Trump’s Quarantini

 DATELINE: Add Lysol & Chlorox.


When Jim Jones wanted to kill off his supporters, he offered them Kool-Aid as a quick remedy. When Heaven’s Gate wanted to eliminate its members, they donned purple sheets and drank an elixir to send them to the asteroid belt.

Trump wants to give his followers a Chlorox Chaser and a wine cooler to end their days with the bad economy and coronavirus.

Turn on the gamma rays and bottoms up. There’s nothing like a refreshing blast of Lime Lysol and Soda right before your stimulus check bounces.

If you think Trump was being sarcastic, you have to realize that the bad joke is 50,000 dead Americans while Trump fiddles away in the White House. Nero had nothing on Trump

Pass the Tequila and drop in one of those laundry detergent pellets for just the right bounce in your dryer days.

Putin recommends a Black Russian made with two parts liquid Comet Cleanser. It takes the edge of sweetness off your last coughing breath.

We think the last days of mud in your eye ought to be spent with a drink the boys in the back room shared with Marlene: whiskey on the rocks of Tide.

Time and Tide wait for no president who sticks a UV ray gun up his country’s kazoo.

Bottoms up, Trump supporters. Eat dishwasher pellets, drink Lysol, and be merry for tomorrow your President will close the Post Office and send you the bill for his insanity treatment by Pony Express.