Patriots Butler Did It (to himself)

DATELINE: From Frying Pan to Belichick’s Crock Pot

frying pan to steamer.jpg

We grow weary of the stories of stoic, suffering Malcolm Butler of the Patriots and his need for a cash injection to swell up his ego. His agent claims he is not asking for the moon, but merely wants a large asteroid.

In any case, this is like asking Bill Belichick for a blank check.

Alas, poor Butler, he’s in the pantry without his pantaloons. And his agent is no dresser.

Butler seems about to be cast off from the Patriots after asking for $13 million per year. He is offended that the Patriots offered another player who could replace him that largesse of money. Instead from Bill’s checkbook they have offered him merely a pay raise five times what he was making this season.

It’s never enough in the world of Midas touches.

The Patriots plucked Butler out of the deep fryar of a chicken fast-food chain and gave him a chance to become a star. Now he wants 20x what he made last year. It looks like the New Orleans Saints are willing to order the chicken wings de luxe.

Whether Butler will serve din-din to the Patriots defense for another season will be a decision that occurs when Belichick matches any offer. Hold the sauce. Butlers are out of fashion in Gillette Stadium where dumb waiters are the norm.

So now Malcolm Butler’s agent is shopping around for a team that will actually pay the Patriots a first round draft pick and take the Under-Butler away from Super Bowl teams with accompanying rings.

Footmen fans claimed the Butler has had an unfortunate lesson in the business of NFL football. We suspect Malcolm suffers from the chicken-feed killer, yes, one of the deadliest sins, greed.