Boston Sinks in the Fenway Miasma

Gone with the Victories

 

DATELINE: Run Out of Town, Fast

Flush twice, Boston. It’s a long way to the bottom of the septic tank.

It would appear only two people recognized how bad Boston’s sports teams would be this year: the two stars who bailed on the town they never liked. We speak of Mookie Betts (World Series victor) and Tom Brady (another Super Bowl in Tompa Bay).

Every sports pundit and media expert in Boston failed to see the writing on the wall. Maybe they just can’t read Sanskrit or profanity.

Some are now casting blame on the genius Bill Belichick. Those people have clearly thought genius and hubris were synonyms. Belichck systematically disarmed Tom Brady over the years until the man ran off with Antonia Brown, deserting his Julie in the process. 

The Red Sox threw a boatload of money at Mookie and he gave them the finger, not the thumbs up. Some claim these Trump supporters hated Boston’s political climate—as does Belichick. And owners who poured cash into winning, now are extracting cash faster than you can say Trump Tower bankruptcy.

Only Robert Kraft who likes to kiss his players’ butt has been caught with his pants down. John Henry has become the Claude Rains of Boston We used to see him at Symphony Hall now and then with a beautiful young man in tow, but the pandemic seems to have put the kibosh on those tunes.

Now we have a Bean Town full of beans and no counters to the problem of no beanie balls.

We are headed back to the 1960s when Patsies played at Fenway to empty seats and the Sox played to the same group in the other season.

No one believes us when we tell them about the good old days  when you could go to Fenway on game day and find a box seat two rows back from the field. Maybe those days are coming baaaack.

 

 

FORBIDDEN BRITISH ISLAND

Guernsey Island

DATELINE: Nazi Prize

 Observation Towers

A surprisingly good documentary series continues to tag each episode with some kind of sensational title. The latest entry in the Secret Nazi Ruins show is called “Forbidden Island,” like it’s some kind of sex retreat.

Guernsey Island, a British protectorate in the English Channel, was closer to France than England. In 1940 Churchill and the British evacuated as many as they could possibly before the Germans marched in, or sailed in, one week later. It was a feather in Hitler’s cap. He took part of England while he engaged in blitzing London with bombs.

It was a place of no strategic importance, but England lost a popular vacation retreat to the Nazis.

Almost immediately, Hitler went mad with his new conquered territory, sending thousands of troops and forced labor to build bunkers, observation towers, and gun placements. He expected the Brits would come charging back to take their property. They never did. It was ignored for the remainder of the war by the Allies.

Hitler’s nutty approach gave Guernsey an unlimited budget of resources to build some of the most amazing underground labyrinths in his thousand-year Reich. Nearly 80 feet under the earth, these hallways with hospitals, air shafts, septic systems and 29 separate tunnels were a luxury of insane proportion. Useless and expensive.

The half-dozen observation towers looked futuristic then, and still do. Everything is nearly pristine from lack of use and careful construction. The isolated island’s biggest drawback was that it could not ultimately supply food to its soldiers stationed there.

A week after the war ended, the Nazi contingent with duty that was holiday-level had to surrender, lest they die in the postcard pretty island retreat.

 

 

Borat’s Subsequent Moviejob

 No Monkey on Back?

 DATELINE: Borat’s Bell Ringing

Sacha Baron Cohen has been called “a creep” by the POTUS because of his merciless political satire on the entire McDonald Trump administration. Oi Vey, to say the least.

In a turn of the screw, Cohen’s Borat refers to the fast-food President as McDonalds Trump. There is one zinger after another in this horrifying movie. Borat requires a sense of humor of the 21stcentury: Oscar Wilde and Noel Coward fans need not apply.

Borat comes, as his followers know, from a backward nation under Putin’s thumb. There is an Arab streak in him inexplicably. Since his first movie fifteen years ago, he has been a political prisoner in his homeland, released only with another dangerous US mission. He is to deliver a pornographic monkey to Mikhael Pence, as a peace/piece offering.

When this fails, Borat plans to give Pence, Trump, or any of the Epstein followers his young teenage daughter. Yikes.

