The President Rings Twice, and the Patriots Answer

DATELINE:  Ring-a-Ding Trump

off off-season   Mr. Kraft to you bradys-friend

Having eschewed humorous sports reports on Boston travesties lately, we are forced into a return to the topic one more time.

For this, you can thank Robert Kraft, owner of the New England Patriots and close friend of President Donald Trump.

In April, one of the first big sports events of the Trump era was the visit of the Super Bowl champs of 2017 to the White House. This fiasco was decorated with many missing members of the team who protested the new President. One can only wonder how many of the black players might find their lives hardly mattering after the incidents of KKK and neo-Nazis in Charlottesville or Charlotte’s Web.

They might feel some blame for the violence, making their livings through one of the most concussed and violent games around.

However, we beat a dead horse when today’s news is not fake enough for the alt-right. Yes, Robert Kraft has bestowed one of his $36,000 diamond-studded Super Bowl rings on Mr. Trump.

Usually the President receives a jersey with Tom Brady’s partial number, 1, on it, if it is recovered from international thieves.

However, this year, the man who often breaks bread with Trump and flies on Air Force One often, decided to break precedent and give the President one of those prized rings.

Reportedly, Kraft wanted Trump to have something to put into his presidential library when his term is up, sooner than later, with not much to show for it so far.

Kraft also gave a ring to Tom Brady’s mother for her valiant battle against cancer, which felled Kraft’s wife several years ago. It was Trump’s condolences back then that sealed his friendship with the billionaire NFL owner.

 

 The White House is not talking about when the ring was made or bestowed. And, the Patriots have only made a sly announcement this week in the midst of the pre-season after a tumultuous off off-season.

You can read all about it in Ossurworld’s notorious book, The Patriots Most Off Off-Season Ever, perhaps the last in the Patriots series of hilarious, if not nasty, accounts of their dynastic years.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Invaders from Mars: Revisiting 1953

DATELINE:  William Cameron Menzies Masterpiece

 

Hunt v. octopus  Jimmy Takes on Octopus

William Cameron Menzies turned in one of his best efforts as director and set designer on this classic science fiction thriller, entitled Invaders from Mars.

Menzies employed stylized sets, especially barren trees along a perimenter of sand dunes, imposing and overwhelming police offices, and garish color. It created a nightmare scenario for a ten-year old boy thrown into a paranoid delusion.

Actor Jimmy Hunt was the perfect little all-American boy who sees a saucer land in the yard up the hill from his cottage home. There, his parents turn malevolent after being sucked under ground by strange forces that turn dunes into quicksand. It does not help that his parents are well-known  standard villainous actors Leif Erikson and Hillary Brooke. You are also treated to an unusual display of child abuse when Erikson slugs his son.

The music is choral voices mimicking the noise that foreshadows horror when adults are sucked into the alien den and replaced with a probe inserted into the base of their skulls, turning them into automatons. This played on the greatest childhood fear—that parents can become hideous zombies.

Ancient aliens turn out to be robotic slaves to a reptilian octopus in a fish bowl. Yikes, what could be more hallucinogenic? Special effects don’t need CGI to be breathtaking.

At the peak of the Cold War when communists were hiding under every bed, you had an equal paranoid takeover by creatures from another world. The film stands out as one of a handful of remarkable science fiction to emerge from the era.

This holds up to the test of time and remains as creepy as what you might find today in Twin Peaks.

 

 

Boy Culture in Homestretch

 DATELINE:  Production Deadline Looms

 Darryl    Actor & Author Darryl Stephens
The sequel to the phenomenal hit 2006’s Boy Culture, an extraordinary high-quality movie about gay life, may be about to hit the wall.

With days to go, the project desperately needs backers to reach its Kickstarter goal of $50,000. Nearly 300 diehard fans of the original movie have pledged to help produce a TV series to follow up on the characters and the culture.

Darryl Stephens is signed to reprise his role from the original show. You can pick up his autobiography on Amazon.

Time, in fact, maybe the worst enemy of gay movie culture. With only a few days left, will the gay community–and others– come through to help save the project?

