Time for Tom Brady to Retire?

DATELINE:  Mirror, Mirror, on the Wall

off off-season

When our Haitian home health aide tells us something, we generally listen closely. He knows everything—and he is also an expert in voodoo.

So, when we considered the post-game post-mortem on the Patriots loss to Kansas City in the opener of 2017, we realized that the mantra of “One More Time” is the equivalent of whistling past the graveyard. It was, we were reminded, the 9th anniversary of the same Chiefs crushing Tom’s leg in a game, losing an entire season.

All this was detailed in the off-season book about the Patriots called The Most Off Off-Season Ever. For those with elephantine memories, you will recall that Tom Brady dismissed talk of curses and superstitions by taking the proactive stance of smashing a mirror with a hammer.

Well, we cringed then—and now a series of freakish injuries has decimated Tom’s receiving corps. The esprit de corps is now in a MASH unit in North Korea.

In no short order, Tom Brady has lost Edelman, Amendola, and Malcolm Mitchell. Other Patriots look like the walking dead from cable television: notably Gronk.

So, when our health aide said Tom Brady is too old to play quarterback, our ears were pierced with the shrill cry of a banshee in the night.

We were reminded of Muhammad Ali’s comment to Howard Cosell about age: “Ask your wife, Howard. You are not the man you were seven years ago.”

Yes, the mirror may mean that Tom’s next comeback will be in seven years: that’s a lot of IR under the bridge. Just ask any troll you find there.

You may dismiss superstition when you are the 1968 Mets, but you don’t go walking under a ladder and asking black cats to jump into your 50-yard line of vision.

Tom Brady should retire? Who’d have thunk it two weeks ago? But today, Tom looks like the man who smashed a mirror out of arrogance.

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