(shortly after posting this blog, the offending car was removed from bidding)
DATELINE: 4-Runner of Death
Owning it will be a bit like owning Lizzie Borden’s Tin Lizzie.
Yes, that icon of Americana, eBay is at it again.
This time you can own a piece of the late Patriot, Aaron Hernandez, by owning his rental. Yes, that’s right. Though Hernandez never drove this car, it was his and he was the last passenger.
Since being impounded by police as the vehicle most likely to have delivered a five murderous rounds of bullets, the car has been about as lonely as the Maytag washing machine repairman.
The online auction tells you this 4-Runner was used to gun down two young men at a traffic light in Boston. The jury didn’t believe it, but why take a chance that this isn’t the dead man’s grim 4-Runner.
Boston Police believed it was worthy of being the harbinger of death. Can you take a chance that Aaron Hernandez is now haunting the car?
For a year the car was an off-road vehicle, having been kept in a garage under wraps. That means the car is even newer than its 2012 vintage.
After leasing was up, Hernandez was forced to purchase the car to keep it in a Connecticut state of pristine hiding.
A few wags have called the Deathmobile by a sobriquet, “The Silver Bullet.” We don’t recall what Billy the Kid called his horse, but it could have been Silver.
If you see lanterns in a Boston steeple, this car will go to 60mph in six seconds to take you all the way from Concord and Lexington to Foxboro, or have we mixed our metaphors yet again?
The SUV is allegedly worth about $10,000, but bids are now upping toward double that amount. It must be the black soot marks inside where police dusted for fingerprints. That’s an extra you don’t usually find in a used car.
As a throwaway, or throw-in, the seller offers you a signed Hernandez “81” Patriots jersey. If you recall, the Patriots tried to collect and to destroy every available Hernandez shirt. They failed.