Tom Brady Robbed

 DATELINE: No, Not the MVP Award


Tom still has all his marbles, but something precious was taken in Houston after the Super Bowl.

The eyes of Texas are upon him.

Before leaving Texas after the Super Bowl, Tom Brady let it be known that his game jersey was swiped out of the Patriots’ locker room. Suspects are legion—from media members to teammates.

This is not fake news, though it made the network news shows.

When Tom told Robert Kraft what happened in the locker room, it was caught on tape on one of the myriad smartphones. It became wider knowledge when Brady discussed the subject at the MVP ceremony.

Almost immediately, the Lieutenant Governor of Texas announced how distressed he was.  Furthermore, he was putting the Texas Rangers on the job. They would get to the bottom of the stolen jersey.

Rangers were checking everyone’s smartphone video to find the culprit.

Owner Bob Kraft told Brady, the purloined shirt will be for sale online before you know it.  Collectible appraisers are calling the #12 Jersey worth $500,000.

We don’t understand how a sweaty dirty jersey, covered and Tom Brady’s DNA, has any value. It’s not like he signed it.

Anyone who announced he took Tom Brady’s jersey would be immediately arrested.

Tom planned to look on eBay for his shirt. We cannot imagine losing one’s shirt In the sanctity of the locker room.  But, Tom also lost a shirt at a previous Super Bowl game.

This is a trend. All our Sherlockian detective skills tell us it is an inside job.

We doubt that Julian Edelman took the hot jersey. He already has a pair of Tom’s underwear, sold on eBay and worn by Tom in the Ted movie, We won’t mention copper-infused pajamas Julie received as an Xmas gift.