A-Rod Catches Last Train to Palookaville

DATELINE: Into the Sunset


Long ago and far away in a distant world of California in 1962, Richard Nixon abruptly quit politics. He said you would no longer have Dick Nixon to kick around anymore.

This week history has repeated itself, as it usually does. In New York and in a far away and distant world, baseball Palooka Alexander Rodriguez better known as A-Rod, held a press conference and basically said you wouldn’t have his Rod to kick around anymore.

Those who know history know that Richard Nixon had quite a big come back before he had quite a big fall again. People like A-Rod who don’t know history are doomed to repeat it. In baseball, doom is rampant.

We suspect A-Rod will return sooner than a Nixon, but with the same result. A-Rod shall return.

We aren’t sure if A-Rod is more like Richard Nixon or Douglas MacArthur. Old home run hitters on the verge of hitting 700 homers are┬álikely not to fade away when millions of dollars are at stake. They will keep coming back for another at bat. True enough, A-Rod is not as old as Nixon on MacArthur, but neither is he as young as Michael Phelps, the gold medal apologist for all his life’s sins.

Your mission, Mr. Phelps, we mean Mr. A-Rod, is nearly impossible. Should you fail to accomplish your goal, all fans of baseball will disavow any knowledge of you. Good luck, Mr. Phelps, and good luck, Mr. Rodriguez. May the golden days be with you.arod