback to a flashpoint in the plot. We find ourselves in Desert Sands, New Mexico, as the first atomic bomb is detonated. If you think of this as a hole in the plot, you may have fallen into the trap.

We are then thrust into a five-minute Stanley Kubrick-style hallucinogenic trip inside a radioactive cloud. When we emerged, we found ourselves in a 1950s black and white horror movie with zombies murdering people.

Oh, yes, somewhere in there we found ourselves in the waiting room of an imperious theater where Lurch the Butler of the Addams Family sends a golden plasma bubble with the face of Laura Palmer back to Earth.

Back on Earth, an alien lizard with wings hatches from an egg near the site of the nuclear explosion in 1956 and enters the mouth of sleeping adolescent girl. Now we feel the Illuminati are lurking somewhere in the storyline.

Is that clear? Are you spoiled yet? Have you any idea if David Lynch has lost his lunch?

Yes, we will watch again next week, not that it matters.

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El Escape de Hitler in Any Language

DATELINE:  Old Friend Dullest

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This 2011 film from Argentina is only available for streaming video and has subtitles. That’s enough to send most viewers scurrying for the remote. An Argentine film uses the Spanish title: El Escape de Hitler.

However, don’t be hasty. This little film may be a lost gem in the ‘Where’s Adolph?’ sweepstakes.

The recent Bob Baer series on History channel took many ideas from this 87-minute documentary—and left out some of the most intriguing theories.

Some rather suspenseful direction from Matias Gueilburt helps to hold your interest with effective historical movie clips, and host Carlos de Napoli is hilariously mysterious in his demeanor as he follows the trail from Nuremberg and Austrian locations to the Argentine border of Bariloche where Hitler and his bride seemingly ended up.

If the area in Argentina didn’t already have a Bavarian appeal, the local German residents went all out to make it homey. They even planted trees imported from Germany to make the local lake look even more like the Fatherland.

Our old friend from the CIA, Allen Dulles, shows up here as the man who orchestrated a deal with Hitler to have him disappear in exchange for all those rocket scientists who later put an American on the Moon. This sort of discounts all those Ancient Alien types who think Hitler jumped instead into a time machine called The Bell and took off for parts in the distant future.

So, with American cover, the Nazi murdering monster went missing while everyone looked the other way. Flown out of his bunker well before the Soviets came by, he jumped onto a U-boat and disembarked in Argentina, traveling across the country to the Andes.

If true, Hitler and his wife lived out their golden years in a remote luxury mansion with all the accoutrements of Alpine living, including their round-the-clock security and nearby airplane for a fast getaway.

It’s fascinating, if nothing else.

MacBird Outdid Trump as Caesar 45 years ago

 Julius Trump?

DATELINE:  Shakespeare in Absentia

We have seen many updated versions of Shakespeare over the years. Indeed, we enjoy seeing the Bard transported to new locations and timeframes. It often electrifies the message that has become stale to modern audiences.

We have seen Shakespeare set in Nazi Germany (Richard III), in the world of bikers (Coriolanus), in the world of independent film students (Hamlet), a corporate boardroom (Othello), and now we find a stage production of Julius Caesar in American politics.

The Shakespeare in the Park production makes Caesar a lookalike Donald Trump who hath grown ambitious. He has that chock of blond hair weave and an overlong red tie. He also has a bloated ego.

The man who would be emperor is assassinated by senators with knives, just like 2000 years ago. How much progress we have made in politics?

This version has created a firestorm, causing corporate sponsors to try to stifle artistic expression by withdrawing support. It’s a tempest in a teapot.

We think back to the Vietnam War days—and back then we must have been less sensitive because Macbeth was presented on stage in the form of MacBird.

That little ditty suggested that Lyndon Johnson had been behind the assassination of John Kennedy. In this cruel satire, without the Shakespearean tongue, the Scottish thane Macbird and his wife, Lady Bird, are party to a ruthless series of killings to rise to the top of the nation. Was Lyndon not born of woman?

We recall amusement about seeing a dumb tasteless play that presented President Johnson portrayed for conspiracy theorists  as Macbeth, but it did not quite engender the furor that President Trump has exemplified in a Caesar mode.

Satirizing politics of the moment has become a dangerous business. Just ask Alec Baldwin or Kathy Griffin who claim they are subject to social anger on social media.

So, too, Julius Caesar has created a debate—not about politics, but about art. To be or not, we’ll wait for the movie version.