Boy Culture should not be the purview of a few gay men. It should be the interest of anyone who believes the world of LGBT deserves positive presentation.

We saw a similar project come to fruition through this means, which ended with a brilliant little slice-of-gay-life movie called Chasing Pavement with Remy Mars.
Those who appreciate the need of artists to have backing need to step up again–this time for director Allan Brocka to weave his movie magic again.

Perhaps some glorious Angel will fly down to the set and pre-production group like a Deus ex machina and lay on $10,000 (buckeroos, not bitcoin) to the producers, director, and writer.

Perhaps one of those show busy angels does it in the movies, or even in a TV series. However, in real life, perhaps you need to be involved.

We anxiously await word on the fate of Boy Culture: The Series.

Patriots’ Most Off Off-season Ever!

off off-season

New Book!

It is a hilarious romp that could make a highlight reel of its own!

From a championship ride through the streets of Boston before 1 million fans – to winning the ESPY award, you can follow every strange moment in Patriots history of 2017!

If you want to see what your New England Patriots have been on up to since the Super Bowl victory in January, and before they have begun the new campaign of 2017, you need to look at the new book that details every ridiculous adventure, scandal, and outrageous behavior, of the winning team.

From the twisted blogs of Ossurworld who was there for every minute!

now available on Amazon for smart readers and their tablets.

The Stunt Man: Rush Job

DATELINE:  Mad Director Meets Madder Stunt Man

otoole

If you ever wondered what it might’ve been like to walk onto the set of legendary superstar Peter O’Toole during filming, your chance came in 1980 with the movie The Stunt Man, directed by Richard Rush.

The title is two words because Burt Reynolds sued director Rush over the title, wanting it for his movie tribute to stuntmen. They split the difference.

It’s a comedy action thriller drama Hollywood insider movie about the making of an out-of-control World War I epic anti-war movie with more explosions and killings than supports its so-called plot of the movie-within-a-movie.

It also costars Steve Railsback, in a rare heroic role as a Vietnam vet with post-traumatic stress syndrome. Fleeing from police, he wanders onto the set of O’Toole’s Eli Cross production and is immediately sucked into the ruse of taking up the role of a stunt man who was killed accidentally that day.

O’Toole knows he has a fugitive on his hands, but needs to prevent an investigation into his botched movie stunt.

Railsback was fresh off playing Charles Manson in Helter-Skelter for a movie mini-series. Peter O’Toole based his wacky director on his work with David Lean during the making of Lawrence of Arabia.

Flying around the set on a crane, O’Toole’s ego-maniacal director will risk anything to get his movie on film, including the accidental death of crew-members. Yes, this is a comedy, but not quite like you expect.

This movie probably would never be made today, even with rogue directors and winking cable studios financing the project.  Then, again, we admit that Twin Peaks was given a green-light.

When Railsback asks O’Toole why he is protecting the fugitive, O’Toole answers: “Because I’m in love with your dark side.” It makes perfect sense.

Railsback was never so handsome, and O’Toole was never quite so cuckoo.  It makes for a delicious movie, though it is about a half-hour too long.

In its earlier incarnation, it was given little publicity in its release. O’Toole commented the film was not released, “It escaped.”

 

Nikola Tesla: More than Meets the Eye

DATELINE:  Under Appreciated Genius

Tesla & sparks

PBS produced a documentary on the mysterious genius born in 1856 whose inventions seem to include Star Wars Defense Initiative and particle beam death rays.

Its title is Tesla: Master of Lightning, and he used electrical currents to win a war with Edison, light up a World’s Fair, and made himself glow in the dark.

We may never know the whole story as Tesla’s notebooks disappeared when he died in 1943. Were they stolen by Nazi spies? Russians? The FBI?

A recent little book by Ralph T. O’Neal III came to our attention in which Tesla’s stolen secrets are the McGuffin of an extra-governmental conspiracy in something called Shadow War: MJ-12 Versus the Vatican.

