DATELINE: Tom & Ivanka Up a Tree
Winning five Super Bowls will convince you that you are able to walk on water. Not only that, Tom Brady thinks he can drink 20 glasses of water every morning to prevent sunburn and damage to his skin.
He is hydrated on life.
He may also finally be the victim of his own delusions.
It sounds like the man who almost became his father-in-law was Donald Trump. Yep, Trump wanted Tom to marry daughter Ivanka a few years back.
Brady’s biggest fumble was the romance with Ivanka, according to Anthony Scaramucci, disgraced former Trump aide.
If he had accepted Trump’s crazy marriage idea, Tom would be in the White House today, facing Congressional threats while his impeachable father-in-law readied to throw him to the wolves.
Tom’s special sleepware, his athletic regimen, and his special diet, would provide little assistance when faced with jail time for colluding with the Russians.
Instead of being kissed on the cheeks by billionaire Robert Kraft, he’d be kicked in the ass cheeks by billionaire Donald Trump.
By avoiding any trips to the White House, according to Anthony Scaramucci, Tom evaded an embarrassing contretemps with Ivanka and her backup QB, Jared Kushner.
You likely would never have heard of Julian Edelman if Tom’s nuptials took place with Ivanka. Julian who thinks watching Tom pass to other receivers is like seeing your girlfriend kiss another guy. Julian would be living on a Russian gulag if Tom had married Ivanka.
That would not be the life of a New England Patriot legend. He’d be in the cross-hairs of Robert Mueller, not Roger Goodell.
Instead of enjoying a bye-week on the secluded beaches of Costa Rica with Giselle Bundchen, he’d be in the DMZ of Korea with Trump who was defying North Korea to fire a missile at him.
On the turn of a marriage idea, Tom Brady proved he is not quite as crazy as Trump.