No one is spared the spot-on nasty barbs. If you like your political cruelty nothing short of Chaplin’s Great Dictator, you may have some kind of reincarnation in Barron Cohen (who shares a name with Trump’s son, about all they have in common).

The world will long note the zingers that never miss.

If you suffer from a syndrome known as “bad taste,” this is your movie. Borat lampoons all American life ruthlessly, and goes through a list of men to offer his daughter (all McDonald Trump aides are in jail or under arrest). This leaves him with Rudi Giuliani—and that leaves us with the biggest political shocker of many years of political humor.

We cannot think of a more worthy political target.

What exactly is faked in this movie?  You likely have to watch it for yourself to make a hard decision on the corrupt nature of Trump’s associates.

This is a whack job movie, and defies good taste, political boundaries, and critical assessment.

Breedlove Produces 2nd Bigfoot Film

Actor/Producer/Heart-Throb Adam Duggan

 DATELINE:  Superior Research

This year’s Part Two of the notable documentary on Bigfoot by Seth Breedlove did not disappoint. Though the history and legend was on-spot and in-depth, his decision to follow-up with a search for the animal may have proven foolhardy.

In his hands, this focus is again unusual and takes a position, even with witnesses and investigators, that is a bit different. He even admits that a year on the trail of Bigfoot is enough to help him understand the bug that bites those who devote their lives and personal resources to the search. He goes out on several daunting night-time searches.

A surprising area in Oklahoma is a virgin forest near the Arkansas border, not what you think of as the great plains. It is a habitat that is so dark and lonely that no humans have settled here. A few camps of investigators have been established.

A hotspot called Area X, this place contains a group that is ready to take down a Bigfoot for science. Yes, the only way to truly prove that Bigfoot exists is to bring one in dead. To that end, they have powerful weapons, hide in the bush, wear camouflage, and are hunting for one Bigfoot.

Their view is that sacrificing one ape is necessary to protect all of them.

So, far after five years, there is no luck in killing one. However, audio tapes document rock throwing attacks and wood tree banging. The unidentifiable shrieks can be anything.

A pair of big eyes is called possible observation, but it seemed to be an owl, not a Bigfoot.

One of the researchers is Adam Duggan, a handsome young man who claims to be a skeptic, but also is listed as a producer and actor in Bigfoot films. Even if he is a skeptic, he may not be above the search as a route to fame and fortune.

Science has failed Bigfoot research, and those who have tried to tie UFOs and paranormal to Bigfoot have not helped the quest. Two unproven theories tend to cancel each other.

Most researchers are self-funded and there are hardly an networks of shared research. It is an expensive and time-consuming hobby, and those who have given it up are like ex-alcoholics, warning off others.

Another brilliant effort from producer and director Seth Breedlove.

Fake Melania Now Escorting the President to Fake COVID Rallies

WILL THE REAL MELANIA PLEASE SHUT UP?

DATELINE: BOGUS FLOTUS

Some time ago we first reported on the shocking case of a fake Melania. This body double hoodwink now has become a scandal.

This story is known as the Bogus FLOTUS.  And only one word is an acronym. The other is a fake.

It seems the real Melania hates to hold hands with Trump in public and slaps his attempts at a finger roll. So, Trump has done what any billionaire with the resources and will to power may:  he has found a lookalike who willingly goes out on the campaign trail in large Jackie O sunglasses.

Now perhaps Trump likes the Jackie O look, or perhaps this is all part of the ruse to hide as much of the First Lady’s face from the public and media as possible.

Some gritty analysts now have taken to counting her teeth—and found that the broad smile on fake Melania contains different shades and shapes of upper choppers. All the better to eat fast food on Air Force One.

We grew increasingly suspicious that the First Lady Fakery is at hand, foot, and face, when Trump starts to introduce the First Lady by saying, “She’s here.”  We know that whenever he makes a statement, the opposite is more likely the truth.

So, who is this lookalike?  We may never know. As we proposed two years ago, this was done in a Hollywood movie in the 1940s when a Hitler fake went around to all the big political rallies.

The ending was disturbing as the fake Hitler’s wife makes a successful attempt at assassinating the Nazi leader. We don’t know how good Secret Service is, but the SS of Hitler were hardly slouches when it came to body protection of doubles.

