Hirsute Edelman Grins & Bears It Up

DATELINE: Hair Today

 beastie-boy

While Gronk and Danny Amendola shine with a winner’s glow during their off-season, appearing everywhere from fashion show catwalks to the Dayton 500, pity poor Julian Edelman.

The best he could muster was a make-over to deal with his nasty-looking beard. Some unkind Jets fans have speculated that no one wants to touch him—for fear of cooties or worse.

And, that alone has made him untouchable during those Brady passes.

We are sure lice have found a sanctuary city among the kinky hairline. It may take a Trump executive order to end the itch.

We suspect that apart from Tommy Brady, no one has made a pass at Julie since he started sprouting something akin to pubic hair on his chinny-chin-chin. We suspect some is growing out of his ears by now.

So, it seems somewhat normal that he would jump at the chance to have a beauty re-do. In his line of work, he seldom catches a second chance.

Once a cutie-pie with chiseled looks, he now sports the scruff like a badge of ugly. A few rationalists contend Edelman is in a hair-off contest with Rob Ninkovich, on whom facial hair has met never met a nose trimmer it liked.

Former Patriot star and wearer of #11 in past years, Drew Bledsoe sent a tweet to Edelman that the homeless logger look has reached its nadir.

Edelman responded that “homeless chic is in.” Perhaps he just needs a beard.

We suspect that the pressure has backfired, though we read between the sheets that Edelman may have been kicked out of more beds lately than in previous years combined.

The next line-up for Julie will be “bear call” at P-town’s hairy fright night in June when hibernation ends.

 

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