Acknowledging the Unacknowledged

DATELINE:    World’s Biggest Secret?

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When you make an audacious claim that you are about to acknowledge the greatest secret in history, you better have a good one. Asking the audience to suspend belief on whether your movie is truthful may be too much to ask, or asking for trouble.

Unacknowledged: An Expose of the World’s Greatest Secret, a production from an arm of the lobby run by Dr. Steven Greer, takes a big bite out of the American pie.

We have not flinched in the task of looking at dubious documentaries that bring ridicule from a wide group of the population when it comes to an alien presence on Earth. The biggest budget, most powerful of all these documentaries, came out in 2017, flying in the face of the dangers of having government black ops who may wipe them out for the revelations. Yes, there’s an annual black hole of billions of dollars going into the budget of black ops, with no control from the U.S. Congress. It is scary.

So far, the government has benignly ignored the most shocking, by its own boast, of all UFO conspiracy movies.

We can recall Harry Lime in The Third Man claiming he would think nothing of removing a few “dots” of people from his mighty and lofty perch for a profit. It would seem Dr. Steven Greer has found that attitude prevalent among a shadow government that runs the black ops side of the United States.

This intelligent and well-produced documentary features some horrific images of the 20th and 21st century that are not usually shown on TV. If the plan is to shock us into fear, they are doing a good job. It seems, according to this theory, “they” will erase you if you try to stop them.

The enemy is not space aliens if this film theory is correct, but a consortium of the military-industrial complex that does not want to lose its grip on profit from world order. Werner Von Braun warned on his deathbed that they would use an alien attack, convincingly staged, to keep control of the world by enlisting the public’s support.

Greer enlists an array of impressive people, out of the closet, to state the ancient astronauts are out there, waiting to help us combat those who’d destroy the planet for profit. It’s like putting a cherry on a mud pie.

You may also wonder why Dr. Greer has not been assassinated for leading the call for citizen outreach to the five or six extraterrestrial civilizations that are visiting Earth regularly. He believes the governments have been co-opted, if not corrupted, and presidents are mere pawns of fake news.

Clearly this well-financed movie documentary indicates that the true believers are striking back at the empire of billionaires with their own money.

This may be the ultimate movie about truth, justice, and the American Way. Heaven help us, but if we are waiting for a visitor from a strange planet with super powers to rescue society, it’s already too late.

DNA in Unlikely Places, like Burial Shroud of Jesus

DATELINE:   Scoffers, Begone!

Jesus dna      Shroud of Turin image

Leave it to the History Channel to come up with a quest with two millennial kids who look like they have been given a banana split at the local ice cream parlor. Nonetheless, The Jesus Strand: A Search for DNA is fascinating.

In all fairness, the researchers are George Busby who is a geneticist from Oxford, and his partner is Pastor Joe Basile, with credentials in Bible Studies. They are young and exuberant.

Together they decide with the upgrade in DNA research to see if there is a strand that identifies Jesus of Nazareth and his bloodline. So, before you can hop and skip over 2000 years, they are finding the DNA results from the Shroud of Turin, and the Sudarium of Oviedo in Spain, both purported to be two cloths mentioned in the New Testament.

The jet-setting research is intriguing, and our boyish scientists only betray their preconceived notions when they reject testing bones from a Jewish ossuary that could be confirmation, or denial of a connection.

Some archeological research is new as well, like the bones found ten years ago that are 2000 years old, testing from the 1st century and called the bones of John the Baptist.

They even look at nails, less likely to maintain DNA and a dead end.

Their startling results show how much can still be learned. The blood, on the two cloths, is from the same man who died in crucifixion. With rare AB bloodtype, most prevalent in Middle Eastern people, the man thought to be Jesus shows a connection to the Druze religious sect that has kept its purity for a thousand years.

Someone in his family intermarried with Druze people, likely his mother’s side. The descendants come down from the unnamed sisters of Jesus in the gospels.

Non-believers may scoff, but still find the result not inconsistent with identifying the man of the shroud. Believers may be more inclined to reject the findings that go against their dogma.

All in all, it is a whirlwind of discovery that makes for what passes for revelations in our cynical age.

The Aliens Are Coming!

 DATELINE:  New Paul Revere Warning!

Ancient Aliens begins Season 12 with a couple of episodes that further the evolving notion that the ancient astronauts of lore were NOT benevolent. There has been a change in tone, and the early episodes now seem to be less happy that something is out there.