We await the election results when the fake Melania may show up at the fake victory celebration.

 

 

My Friendly Ghost is Not Caspar

Happy Halloween?

DATELINE:  Haunted House at Halloween

A recent Geico insurance commercial shows a couple haunted by Caspar the Friendly Ghost. His child-like demeanor is irksome (as usual) as he chews popcorn in their ears while watching TV.

Friends often say I ought to have guests visit on Halloween for fun

In real life, such as it is, when your home is haunted by a friendly ghost, even more when he is  is college-aged, you may have some amusing experiences.

For example, just this week, the friendly ghost here, named Richard who died at age 21 in a horrible disaster, knew I had retired to my upstairs office for the night when I discovered I left my new box of cough drops downstairs.

To kill two birds with one stone, I would fetch them when I went downstairs with something else. Laziness leads to all kinds of trouble.

So, half-an-hour later, I traipsed down the narrow stairs to the kitchen where I put away some stuff, and promptly turned to leave. At that point came a loud crashing sound.  As a retired college professor, I am more or less accustomed to college age student antics.

 

 

When I turned around, there I saw my cough drops had fallen off the shelf and onto the counter, knocking over several items. Oh. I profusely thanked my ghostly assistant.

He likes to toss things about to call my attention like this occasion. The next day he tried to use modern technology, my smart watch to communicate.

I found a rather large bug on the wall in my bathroom. Not being Zen, I removed a shoe to bang it to the next world. As I did so, my smart watch went on with a text message: one of those spam notices: “Do you need pest control?” it asked.

Oh, Richard, you are too too much. No, I haven’t saved any money with my friendly ghost, but he is quite helpful around the house and makes for witty comments.

 

 

 

N.E. Patriots Meet a Slump, a Speed Bump, and a Pothole

Lady Luck!

DATELINE:  Going Down!

Mother of Mercy, can this be the end of the Patriot juggernaut of two decades? The road to glory seems to have run out of pavement.

After a glorious 20-year run, spending most of the time in first place in the hearts of Patriots Nation, the home town team seems to have hit a bump in the road. At least there are no sinkholes ahead. They are sinking in one now.

Yes, the Patriots are no longer in sole possession of the top spot to the playoffs. They are in their first slump of of the 21stcentury. When your first slump comes with the dog days of a pandemic, you are about to find cause to worry that rivals the Black Death in sports.

The last time a Patriots team came into a prolonged slump, they went into the poop chute faster than you can say Shaeffer Stadium.

We are more inclined to worry this time. There is no way they can equal the sinking of the titanic teams of the 1970s, which stands as a benchmark of hubris. We saw the past, and the future looks much the same.

This time their QBs have gone soft. We have not exactly seen a team with endless TD power, but their ability to make timely scores has lost more games than expected.

Now the dinner bell, like the guns over Flanders Field, have gone silent. Scarce heard below are the dead Pats of previous seasons hoping the present underdogs have caught the torch and will hold it high.

Short days ago the Patriots won, Brady looked younger than youth, and Bill Belichick looked like a genius, but now the Pats are starting to look like the embalmed teams of the yesteryear, or like the Jets.

Cheer up, fans! This may be only an aberration on the road to the Super Bowl. . A team with character knows their fate is in the hands of Bill Belichick and Cam Newton.

Move over, Black Death. The Pats need more room.

RELEASE THE KRAKEN!

Colossal or Giant Squid

DATELINE: Deep Sea Denizen

How can anyone ever forget the great Lord Laurence Olivier playing Zeus in Clash of the Titans?  In one hilarious moment, he yelled out, as only he could, “Release the kraken!”

Good heavens, now decades later, Monsterquest  has indeed released the Kraken, a legendary god of the Deep Blue Sea. We have been accused often of being Kraken in Der Head. Now we have Kraken on the brain.

If you like your fishy monsters with a pedigree, the Kraken is your sea creature. Alas, Monsterquest  is after the Humboldt Squid: still a voracious, muscular, omonster of the deep. Never seen, but theorized to be a hundred feet in length, they have populated Jules Verne novels, but have remained science fiction mostly.

Now, there will be an attempt to prove they live in the depths and never surface. They will eat anything, including you.

