Tale of Two QBs: Old Man Rivers & Tom Terrific

DATELINE:  Maxed Out Chargers

 Old Man Rivers

When you were not looking, the San Diego Chargers moved from Andrew Cunananland to Los Angeles Charlie Mansonland. They are now the Los Angeles Chargers, but look generally like they need new batteries. They seem unable to hold a charge.

The great stability is, needless-to-say, Philip Rivers, the perennial quarterback who like the little choo-choo tried the way Tom Brady does it, but never made it over the hump.

Tom is refined with his billion-dollar friends like Kraft and Trump, whereas Phil Rivers is surrounded by an uncountable number of undisciplined players and lives a noisy life. You could see it in his complaining ways at Gillette as his team mismanaged every aspect of the game.

Yes, Philip Rivers is the anti-Tom Brady.

Rivers is playing into old age, but you’ll never catch him using Botox. He plans to sag all the way into the middle years. He has no fancy sleepwear. He does not drive an Aston Martin (worth $360,000). he does not seem to exercise or diet in any particular way.  He has not written a bestseller giving away all his secrets.

What’s worse, Philip Rivers has a bad case of crow’s feet—around his eyes. Botox would have taken care of that and given him a smooth face, like Tom.

However, unlike Brady he is still playing out of shape and in dubious physical condition, but at a high-level.

This certainly qualifies him as an Every Man. There’s no doubt Pilgrim’s Progress would be his book. That’s the old Christian allegory by Paul Bunyon.

We suspect Tom Brady‘s favorite book would be by Norman Vincent Peale, no not the banana peel, the power of positive thinking peel.

So these aging quarterbacks from the opposite ends of the quantum spectrum, are meeting in a Clash of the Titans  under the rainy skies are Foxboro.

Alas, Rivers is a midget Titan, never having won a Super Bowl.

At the end of the game we saw that high tech living with a guru and Fountain of Youth is comparable to cover the middle-age spread of the bettors, or the betters of Philip Rivers.