MJ12kindlecover

The final segment of the PBS film seems to hint at futuristic, Jules Verne technology created by Nikola Tesla.

The man came out of nowhere, Croatia in 1884, and immediately became enemies with Thomas Edison, J. Pierpoint Morgan, and Guillermo Marconi. That’s quite a climb to infamy when a poor immigrant hobnobs with the greats of the 19th century a few years after arriving in New York.

Trump would not have let Tesla into the country if he tried to enter today.

The documentary and the life of Tesla almost seems like science fiction—but it is tragedy and enigma wrapped in a bit of showmanship by the great inventor.

Most today know the name Tesla as a progressive car. He was much more than that, and you may owe it to yourself to learn about a man who eschewed fortune and lost his fame.

Collide with Nicholas Hoult

DATELINE:  Overripe Vintage Villains

hoult2

Oh, no, not a noisy car chase movie with Nicholas Hoult? Heavens, spare us. On top of that, the Brit actor again plays an American boy with a surfer accent. Not bad.

He seems to have gone the route of James Franco—two inconsequential movies and one film of substance. Collide seems to be inconsequential, but not so fast.

We rolled our eyes when the first scene of Nick Hoult is his blue eyes in the rear-view mirror as he races down the highway, heading for a metaphoric crash as the voice-over notes how he did it all for love.

We prepared for movieland dismissal. However, something surprised us: suddenly there was Ben Kingsley in one of his patented creepy mobster roles, watching an old John Travolta movie and commenting on the bad acting. Oh?

He started calling Hoult by the movie star name of “Burt Reynolds.”  We were hooked, and then some when Kingsley’s archrival drug kingpin is none other than Shakespearean nasty villain Anthony Hopkins, playing the respectable son of a Nazi interrogator.

All the crime henchmen look like the bearded ladies at the circus. And, one of many chases was on.

It was ridiculous to say the least: Hoult’s girlfriend is on dialysis, but remains a party-girl for his love. Big crime will pay for a kidney transplant. Okay.

The chases and fights do leave Hoult breathless and agonized, which one seldom sees in heroes of this brand of movie. He clearly wanted to perform with the legends of Hopkins and Kingsley—and he manages to more than hold his own.

It’s all over the top, but we stayed around for the credits—never expecting that Hopkins and Kingsley would be billed as “Sir Anthony” and “Sir Ben” and then have stunt doubles listed.

Yeah, we liked this one.

Shooting the Messenger?

 DATELINE:  Drama at Its Most Gripping

intense

In 2009 director Owen Moverman teamed up Woody Harrelson and Ben Foster as captain and staff sergeant whose onerous duty is to inform people that their loved one has been killed in action. The story is The Messenger, about those who deliver the worst news to the official next-of-kin of America’s fallen soldiers.

It is horrific duty and makes compelling drama. Foster takes on a sympathetic and unusual role of heroic character, next to hard-ass officer who also must keep up regulations as a defense mechanism as civilian next-of-kin receive life-altering news.

The job is standard operating procedure, militarized and standardized. In years past there was only an impersonal telegram of bad news. Today it is the human face on inhumanity.

Everyone acts differently to the news, just as everyone acts different to death. They don’t know these people and enter only as minor, nearly dehumanized, figures delivering major news.

Ethics, pity, and duty, come to a crossroads as these soldiers face the most painful of all parts of a solider’s life: his death from combat.

You could say this is an actor’s film, and Moverman is clearly an actor’s director. He gives the performers some highly charged, internal and external emotional moments. It is riveting to watch heroes suffer and do what most of us could never want to face. The actors prove their abilities.

Young Staff Sergeant Montgomery has difficulty with maintaining an impersonal and unemotional attitude. On the other hand, Captain Stone, with a name to symbolize what looks like a callous demeanor, takes his job harder and buries the pain deeper.

Without characters making bad decisions, you likely never have a conflict in war movies. These are not automatons, but real men re-living post-traumatic events repeatedly. 

The film is too emotionally charged to be depressing or sad. An ultimate catharsis makes this a literate man’s war film.