This latest episode is an update of a 2006 show that captured a giant squid on camera for the first time. The 2019 version featured Scott Cassell, the same expert, whose blonde hair is now snowy white. The cute researchers are now long in the tooth, and the latest Monsterquest team is basically a new batch of thrill-seekers.

What else can you say about guys who don’t mind being attacked by angry squid. One complains, there must be an easier way to make a living—but they’d never go for it.

There is, he contends, as many giant and colossal squid (the 100 feet long ones) as there are people on earth, but they are so deep in the oceans they are never seen.

If anything comes out of this show, it is the idea that 1000 years ago these things were called Kraken—and they are highly intelligent and observant!  That may be enough to say, leave them alone.

 

 

Tom Brady, NFL, Want Sexist Idiocy to Prevail

For Love of Money

DATELINE: Return of KooKoo Bird Antonio Brown

Your NFL might be game spoilers, but they are contemptuous of society’s rules of good faith and good manners. Yes, they have shown their hypocrisy again by caving in to the whims of Tom Brady, that traitor slug whose personal looks are as fake as his so called family values.

Now a pirate-headed shot-caller in Trumpabay, Tom left leftist New England for the land of no income tax: Florida. Like the true Trumpist he is, he has no sense of shame when it comes to his racism.

It’s not America that Tom wants Great. It’s himself.

He has befriended mental case Antonio Brown, not for altruistic reasons, but for good old-fashioned plain greedy reasons. He wants to prove what a great quarterback he is—and he is calling for the talent he wants, even if the rest of the world is horrified.

Antonio Brown is a walking text book for sexism, misogyny and rape. So, family man Tom Brady wants him as his receiver. He even let this nutcase live in his house for a few weeks in New England. Wife and kids be damned.

The Patriots and sex toy Robert Kraft (even Belichick the Cheat, could not abide Antonio Brown and released him.

Now Tom’s hissy-fit antics in Tampa have caused HC Bruce Ariens to go against his political instincts and become the new Bruce Aryans. Yes, he will do whatever fascist Tom Brady requests. He too wants to win.

The NFL is like that: money over integrity, bull-headed control over common sense, racism and sexism over logic and science. It’s Trump’s guys gone wild.

We can only hope that Brown will not deliver the packages and Brady will be a Tampa Dud. However, we expect our Proud Boys will line up behind Tom Brady. It’s a year of pandemic gold.

 

 

 

 

 

Hunt for a Missing Masterpiece!

DATELINE:  Raphael’s Young Man Abducted

For over 70 years, one of the premiere items from a Krakow art museum has been missing, plundered and stolen by Nazi terrorists in the early 1940s. The work, by Raphael, is the remarkable Portrait of a Young Man. Today, if it is located, the value is put at around $100million.

If you want someone with expertise and knowledge to be the centerpiece of a miniseries on Nazi Treasure Hunters,you would likely call on James Holland who also examined such diverse issues as Nazi pep pills.

You don’t need much incentive to go looking for a impressive Raphael Renaissance painting. It was one of three the museum owned: a Leonardo and Rembrandt were the others. It’s a small but extraordinary trio.

Only Raphael’s fey young man in a black beret remains lost.

Most interesting is the fact that elderly sons of powerful Nazi leaders are more than willing to criticize their fathers and their ruthless attitude. Hans Frank’s youngest son called his father “a cultured killer,” and he believed his mother sold the Raphael for food after the war when her executed husband left her to raise children without funds or help. He didn’t think much of his parents, as his mother called herself “Queen of Poland,” only half in jest during the Nazi occupation.

The painting was the victim of a tug of war between Goering and Frank for two years before Hitler tired of their bickering to send it back to Krakow—and a fate under the control of an art restorer who had rejected Nazism and was sent to Poland as a punishment.

As often happens in these shows, they have set up a public forum to flush out the lost painting. Maybe it will hit the news, but the picture may be in some attic in Silesia. Or it will be sold to a billionaire Saudi who collects private art, never again to be seen (sort of like the Leonardo sold at auction a few years ago)>

On the Trail….Bigfoot (Again)

Bullets Bounce Off his Chest

DATELINE: Historical Track 

After a plethora of Bigfoot films, perhaps rivaling the numerous sightings, one grabbed our attention for its historical look at the topic. Well, that is novel and unusual in the spate of witness accounts.

