Steelers Meet the Massholes

DATELINE: Brady’s Bunch as Historical Inevitabilities

 mad-dog-hogan Mad Dog Hogan

The Pittsburgh Steelers may have learned today that being a Masshole is a point of pride for those living in Massachusetts, supporting the Patriots.

After he built a fortress in Brookline that must be called San Simeon, Xanadu, or Sloppy Joe’s, Tom Brady is a primary Masshole resident.

Unlike predictions, there was absolutely no suspense in this game.

Belichick’s plan was nothing out of the Hitchcock playbook.  Unlike the Master of Suspense, Belichick gave the crowd of Massholes a standard victory plan.

If there was a mystery, it was where were the yellow flags. We thought Goodell’s goons would be on the offensive against Brady, but they seemed to have lost their yellow mettle.

The referees were simply not throwing them. It was one of the most stingy games we have seen in terms of penalizing Patriots.

When the turnovers came, the Steelers were in meltdown mode.

The Killer Bs (Brown, Ben, Bell) seemed to be missing from the hive or turned into the honeybees. The other Steeler killers did try to kill always irksome Julian Edelman. His gadfly attitude just drove them crazy.

The real murder victim in the game was the Steelers. And they were dead when LeGarrette Blount bluntly carried seven or eight of them to the 1 yard line. He was unstoppable. It crushed the Steelers and drove home the point that the better team was winning.

Mild mannered, wild-eyed lacrosse player, Chris Hogan number 15, turned out to be the Norman Bates of the Patriots. He slayed the Steelers, sending them to the showers.

So, the Brady Revenge Tour is going to its ultimate destination in Houston, where every pass will be a needle in the Roger Goodell voodoo doll.