Rebel in the Rye Catches Nicholas Hoult

DATELINE:  See You in September, Release Date

REAL SALINGER   hoult

Real J.D. Salinger and the Real Nick Hoult

If we were to pick our favorite recluses, J.D. Salinger is up there with B. Traven and Greta Garbo.

Now comes forth an intriguing film about the years before Jerome David Salinger went private-mad.

Nicholas Hoult has sent out a Facebook message about his new movie, Rebel in the Rye.

The handsome young British actor has perfected his American accent enough to go for playing a New York writer in the 1940s.

J.D. Salinger famously published but one novel and preferred the genre of short story and novella. Who can blame him? His greatest hit is titled Catcher in the Rye, which a few people have read over the past 60 years.

Salinger would never let Hollywood ever come near his cherished novel. And, they threw oodles of money at his feet, but he was adamant.

So, how would J.D. feel about a movie depicting his post-traumatic experiences in World War II as the backdrop for writing his “grand” novel. Heavens, Holden Caulfield would have a fit over calling his story grand.

And, boy, would he throw a fit over this movie! Privacy is certainly dead nowadays.

Nicholas Hoult is always fascinating to watch, but he may seem a touch different here. It’s the brown contact lenses to cover up those startling blue eyes that vaulted him to fame among devoted distaff viewers.

With Kevin Spacey as his demanding editor, Hoult’s Salinger comes across as chummy, not reclusive. Ah, youth.

The best we can give you at this point is a trailer. So here goes.

So here goes.

Deep Impact: 20 Years Later

 DATELINE:  Stars Die to Save Humanity

deep impact

We heard that the premise of this old disaster movie was actually based on a government plan of what would happen in an Extinction Level Event. The first 20 minutes of this film are marvelous, intelligent, and suddenly undone.

Its special effects are not bad, even by today’s hyped-up computer special-effects level of distinction. Yet, there is something sadly wasteful about the movie. And, some of the scenes are way off:  World Trade Center meets a horrible fictional end.

Oh, this disaster had a woman director, Mimi Leder and was produced by Stephen Spielberg and Richard Zanuck. The film throws some great performers into the mix in small, unimportant roles: Vanessa Redgrave and Maximilian Schell are not given much to do as Tea Leoni’s parents. Why are they there, except for a paycheck?

Morgan Freeman plays an Obama-style president ten years before Obama actually became the first black president. You can throw in James Cromwell for a few minutes, and Elijah Wood looks downright adolescent as the kid who first discovers the deadly impact is coming on his small telescope.

Oh, you will see Jon Favreau and Blair Underwood as Robert Duvall’s astronaut crew—and Leelee Sobleski hangs around too.

All these wonderful performers were faced with a deplorable situation: and it wasn’t the plot. It was a bad music score that often drowns out their most dramatic moments and lines. Who decided to Mickey Mouse the film like it was a Road Runner cartoon?

Most fans of disaster will hang around to see the world crumble. It’s 1997, folks, so the World Trade Center is standing until a tidal wave hits. The Statue of Liberty loses her head, and the Brooklyn Bridge is awash.

It’s the big pay-off, but the film is not so awful as to kill everyone. Hope spring eternal when stars sacrifice their lives (and careers) to save humanity. If this is a spoiler, we plead guilty.

What a disappointing movie.

Tom Brady in Absentia

 DATELINE:  No Clothes Unmake the Man

LA ESPY NEP

 

Who could blame Tom Brady not showing up at an extravaganza run by Peyton Manning?

The ESPY awards show on ABC gave out commendations for all of the sports media events of the past year. Of course, the Patriots Super Bowl game was the greatest game of the season. It’s not surprising that the Patriots won, but it is surprising at who showed up to get the award as the stand-in, likely hand-picked emissary.

Now we know that Tom Brady and ESPN are inextricably linked through Deflategate. It was they who broke the story, and some think it was they who made it up as they went along.

And so, though it may look generous, Tom allowed of the Patriot players to show up in fancy and colorful tuxedos. Not a Kraft was there to hog the spotlight.

