DATELINE: Dumb Opening Acts
When an aging 40-year old superstar QB chases down a superstar tight end coming off back surgery, you have the potential for a Super Nova.
This is the kind of tale told when you sit around a campfire and explain it to your grandchildren at the end of the 21st century.
In space terms, that’s one Big Bang.
If you see stars falling out of Super Bowl LII, you may think Belichick’s mantra of “One More,” could take on all the elements of Greek tragedy.
If you like your bangs with medical accoutrements, you may be in a body cast up to your earlobes with a cast of super stupid stars.
Instead of the Alpha, jock humor will be the Omega of the Patriots firmament.
Many fans, and Bob Kraft too, must have looked aghast upon the Great Chase of Brady after Gronk who re-stole the infamous Super Bowl jersey. Only Bob Kraft saw millions of dollars going down on the Fenway short right field.
If you want to steal the fire from heaven, you could end up in Hades.
The last time we saw a chase like this, it was in a Buster Keaton silent film about the Civil War called The General. The old locomotive went into the drink—and that was that.
Imagine losing your two biggest NFL stars at an MLB ceremony. It would be like Hertz giving Avis a bunch of flat tires. If you want to kick the tires on Brady and Gronk, you might wonder how they manage to run the field when Tony Romo retires the same day at a median of their ages owing to injury.
On the other hand, you might like the feistiness of the young pup Brady, having discovered his second childhood, and the quick, nimble recovery of a man prone to back pain. You may like to live dangerously.
Fortunately, the Great Fenway Chase was about as scripted as a Three Stooges skit about a week back.