A new opening season comes up with the idea that Reagan’s Star Wars is a concept to protect the Earth. A base on the Moon, done perhaps with some helpful aliens, has been established to keep an eye to the sky for the bad guys’ return.

Indeed, there is a growing belief that the venerable series is now a pathway for the government to plant the idea that we ought to be ready for life on other planets. The 2017 episodes won’t say so, but hints that failed North Korean nuclear tests are the result of alien intervention.

The second episode of the new season turns out to be a classic of investigation and revelation: taking on a mysterious sphere located in Florida in 1974 (then mysteriously confiscated by the government). It featured atomic weight inside that made it extremely dangerous if drilled open.

Where did it come from? Perhaps it is explained by the discovery, revealed in depth, that King Tut’s knife has finally been analyzed—discovered to be forged out of alloys unknown in Ancient Egypt, perhaps from a meterorite.

And also in 2017, there is an uncovering of the Iron Wedge, located in Romania 40 years ago, and hidden. It was another alloy chunk of metal found with mammoth bones, dating back 40,000 years. What gives?

We are troubled when Erich Van Daniken and his wild haired protégé are shown an object, handled by the curator with gloves, and they pick it up with bare hands. It tells us all you want to know about self-importance and suspect science.

Ancient Aliens has plenty of theories, compelling us into the rest of the season of shows.

Clinton Supporters Blackball Their Friends Post-Election

DATELINE:  Unpleasant Discovery

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Thanksgiving is over, but not the political brawls.

Though many wanted to avoid politics during the traditional dinner, it was truly unnecessary. Offended parties likely avoided breaking bread with the newly minted, newly hated enemy: Victors of the Trump campaign.

We found that this number of indignant and raging sore losers were all Clinton supporters. They demonized anyone who voted for Trump as a racist, homophobe, and misogynist. This turn of events only occurred after the votes were counted.

They were prepared to continue to be your hypocritical friend if Clinton had won—and gloat over your support for Trump.

If Hillary had won, they might have been more tolerant.

Friends of long-standing now have unfriended Trump supporters and blocked their calls.  If you had exchanged birthday cards for decades, or helped a friend through a crisis or two, you now learned that your vote for Trump made you anathema. Excommunicated.

It is certainly bracing to learn that people you liked and trusted for years really harbored a contempt for your politics that they could no longer forgive.

Not everyone who voted for Trump is racist, but Clinton supporters have broadened the definition to include anyone who didn’t agree with Hillary.

We find it interesting that the people who decried hate and haters turn out to be the worst offenders.

If you expect to call your former friends and Trump supporters with an apology, it may not work this time. And if you expect your quondam friends to recant their votes, that too is unlikely.

Perhaps it is indeed a time for giving thanks for finding out who your true friends are. Life teaches many unpleasant lessons and is patently unfair often—but finding out those you believed to be your friends are miserable and unfaithful is definitely a shocker.

Texan Two-Step to Avoid Third Defeat?

 DATELINE:  The End is Near!

At long last Tom Brady has deferred to our judgment.

Yes, in an interview this week, he said he did not dwell on scenarios for the playoffs—and left that sort of thing to the bloggers.

We have taken the easy way out by suggesting the Patriots will not make the playoffs this season. Like a bird with a broken wing, the Patsies face carnivores in the NFL who are ready to turn the ultimate predator into the juicy leavings of a good meal.

How nice of Tom to think of his blogging army at this time! He also thought the Patriots will have hands full just trying to stave off Texan Coach Bill O’Brien’s vengeance game. Tom’s former offensive coordinator and nemesis clashed on occasion when they worked together under Belichick a few short years ago.

O’Brien only shares a footnote with McDaniels as one of Tom Brady’s list of handlers. Where is Charlie Weis when you need him?

This is a new Brady, freshly pressed from his Botox treatments and directed by a rage you only see in movies like Death Wish.

Tom also expressed a hope that Gronk would return from injury “sooner than later.”  Ah, a man of understated hope and of realistic dreams, too. Yes, we think he wants Gronk back last week, if not sooner.

Without a half dozen of his coterie, Brady is limping along like those movie heroes who lose half their platoon during an impossible effort to recapture glory on a suicide mission.

Tom likely wishes he had his pal Donald Trump’s hubris—a galling confidence that makes him fly in the face of all odds. Tom is more realistic and has less money in the bank to mollify his sense of self-importance.