On the Trail of…Bigfoot.

This little documentary wants to take us back to the roots in pioneer America, and it does contain many morsels hitherto not reported widely. And, you must couple that with breathtaking scenes of miles of forestland around the country.

One of the first stops is Ohio, hardly a place you’d think Bigfoot would be seen: yet there are some fairly wooded areas and some fairly surprising tales.

Back in the first-half of the 19thcentury the newspapers knew a good thing to sell the slow news day:  but they did not call this creature Bigfoot. That was years away.  He was known as The Wild Man, or the Mountain Devil. He was a creature shockingly naked and hairy. Of course, some of the more prudish newspapers had him putting on some clothes. We rather think this a convention to keep readers from too much shock.

The monster had been reported in late 19thcentury after discovery of the gorilla in Africa. Groups of thse mountain devils attacked prospectors regularly. The big galoot was impervious to bullets.

Produced by Seth Breedlove, this film is intelligent and careful, tries to be objective, and manages to be original in the process.

The Pacific Northwest started the “Bigfoot” verbiage when lumberjacks found bare footprints around their logging equipment and publicized it. It took till the 1970s before the phenomenon moved eastward again, with the Minerva Monster of Ohio.

However, the Abominable Snowman (from the 1920s) took hold in American movies and that sparked an Americanized form. The major characteristics developed quickly, though eastern versions were more aggressive and hostile.

By the 1990s, you had a merging of Bigfoot and UFOs—and the evolution of a legend reached a new apex. This fascinating documentary is worth your time, from 2018.

 

Another Tree Stands Defenseless to the Onslaught!

DATELINE: Witness to History   

 

Winchendon Springs, Massachusetts, has the worst record for not protecting history that I, as an author and historian, have ever encountered. Over decades, key buildings have been razed, and a cavalier attitude of a somewhat less than helpful historical society masquerades as a town body.

 

In the latest incarnation of sad anti-historical activity, the new owners of a location going back to the 1820s have routinely ignored the past in pursuit of profit. They have systematically dismantled the area’s past.

The Mill Circle Equestrian Center acts like it has the right to do whatever it wants. It is typically run by people with a chip on their shoulders—and horses to corral. 

In the past days, they took down a tree planted by Nelson White in 1850. Yes, the grand maple was 170 years old—and lately some limbs came off in bad wind storms.

We hate to see a living witness to history be taken down, limb by limb. The magnificent tree had some core rot at the top, but it was left standing upright. It deserved care and treatment, not execution.

Perhaps the coming seasons will bring new growth and resurrection. The tree once grew over the famed cold mineral spring that healed so many in the 19thcentury.

It oversaw the notorious murder of a peddler under its shade on the Fourth of July in 1826.  It was on the family property, near the gazebo where two victims of the Titanic once played as children.

Now the hulk stands denuded, not quite a stump, not cut to the nub. Yet, it is a pathetic reminder that time fells all—the deserving and undeserving.

Giddy new owners and neighbors seemed to revel in the tree’s demise. We were saddened to see it fall piece by piece. The neighborhood’s beauty has been diminished.

New Book from Ossurworld

DATELINE: Comedy Tonight! 

When you do movie review blogs for ten years, you soon have quite a backlog of films. Some remain popular year after year. We have never been able to predict which reviews will be favorites of the reading public. 

However, many blogs are read several times during the first week they appear—and thence go into one of those black holes in the center of the galaxy.

We –my tapeworm and I—have decided to gather together some of the lesser read blog reviews under a general heading. We figure out of a pile of thousands, we can find about 100 that are interesting.

So, we began compiling movies according to genre (like suspense, Sherlock Holmes, UFOs,  and the like). 

We were surprised there were a good many comedies. We generally don’t watch those films, or don’t review them. You may not realie that I only print out the films that are largely interesting, well-done, unusual, or seem metaphoric of the era.

When we gathered together Comedy Tonight, it had some of our favorites, and some we had forgotten.  Actually our book on Westerns is selling briskly.  All the reviews are based on some college courses taught years ago in another life as a professor of film studies.