Of course, the other big Patriot name name was not there: Gronk.

That’s to be expected.

After all, he did not even play in the big game. So, who took the honors? Oh, those Bobsey Twins of the Patriots, Julian Edelman and Danny Amendola.

Edelman will clearly step in as Tom Brady’s Deflategate surrogate whenever opportunity avails itself.

Whether Julie is self-anointed or chosen as the man most likely Tom’s shadow by the others on stage, he stepped into the ESPY breach. His consort-in-arms, Danny, is just as home on the catwalk too, but he knows how to pull back from the limelight.

Julian recently bared all for the bright light of fame in the nude issue of ESPN’s annual beefcake light adult magazine.

Edelman has never shied from any limelight. Last night in LA, he kept his clothes on.

 

 

Tom Brady Writes a Book: Sort of

DATELINE: Literary Lightweights

kindlecover

No, we are innocent of the crime:  we did not ghostwrite Tom Brady’s new book: The TB12 Method.

We suspect that even Tom does not know who wrote his book. He only found out he wrote a book recently.  He has been busy doing other things, like traveling to China, training for the new season in Wyoming, and charity events—not to mention teaming up with Tony Robbins.

The Robbins event would have been a good chance to announce his new motivational book.  He didn’t because the corporation behind Tom, into making money, only tells Tom about the checks he receives for endorsements. So, who wrote Tom’s new book?

And will this be a better best seller than Tom’s pajamas or secret recipe compilation? It likely won’t be cheap to buy. Tom likes expensive prices on his merchandise. He learned that from Tony Robbins.

The world learned this week about Tom Brady’s new literary effort that is based on his dietary, physical training and personal philosophy.  The book will be out during the upcoming season to maximize royalty payments.

We don’t know when Tom had time to write so-called book, but certainly the idea was floating around when he did the Tony Robbins motivational speaker show in Boston. If he had been working on the book then, he would’ve likely mentioned it during his appearance as a motivational speaker. He did not.

However, he may have been inspired to come up with a book to make more money when he heard Julian Edelman wrote a children’s book about a greedy squirrel with an obsession on nuts.

Tom’s book is already a best-seller on Amazon–without a cover or a price.

We would like to take credit as Tom’s ghost writer, but the book apparently is not about ghosts, nor one with humorous intent or comical asides.  Tom does that quite well– but we are slightly better.

So, we are forced to ask Tom: Was it something we said in one of our nasty books on a previous Patriots season or on the scandal of Deflategate that caused Tom’s handlers to select a different ghostwriter?

We know Tom would have picked us if he knew he was writing a book. He appreciates excellence in grammar.

Will Success Spoil Tom Brady?

 best buds

DATELINE:  Tony Robbins Extravaganza on Wealth

While former FBI Director James Comey was sticking a knife in the back of Donald Trump, Tom Brady was on stage in Boston giving a peptalk to those willing to pay $3000 to hear his words of wisdom. He did not walk on hot coals as Tony Robbins usually requires.

Based on the notes of Tom’s short speech, he had nothing to say about Donald Trump. Nor did he say a great deal about how he married Big and Beautiful $$$ himself.

That’s one sure way to accumulate wealth fast. In case you are living in a cave, or not a real Patriot fan, Tom’s wife is Giselle Bundchen, the highly successful but retired supermodel.

Tom basically gave his rags-to-riches story in terms of his making every football team where he ever tried out.

In case you didn’t know, he was he was Drew Bledsoe’s back up for a short time. He generously said he learned much from Bledsoe, but we recall that when Bledsoe returned from injury he started acting like Brady.

Someone learned from Tom’s peptalk and he didn’t have to pay an entrance fee. There were plenty of people willing to fork out big bucks to hear this drivel.

Brady admitted he didn’t know how to put on football pads when he first started playing. Fortunately, now he can’t afford to find someone someone to dress him.  They are called personal assistants. To be Tom’s assistant maybe as close as some of these rich folks in the audience will come to success.