The eyes of Texas will be upon him—at least, the eyes of Texan pass rushers.

 

Peyton’s Place For Sale

DATELINE: In Absentia

 

How the mighty hath fallen. Especially his arches. With plantar fasciitis, Peyton Manning has trouble playing footsie, let alone football. Is this the end of Peyton’s ownership of the NFL?

Like another great quarterback that Manning just passed in the stats game, the redoubtable Brett Favre, Peyton may have overstayed his welcome at the Big Show.

Now with NFL network at odds over its marquee game of the week in the proverbial hopper, they no longer have their hero—Peyton—to dispatch the evil Brady.

Well, the NFL is not known for its moral choices.

We are happy that the Goodell bush league will lose a ton of money on this game—and they don’t even play BoyKings or FanDrool. The cash cow is now chopped liver. A Manning-Brady matchup is about as much fun as watching Republican non-entities Huckabee debate Jindal.

Brady is the last of the greats still standing. The NFL’s best laid plans of having Louise Brees, Duck Rodgers, and Kit Carson, considered the best in QB ranks is now a dead fish.

The man the NFL wants to most destroy is the last QB standing in the pocket, leaving Goodell likely to put a bountygate out on the Patriots.

The Commissioner tried to spygate and deflategate, but his gates are off hinges and croaking like the Tin Man.

And the youngsters like Luck, Kaepernick, and Manziel, are catastrophes of inconsistencies. What can a Commissioner do when his profit plans go awry? We recommend he resign—and fire the underlings.

Remember Whistle-gate!

 

Don Orsillo Loses His Head to King John Henry VIII’s Order!

DATELINE: John Henry as Queen of Hearts

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Don Orsillo Travels with Red Sox

King John Henry VIII has returned to his thrilling days of yesteryear.

He has called for the head of Don Orsillo on a silver platter.

Yes, the long-time voice of the Red Sox on television has been cut with all the pomp and circumstance owner John Henry can muster this side of a seppuku style suicide.
Known largely for his low key humor and patient tolerance of all things ridiculous, Don Orsillo now must gird his loins for the worst than can befall him. His television network, also owned by King John Henry, has decided the gentle voice and kind words of Don Orsillo do not fit a team that has sunk to the baseball cellar for two years running.

We had no idea that the man announcing the bad lineups ordered by King John Henry was also the fall guy for their failure.

Orsillo had shown grace under pressure while working aside long-time sidekick Jerry Remy whose own travails should have sent him packing years ago. With a series of medical problems and a problem child who committed murder, Jerry Remy has made Orsillo’s life difficult.

When a series of inexperienced and unprofessional partners were dumped upon him, Orsillo had the good grace to make them look almost tolerable. For that he has been rewarded with a vote of no confidence.

Someone with Orsillo’s mellifluous tones will no doubt find work quickly in another venue, better than the third-rate world of John Henry and Tom Werner’s media circus.

We feel compelled yet again to offer our bric-a-bracs to the front office buffoons who now run the Red Sox into the ground on a yearly basis.

 

Play Ball, or Else in Deflategate

DATELINE: EXPEDITIOUSLY

 His Honor, Judge Richard BermanFeatured image

The initial volley came after Judge Richard M. Berman met for twenty minutes, alone with Goodell, followed by thirty minutes, alone with Tom Brady.

Each man waited patiently while the other was in the robing room being undressed by the judge’s innocuous questions.

When Judge Berman began his proceedings, he announced that he expected an expeditious settlement—not a protracted trial that could run two years.

He added that he saw varying strengths in both sides, though he had not yet made up his mind. That is judicial legalese for baloney. He has a fairly good idea what should be done.

The bad news, indeed the worst news, would appear to befall Roger Goodell. Not that he was given only 20 minutes to speak, but that Judge Berman sees strengths on both sides. It means that Goodell’s wish for a slam-dunk, in your face ruling that he is king and emperor ain’t gonna happen.

Yes, Brady has made some points about his case. Whether that will entail a get out of jail for free card is not clear. He may have sounded reasonable enough to the judge to make Goodell look unreasonable.

Some are speculating that he has delivered a message that each side must now digest. Whether it goes right to the colon and out, or whether it is absorbed, only the next 48 hours will tell.

Another series of filings is due on Friday, and another hearing is scheduled for Wednesday.

We suspect that next Wednesday may make one of the combatants look ashen.