Among the marvelous comedy movies, we found Elaine May’s A New Leaf with Walter Matthau as a fortune hunter going after a millionaire botanist. We recalled The Loved One that featured Liberace and Rod Steiger as funeral directors in a California mortuary. We had forgotten about Follow That Camel  with Phil Silvers playing his alter ego, Sgt. Bilko out in the desert as a foreign legionnaire—or marvelous Peter O’Toole playing a version of Errol Flynn in My Favorite Year.

Oh, yeah, there are a few stinkeroos that we advise you to avoid.

Our reviews always seemed to be in some kind of humor rivalry with the actual film under review. Yet, we think if you want a collection of recommendations, this little volume might do the trick. It’s available, of course, in both e-book and print versions on Amazon.

We prefer the one for smart-readers.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 Maisy Battery: Nazi Ruins

Maisy Battery

DATELINE: A Devil’s Lair? Coverup of Disaster

For over fifty years, history covered up a Nazi underground base the size of four football fields one mile from Normandy. The third episode of Secret Nazi Ruins is a shocker.

Its top-secret nature, unknown to Allies, caused thousands of American casualties during D-Day. So, it was finally discovered three days later and covered up literally with earth. Then, it was forgotten about deliberately so the heroic leaders of the war effort were clean of ineptitude and incompetence.

The Nazis and Rommel misdirected the Allies to other spots and kept even locals in the dark about the scope of this Maisy Battery. It was discovered by sheer accident by Gary Sterne, a researcher. He was able to buy the land because no one believed it was the site of a major Nazi base.

Rommel was thought to have been sent to France as a punishment and demeaning of his skills: however, what he accomplished at Maisy near Omaha Beach was nothing less than Nazi brilliance. It makes his falling out with Hitler even more puzzling.

Gary Sterne excavated and learned these farm field were a major banking center that stored money likely to be used in post-war rebuilding of the Reich. He discovered that there may have been highly advanced radar technology here. This was the ultimate and true Atlantic Wall that was thought to be fiction.

History books ignored Maisy and the truth of Hitler’s most devastating secret military base to stop D-Day. They could not because D-Day came too soon for the German plans. If D-Day had been delayed, the result might have been quite different.

This episode is one of the singly most horrifying bits of new information on the World War II history that has been withheld.

 

 

 

 

Hunt for Real Dragons!

NOT MYSTERYQUEST, BUT MONSTERQUEST

DATELINE: Monsterquest Provides More Thrills

These lizards that once topped 40 feet, or the size of a bus, have been gone for 40,000 years according to some experts. However, on Monsterquest, in Australia, there have been sightings of monster dragons (monitor lizards?) that run at least 20 feet in length back in 1890. It was hunted and disappeared.

On Monsterquest, there is no such thing as extinction.

Today there are reports growing that something at least that big is in southern Australia. Since the habitat of these creatures was in tradition around the equator (northern Australia), they have moved increasingly south.

WE don’t expect to see one parading around in Central Park, but knowing what is in the Everglades, we wouldn’t be surprised. Footprints have been found that rival anything of Bigfoot near Alice Springs.

You’d have to accept the notion that alligators and great white sharks both grow to 20 feet normally. So, a monitor lizard of that size should not surprise. We did learn that lizards grow all through their lives, and only death stops that size.

So, your sprinting lizard could catch and rip a human apart easily. No comfort there. Aboriginal reports put the lizard at 10,000 years ago after the Ice Age. Could they survive in bush country?

Mysteryquestassembles a team of cryptozoologists (people without a degree or academic standing). The braver and younger team is in Indonesia at Komodo Island where a child was killed by a big dragon several years ago. These guys use a stick and rope to catch a dragon and measure it. They find several nine feet long, but the Australian team is smaller, older, and less lucky.

These creatures have saliva that contains fifty kinds of toxins that cause sepsis quickly, though one Smithsonian expert notes that if they bite something, it comes off.

Once again, Monsterquest has a solid episode without much result, but plenty of information and intrigue. As for the footprint, one museum expert with real credentials said it was too symmetrical and looked like it was artificially created.

If there was a truly disturbing moment, it was when the show switched to a commercial with that Australian lizard who sells insurance. Talk about frightening.