DATELINE: Movers and Earth Shakers
Patriot Fans Silent Scream
Scientists in New England have discovered an earthquake fault line in Foxboro. It runs right through New England Patriot country.
Resembling the notorious rift called the San Andreas Fault in California, the New England version centers around cracks in the great football empire of the Kraft family.
The Pats sent Jimmy G off to San Fran where Tom Brady’s heart was born, and the tremors are now starting in New England.
It seems the possible damage might include the Pats sliding into the Atlantic Ocean if the eruption and shaking continues. It seems the fault line can be traced to Tom Brady’s guru/nutcase inventor of the TB12 Method. No one is closer to Tom, not even Hurricane Jules.
Alex Guerrero has been banned from the sidelines and from travel on the JetKraft team airplane with Tom by the Thunderous Bill Belichick. The GOAT admits that there is a fault line developing. It could shake the entire area if Tom is sent sliding into the NFL when the rift with Belichick is exposed.
Right now it is merely a crackpot line in the sand. Plate techtonics indicate that Brady is standing on the line and jumping up and down on it.
Tom’s Fault now has claimed other Patriots who have sought refuge with the Guerrero Camp over Patriot doctors’ advice. Gronk, Edelman, and even Hanley Ramirez of the Red Sox, are now planning for the Big One to shake up sports.
We are not sure if the faultline ought be called the Brady Rift, the San Belichick Fault, or name the entire potential disaster after the notorious snake oil salesman, Alex Guerrero.
We know only that the tremors have sent Patriot fans scurrying about. How can a potential tsunami like this be at the Patriot doorstep?
The Great Tom Brady Earthquake is now on top of the New England Patriot worry list.