We suspect that the audience of millennial’s, as young as they are, are already too old to follow and Tom’s footsteps. That is unless you want to marry money.

Julian Edelman was there as Brady’s personal sidekick and gadfly.  Edelman worships the ground Tom walks on, and apparently sells the sod to those who want to touch greatness.

Julie E has a chip on his shoulder as he told the audience. He had to work for everything he has. It takes a great deal of work to keep everyone away from his good friend Tom Brady. That’s how you remain the best friend (by taking the role of Richard III).

If you missed the Tom Brady/Julian Edelman talk on success, you didn’t miss much. You would’ve learned a great deal more by listening to former FBI Director Comey as he detailed how Tom’s good friend tells lies, plain and simple. And we don’t mean Tony Robbins.

Twin Peaks, Trump Plains, & Celtics Lows

DATELINE:  LeBron James as Laura Palmer, Trump as D.B. Cooper

glowing orb

Chicken or egg? We can’t figure out if the Trump Administration has prepared us for the new series Twin Peaks, or whether Twin Peaks has prepared us for the continuing weirdness of the Trump presidency.

When we see President Trump putting his hands on a glowing orb, we know there is a conspiracy of billionaires to control the world. Of course, it is merely a futuristic ribbon-cutting scene from the most recent Star Wars movie. Either that, or it is opening a gateway to an alternate universe, like the plots of Twin Peaks.

By the same token, we feel as if watching the Cleveland Cavaliers with the Boston Celtics is like knitting by Madame Defarge while royalty is having their heads chopped off.

On Twin Peaks, agent DB Cooper has returned to the northwest after disappearing for 25 years. That David Lynch has such a sense of humor.  So far, McLachlan has not rubbed any glowing orbs, but has kissed dead Laura Palmer (Cheryl Lee).

On the Celtics, little Cousin IT (Isaiah Thomas) and AB (Avery Bradley) are from the same neck of the woods in Washington state which happens to be the setting for Twin Peaks. It could explain a lot about how the Celtics are playing like Laura Palmer’s body wrapped in plastic.

Even stranger, we were amazed to see Kyle McLachlan and Sheryl Lee looking just like they stepped out of a 1990s TV show.  It becomes even more amazing when David Lynch has to inject a phrase at the end of every episode of the show that the episode is dedicated to the memory of one of the cast members who is now dead. We mean really really dead dead, like the log lady Catherine Coulson and the FBI agent played by Miguel Ferrer.

As for the dead Celtics, they are merely playing in an alternate universe, sort of like Twin Peaks 25 years later. If there is a glowing orb in the NBA, they better start rubbing it now. Lebron is no Laura Palmer.

Long Forgotten Executive Action

DATELINE:  Believe It or Don’t

 action

One of the most unusual of the early theoretical movies on the Kennedy Assassination was called Executive Action from 1973, a mere ten years after the event.

Already big questions had sparked big movie stars like Burt Lancaster, Robert Ryan, and Will Geer, as well as John Anderson (often chosen to play Abe Lincoln in movies and TV) as billionaire conspirators who want the President dead.

They select a patsy who is some kind of covert double agent. His name is Oswald.

Though the film claims to be somewhat fictional, it quotes Lydon Johnson at the movie start as saying he believed that John Kennedy was killed by an unknown group. This movie, made with the participation of early assassination doubter Mark Lane, is fairly courageous and breath-taking, even after five decades.

We must also express surprise at the stars who chose to play the men who want President Kennedy dead.

The film is no cheap, low-budget affair. It is well produced and directed by David Miller who made some interesting movies in the 1950s and was written by Dalton Trumbo, the famous blacklisted writer.

This returned Grandpa Walton to the bad guy roles that made him famous early in his roles, and Will Geer is notably sinister. This was also Robert Ryan’s final film.

The angles, once thought to be outrageous, have become more acceptable in recent research. The film may not be a genuine biopic or docudrama in the sense of trying to achieve 100% truth, but this may be closer than anyone thought back in the 1970s.

More than a curio, this film is downright compelling to watch.