Pats Play Like Baby Jane & King Kong

DATELINE:  Whatever Happened to the Patriots?


All that talk about Houston being the underdogs suddenly took a turn for the era of upset.  The mighty Casey striking out seemed to be playing in the wrong game in the wrong sport.

We hate raspberry turnovers, and they were more in this game than you could ever expect from the Patriots. For a while we wondered whatever happened to the Patriots before they channeled King Kong yet again.

You certainly never expected to see fumbles and interceptions all in the first half by the Patsies.

We saw the unviewable: Bill Belichick chewing out Eric Rowe. But it was the turning point in the first quarter.

Fans saw Brady sacked very much all season but suddenly it’s a new season, amd the falls were graceless. It all started with a personal foul of unnecessary roughness. Patriots never make that kind of penalty.

You know you’re in trouble when these things happen to start the game that did not seem to be the cakewalk in the park predicted by pundits.  The home team led 14 to 13, but when you’re 16 point favorites, you are in deep Doo Doo with an overflowing septic problem.

Houston started taking down Brady in a manner we haven’t seen since the biplanes knocked King Kong off his perch on the Empire State Building.

Patriots chose the wrong game to play their worst game. Did Tom not wear his sleepware last night to save his essence? It was spilled milk on the field.

Second Half, Sleeper Hold

Mother of Mercy, can this be the end of the Patriots?

Not hardly.  Brady came out firing those surgical passes and scored almost instantly: 90 yards in 9 plays. Dion Lewis added up three touchdown scores in myriad ways.

The guys in stripes then began their efforts to stop Brady and the Patriots. Goodell’s goons allowed manhandling of the star quarterback—and called close calls in favor of the Houston Texans.

Nevertheless, however poorly the Patriots accounted themselves, they could not sink into the abyss of Houston, where the bottom is more profound than former Pats like Wilfork, Izzo, Crennel, Vrabel, and O’Brien could fathom.

If any conclusion can be drawn from the Patriots’ victory by the requisite 17 points everyone predicted, it is that the road to Houston and Super Bowl LI is fraught with sea monsters lurking beneath the placid surface of Gillette Stadium.

Perhaps a good scare is useful.